Young Cancer Patients Often Lack Support: Study

I have had 4 cancers and have almost died 7 times.  I had no support from my family.  My daughters ignored me and I never heard from either of them.  My husband fixed my meals and gave me my medicine.  He never stayed to talk or watch TV.  I felt like I was in solitary confinement.  He never showed any kind of emotion.  For all I knew he could have been hoping I would die.  I know the lack of physical and emotional support exacerbated my side affects and recovery.  The loneliness was worse than the cancer.  People just assume your family is there for you.  They could have asked.  They could have filled the time for me.  It was doubly hard for me.   Many times I just felt like it would be better to die.  I have chemo brain and it is pretty bad.  Now I am treated like an idiot by my family.  My friends say they understand.  It's a new game. "Guess what Kitty is trying to say!".

One of the big issues that you have to fight to be raised is fertilty - sure I might have only had an 8% chance of getting to 5 years with oesophageal cancer (I was diagnosed when I was 32) but I still wanted to hope in the future for children - as it turns out I was given treatment to help but that was only because my then fiance fought for me (we married 2 weeks after chemo) - I am 38 now and have a 1 and 2 year old and we are trying for one more...

My daughter is only 30 years old and diagnosed suddenly with advanced colorectal cancer and secondary liver mets. Also in nodes so receiving chemotherpay which she has reacted badly to but other than family helping out the actual hospital have not contacted us to ensure she was okay she took severe reaction to first chemotherapy and was kept in hospital and we thought she had stroke. So from working one day to having emergency tests and being told that getting chemotherapy only pallatively to try to stop it moving to lungs etc. What type of care is out there to help support emotionally etc for such a  young person who should have their whole life ahead of them just planning to be married at end of this year to suddenly getting chemotherapy and being so ill. Where is the support. It is definitely lacking. What do people do if they have no family to support them like GK is saying.

Wish there was more help available

L in Scotland 

Hi, sorry to hear about your daughter. I also live in Scotland and was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in Feb 2007. It had been misdiagnosed by my GP and was only discovered when my bowel blocked. I had a bowel resection ( they removed a stage 4 and a stage 3 tumor)and as it had spread to my liver I had a liver resection 6months later after chemo. It then appeared in my ovaries which they removed Mar 2008,it was then back in my liver and I had another liver resection. It then appeared in my periteneum and that is inoperable. I have had chemo 4 times and radiotherapy once. I now have tumors in lung, spleen, liver (again) and periteneum. The treatment I have had over the last 5 years has been excellent and I have found everyone involved in my care to be very good. When it got to the stage where they would no longer operate I found it beneficial to speak to the staff at Maggies. I don't know where you stay in Scotland, I live in Fife so come under the care of the Western General in Edinburgh. I am still working and have done throughout my treatment although I did have time off to recover from my ops and would work two weeks out of three when on chemo. You may find that the chemo will shrink the tumor in the bowel and then they will be able to operate. Of all the people I have met over the five years I have not met one who has not had a bowel operation. I hope there is something that can be done for your daughter. There is help out there but unfortunatley you have to ask for it.

All the best

Elaine

Hi, sorry to hear about your daughter. I also live in Scotland and was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in Feb 2007. It had been misdiagnosed by my GP and was only discovered when my bowel blocked. I had a bowel resection ( they removed a stage 4 and a stage 3 tumor)and as it had spread to my liver I had a liver resection 6months later after chemo. It then appeared in my ovaries which they removed Mar 2008,it was then back in my liver and I had another liver resection. It then appeared in my periteneum and that is inoperable. I have had chemo 4 times and radiotherapy once. I now have tumors in lung, spleen, liver (again) and periteneum. The treatment I have had over the last 5 years has been excellent and I have found everyone involved in my care to be very good. When it got to the stage where they would no longer operate I found it beneficial to speak to the staff at Maggies. I don't know where you stay in Scotland, I live in Fife so come under the care of the Western General in Edinburgh. I am still working and have done throughout my treatment although I did have time off to recover from my ops and would work two weeks out of three when on chemo. You may find that the chemo will shrink the tumor in the bowel and then they will be able to operate. Of all the people I have met over the five years I have not met one who has not had a bowel operation. I hope there is something that can be done for your daughter. There is help out there but unfortunatley you have to ask for it.

All the best

Elaine