Our online cancer forum resources at CancerCompass.com are a supportive and encouraging place to find information and connect with other cancer patients and their loved ones. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/after-treatment/emotional/1,0,120,78.htm Fri, 24 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT Fri, 24 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I can't get him to get up to go into the livingroom and get out of bed. I'm afraid that he will continue to get weaker staying in the bed. This has just started for us at the first of May and we will be starting chemo and radiation after Memorial Day. I'm afraid that these treatments will make him weaker and lose more weight he has already lost 30 pounds. Some days he hardly talks and others he seens mad which I understand completely because I have been going thru a range of feelings myself. I'm a heart patient myself and I just want to do everything that I can possibly can for him we have been together since we were 17 years old married 43 years he is my life and I am his life that is why he didn't go to the doctor sooner he didn't want to worry me   http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71857,0.htm wildrose Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT Hi everyone, I am a recently cancer-free (I hope) 31 soon to be 32 year old man, but it really seems like it never ends sometimes.  I'm sorry if it will seem like I'm venting a lot, but I really never had a forum to express how I feel. Last January, my world completely changed when I found out I had an extremely rare extremely aggressive cancer (Rhabdomyosarcoma).  I was diagnosed with the most aggressive version of the disease and was a Stage 3 2C almost Stage 4.  Luckily for me the disease only spread from my head (where I had a 15.5 cm tumor which was mainly in my nasal passage, but went up to the brain and deteriorated the bone between my eye and ended up in my eye area as well) to the lymph nodes in my neck because if it went any further it would have been extremely bad news.  Still it is never easy to cope when someone tells you that you have a 50% chance to live.  If most of you have never heard of Rhabdomyosarcoma that is because it is extremely rare, especially in adults.  It is basically a kid disease for the most part and as most of you probably know kid's cancer is treated very different than adult cancer.  Because of this fact there was never really a book on how to treat me.  Thankfully for me I live in Philadelphia where there are some of the best doctor's in the world and I went to the best doctor's in the city for each of the processes I went through (surgery, chemo, and radiation).  After multiple surgeries that lasted longer than 12 hours each were performed to remove most of the cancer, I went through extremely grueling chemo and radiation therapy. The treatment tore me apart and made me a shell of who I was.  I would say more than 50% of last year I was stuck inpatient at the hospital.  I had several severe infections and for months out of my life I had a steady 104-105 fever and there was even a period where I couldn't fit even a drop of water down my throat for 3 weeks and we had to find alternative ways to get me calories to keep me alive while they tried to fight a temperature that they had no clue of the cause.  To make a long story short, I went through a horrible year as most of you probably can relate to, but it was all worth it because in the end they couldn't find any cancer on my pet scan.    I was still very sick, I felt like 20% of myself after it was all over and I had to take tons of narcotics to deal with the pain along with a ton of other pills which turned into taking ton of narcotics so that I didn't experience withdraw because I was physically addicted to them.  Well now that I said all of that here is the good news.  Now about 6-9 months later I feel great I am getting past and dealing with the fatigue, I've dramatically decreased my medication through hard work and will be off of the narcotics in a few months, I still have my eye and my eyesight and all in all I feel like 70-80% of what once was and to be honest I never thought I would get here.   Now for why I hate insurance companies, after this grueling treatment, the hell I went through, the amount of money my insurance company and I spent, they have made the most ridiculous decision I have ever heard of.  This isn't the first time they did something like this, but what they are doing now puts even more fear into me than anything before.  When I was going through my radiation treatment at the University of PA, my doctor who was the director of the radiation department there as well as everyone else I seen recommended that we use proton therapy instead of regular radiation therapy just around my brain and eye and use regular radiation everywhere else.  The insurance company refused this saying it was experimental, and after fighting it forever I gave up, but was lucky enough to have the VA.  Since I am a veteran (served 12 years) and most recently came off of active duty when I served in Iraq in December of 2009, I was eligible for VA coverage for 5 years from that date.  The VA agreed to pay for my proton radiation at the University of PA, but in the long run they just did it around my brain anyway and still blasted my eye.    Well anyways to the reason I hate insurance companies, it has been a while since I had a full-body pet-scan and I was told I needed them every 6 months for 10 years (every 3 months in the beginning).  The thing about my cancer is that it is so aggressive so it could come back and spread rapidly.  In others with advanced stage cancer of my type they have had long fights where it came back and they had to keep fighting it.   Well the insurance company refused to pay for the scan.  They said they believe they should only have to CT my head and neck where the cancer was originally found.  And although this is against what every single medical doctor says I can't change their policies.  The problem now is if I just accept this, and if my cancer comes back below my neck, I'll be dead before I even know I have it.  This is just absolutely ridiculous and I feel helpless.  I can try to see if the VA will pick it up but I only have them for another year and a half (if my symptoms showed 6 months earlier they would have considered this a disability and covered me for life, but since they showed up a year and a half and not less than a year after I returned from Iraq they will never take responsibility, it's their policy).  I have my insurance from my wife, I could try and get it from my employer at open enrollment, but what if they won't cover it because they call it a pre-existing condition or like the other insurance company just don't cover it.  It really drives me crazy, because I see one of my surgeons every 2-3 weeks still and each time he bills out about 2000-2500 and they pay him like 600.  The scan would be around the same if not slightly more for an insurance company and only twice a year. I feel like going to the doctor everyday just to screw the insurance company over since I'm over my yearly out-of-pocket maximum it won't affect me monetarily.   It's just insanity and I don't know what to do because it's hard as hell to fight sense into an insurance company, but I can't spend the next 10 years with only scanning my head and neck and I can't afford to just pay for it myself.  The insurance company paid for everything, all my hospital visits, surgeries, treatments, it's like they rather not have it be found if I got cancer again.  I guess for them it would be cheaper that way if I just developed the disease it never is found and I die because they would have no more costs.  I am just extremely frustrated and don’t know what to do anymore. I fought like hell every day to get to where I’m at and I can’t even have confidence at all in the future. Has anyone else out there experienced the same feeling or have advice, I would appreciate it. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71833,0.htm chris067 Mon, 20 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT I haven't found any place where cancer patients REALLY express their true emotional feelings about what is going on in their lives..........  I have posted a few bland items about myself, but I really want to just vent!!!  I HATE what has happened to me!!!  I feel angry that so many people do the "charitable thing" like the walk for the cure, etc. - just wish I could be one of those lucky people that feel all "charitable" but didn't have to suffer with the "real" thing........ sorry, I get really P.O.'d at all the "goody two shoes" people out there - Lord I'm jaded!!!!!  None of them would want to be around "me" or be in my shoes...........Makes them feel all "good" about themselves.........I'm jealous.....my life is SSSSOOOO different, now (if, in fact I will continue to HAVE a life - who knows with CANCER?????) - constant fear!!!!  I HATE having a mutilated body....I HATE having permanent numbness and pain.....I HATE being bald.......I HATE putting on the "happy face"....I HATE everyone just wanting me to "get over it" and get "on with my life" like nothing happened - just be the same as you were..........nobody wants to listen - too scary - can't happen to them (Lord knows they can't have a "disease" like that!! - what did SHE do wrong - oh, yeah, must have been the weight or the estrogen therapy or "no pregnancies" or alcohol.....gotta be HER fault.......have to have done SOMETHING wrong - after all it doesn't run in her family!).  God I'm tired.......... After a year and a half of all this I just want it all to end......I want to go way back to before - life was easier and sweeter with much more promise, more to look FORWARD to!!!  I have never been so down and depressed in my life - even on mega meds - I just HATE everything........Will this ever end, or only when I die???  Nothing will ever be the same or life as good as "before" - how do I enjoy anything anymore, how do I live my life with "abandon" and joy, plan and hope for the future?????  (Who knows if I'll even HAVE a future???)  I HATE that I have to think of all these morbid things now.......I just want it all to go away.....I just HATE all the changes in my life, body, mind and soul....I just exist....for WHAT?? not sure.....  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,57871,0.htm sherlaud Sat, 23 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT Some background. I have been dealing with a low grade Chondrosarcoma in my right femur for the last year (well only the last month as it wasn't diagnosed).  As soon as I was diagnosed I was booked for surgery the next week.  Half of my femur was removed and replace with carbon steel. Last night I admit I broke down and confessed to my wife I didn't think I suffered enough to be considered a cancer survivor in that my surgery came so quickly when there are people out there that wait for a long time (or forever) to be relieved of the cancer.  She tells me I am not a cancer survivor yet as I still have to go through rehab etc to get back to walking and having some sort of normal life. I am not looking for sympathy, rather trying to convince myself that I have been through a lot and this should not be a competition I am just feeling a lot of guilt and feel lazy when it comes to the house work etc...I am a bit more mobile, but I get tired really easily and I hate myself at times that I cannot just suck it up and do something around the house for once instead of just going to the can and then laying back down on the couch to play video games etc. signed confused on where I stand  ps sorry on a lot of pain meds, so not everything that I type (i have been told) is very coherant http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71788,0.htm Draconus Fri, 17 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT Cancer survivors need more big dreams to aspire to.  I find little glimpses of The Land Of The Midnight Sun = Alaska (The biggest state with the tallest Mt.) INSPIRING.  An up close L@@K leaves those that experience it "Awestruck" and wanting more of it's fresh salty ocean winds, animals galore and adventursome people.  I would love to share my experiences of bouncing back from cancer ....that has enabled me to celebrate by making another trip to the great white north, AK = The Last Frontier.  Lets go fly a kite on a fijord where the Beluga whales (Sea Canaries) swim free!  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,68621,0.htm HummingGardener Thu, 11 Oct 2012 00:00:00 GMT Hi, my name is Penny, im 48 and was just diagnosed with essential thrombocythemia with possible polycythemia vera. My doctor has given me two drugs to choose from hydroxyurea and anagrelide. Its my choice because the majority of people diagnosed like this are 60+., so my doctor dosent really know what to do with me but he suggests anagrelide. If i take hydrea then i risk leukemia in later years. If i take anagrelide its my understanding which is not clear that i risk blood clots. Is there anyone around my age group on either of these meds. I would appreciate any experiences or information on either drug so i may be able to choose more apropriately for my condition. thanks for responses in advance and God Bless All of you !  Chins Up!! http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,26409,0.htm sugarbear Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT i think if my auto stem cell trnsplnt dont take I wont get a second w/ my brothers cells...  what about U? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,69751,0.htm lithiumdaze Tue, 01 Jan 2013 00:00:00 GMT I had AML, M1, type 2 and a Bone Marrow Transplant in January 2012. I have been looking for a group or groups of people to talk to about the BMT/Cancer process, and I have had little luck finding anyone. If you have gone through the process, you know both the physcial pain and emotional pain that comes with the ordeal. Does anyone have suggestions? And please, no church/god/thank god for survival stuff, not my path- I am more into meditation, etc. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71440,0.htm overland_travel Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT Hi, my name is patty......i was diagnosed with uterine and ovarian cancer in march....the uterine was stage 1a...and was removed with no complications...when pathology got my report...they found clear cell carcinoma in my ovary...stage 1c....i ws having a hard time dealing with it...i took 3 rounds of chemo for it...and now have not had chemo for 5 weeks...they wanted me to have 6...but felt the drugs were too toxic for me...and felt 3 would be enough due to the fact it was in a low stage...i have turned into a nervous wreck...im on ativan now daily....and i have this feeling all the time..of derealization...if anyone is familiar..i dont feel like its me..im foggy....i cry all the time...im depressed alot....i thought i was getting better...and snap...its starting again...i just feel like ill never be me again...i have not gotten one answer of how long chemo remains in your body...and fatigue...how long ill feel like this....and i am not happy im on ativan...tried weening off...and found i still need it...i walk around all day in a fog...now im having abdominal pain...scared...right away i think mycancer is back...and next week...i get my first body scan since chemo...and im petrified..... http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,68168,0.htm Patty1018 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 00:00:00 GMT Hello, My name is Randy.  February of this year I was dxed with GBM IV . . . probably the absolute worse form of brain cancer.  Without treatment, three months, with treatment . . . two years is a number I'd heard.  I'd also heard there were no long term survivors (I found some, though, going back as far as 1987, when the Internet was still in its infancy, and I've heard there other survivors from even longer.  How they did it is up for personal interpretation -- location of tumor, size, advancement, treatment). I had surgery approximately three days after detection and went home three days following.  Then I began proton radiation (had that for 33 days, except for weekends), and also oral Temodar, beginning with 140 mg, then boosting to 300 mg and finally 400 mg; I just finished the final dose (and, God willing, the last) a week ago Friday.  I've had two MRIs since beginning treatment, one in late June, the other in late September ;both times there was no evidence of recurrence or residual cancer.  I realize (and caution people) that this in no way shape or form means that I've been victorious, but the doctors did go from telling me "when it comes back" to saying "if it comes back", so I'll take that as a good omen.  Barring further complications, I'm planning on returning to my job in January . . . 11 months after taking a week off "to rest up because I've been so tired lately".  Now of course I know why that was going on. So . . . at least for the time being, things seem to be looking up for me.  I can't help but wonder how I got so "fortunate", if the words still holds meaning for someone who has brain cancer.  I've read about people who are suffering massives headaches (I still have minor ones from time to time, courtesy of the Temodar; I don't even take a painkiller for them).  I'm able to walk around (I've been using our treadmill); I haven't been sleeping a lot (I usually rack out around ten, get up around six or so); my long term is pretty good, my short term memory is a tad spotty, but that is also probably from the Temodar, which I was on for over seven months.  My legs are still achy from the Temodar as well, though I can tell I'm getting better. So I'm wondering how I got so "lucky" and other people haven't?  I know I should be counting my blessings, but I can't help but feel bad for those who have been less fortunate than I.       http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,69224,0.htm Randy1958 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 00:00:00 GMT So many sad stories and ways of life with cancer I know I'm four years out and I fight everyday...but cancers a word people not a sentence.it comes with pain and suffering but can we get back to life and not focus on the disease..pray for a cure and move on...How was ur day...hope all is well?..Be blessed http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,67974,0.htm Kimbabeingbless Sat, 01 Sep 2012 00:00:00 GMT hello im a 31 yr old male with myelofibrosis and i just got out of the hospital again with low blood counts, ill be going to minnesota mayo clinic in march can anybody tell me what to expect as far as treatment and me being this young.                                                                                  thanks                                                                                 josh  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,32182,0.htm joshua4jesus Fri, 16 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT  i started this because there was no way to respond to the other discussion.    MOST DEFINITELY  I WOUKD AND DID.  My husband died of a massive heart attack the night of my first chemo treatment.  Perhaps the stress of what lay ahead for me was to much for him. we had been married 40 happy happy years.  It was a rush decision and the quick cremation and burial cost more than it should have.  Knowing i was diagnosed with stage 4 b.c. i wanted it to be easier on my children.  I called around and found i could have the basic same service for 2000.00 less from another funeral director.  I made appointment, we picked out everything we could and it is paid for no burden for my children.  the money is in a cd at a local bank unrevokable so it will be there.  I didn't exclude the kids entirely.  they can pick the flowers and the music.  but all is paid for.  there is enough to deal with without them dealing with this also.  and i am proud i did that.   http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71129,0.htm pipperpain Sat, 30 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT My name is Mary Ybarra, and I am a senior Psychology major at St. Martin's University in Lacey, WA. I am also a two-time cancer survivor, and I am doing my senior thesis on the needs of cancer patients.  My supervising academic advisor is Dr. Sheila Steiner, Department Chair, Psychology, St. Martin's University. I am asking for current and former cancer patients to participate in an on-line survey, to be completed voluntarily through Survey Monkey.  In addition, participants will have the option of volunteering to take part in a brief in-person interview. The IRB here at St. Martin's has approved the project. Each of the assessment tools have been used in many other studies. We have made so much progress, both medically and in meeting other needs of patients and their families, I think studies like this are an important step in that continued journey! I am asking to have the link to the survey made available to patients, so they can voluntarily go on-line and complete the survey. The survey is completely anonymous and patients’ names or other identifying information will not be collected. For those who agree to be interviewed, they will be signing an informed consent. I have put several months into research and preparing which instruments to use, and I am really looking forward to the project. The link to the survey is: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BTMC37H Sincerely, Mary  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70874,0.htm Tribble64 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT I've never posted in one of these threads before, and just reading other peoples' experiences has given me strength. I'm 18 years old, and I'm a freshman in college. 9 months ago my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I would do anything, absolutely anything to help her. The helplessness I feel is overwhelming sometimes.  The doctors are optimistic for my mom. But it's cancer. You never know. My senior year of high school, one of my favorite teachers ever passed away from cancer. She kept teaching us up until it was physically impossible for her. I watched someone that I care about deteriorate, and someday I'm going to have to watch the person I love the most go down that same road. And frankly, I'm not strong enough for that. The day of my teacher's funeral, I went to the funeral and my mom went to a doctors appointment. That was the day my mom was diagnosed.  I want my mom around because I want to be able to hug her and tell her how much I love her everyday. I want to be able to pick up a phone and call her for advice or just to hear her voice. She deserves all the time in the world. She deserves the time to travel. She deserves to have the experience of being a grandmother and watching her own children grow up. She deserves to spend many, many more years with my father. I just don't understand why this happened to her of all people. She's always had such a great appreciation for nature, science, learning, and just life in general!   I've only told a few people at my college about it. Once in a while, I talk to them briefly about it, but they don't understand and I don't want to burden them. So I feel alone, I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to go home. I want my mom to be okay. I'd give anything.  Anyways, the main point of this is, when my mom was on chemo, for some reason, I was more optimistic than I am now. The chemo was killing the cancerous cells. She finished 12 rounds of chemo a few months ago. If the cancer is going to come back, it will come back now. I'm finding it more and more difficult to focus in class. This is always on my mind, and I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for...I don't know, living in the present. Learning to take one day at a time. Thanks for listening/reading. I realize this has all been one long rant, but it feels good to finally let it out.  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70620,0.htm jo2210 Sun, 24 Feb 2013 00:00:00 GMT Has anyone experienced this since the loss of their spouse I have lost so much and it's not my imagination my daughter is a hairdresser and she told me I notice it more and more its been six months since the love of my life left me after being ravished by lung cancer non small cell http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70412,0.htm Paminnewbury Sat, 09 Feb 2013 00:00:00 GMT Hello I have been diagnosed with Essential Thrombocytosis. My Hemotologist did not have a brochure on it and we talked about me going on line. I think I went into a trance when he gave me the diagnosis..Is Essential Thrombocytosis the same as Essential Thrombocythenia? After reviewing the articles on-line I have many questions. One article that I read stated that Essential thrombocythemia ia a chronic form of leukemia, is this true? I am 52, 5'1, and weigh 119 lbs., have high blood pressure, high collesterol, and ET adds more risk for me to have a stroke or heart attack. Sorry if this seems disjointed but, that is how I am feeling now. Any comments would be appreciated, thank you http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,2176,0.htm Ms_Marcie Wed, 01 Jun 2005 00:00:00 GMT Hi, My dad was diagnosed with myelofibrosis, he is 80 years old and is feeling very depressed after seeing the word cancer all around his google's searches. My question is what abt his daily life? He uses to go everywhere and to do everything and is not willing to stop. I am just afraid of having him envolved in a car accident or something similar making his life even shorter than it is supposed to be. I thank you in advance for your support. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70103,0.htm joesolar Mon, 21 Jan 2013 00:00:00 GMT Often, people who are old or terminally ill don't want to leave this burden to their loved ones and sometimes they would just like the opportunity to celebrate life rather than mourn death.We see this act as a celebration of life and we think it should be as personal and unique to each individual as possible.We are making a TV documentary about people who are planning their own funeral so if you have any ideas of how you would like to plan yours we would love to hear them.Please email: alice.smith @wide-eyedentertainment.com http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,69931,0.htm wideeyedalice Fri, 11 Jan 2013 00:00:00 GMT My brother was diagnosed last year with a GIST tumor deep in his stomach.  He went through the surgery to remove it.  No medications were given other than antibiotics and pain meds once he left the hospital.  He had his 6 month PET scan and all was clear.  Now the results of the second 6 month PET scan and he has metastatic liver cancer, soft cell sarcoma.  Dr. said not operable due to number of lesions.  He goes for biopsy in 1 week.      I have tried to explain seriousness to his wife and children (they are all grown).  I have tried to push for them to contact a specialist in the field of GIST/Sarcoma.  I have tried to let them understand time is of the essence.        I'm so angry that they just seem to be waiting for either everything to be OK or everything to end without doing anything in between.  They get angry with me when I try to steer them on course to what needs to be done.  Like I'm butting in or blaming them or something.        This is my BROTHER!  He needs someone to help him find a doctor that will put him on the right medications NOW.  He was never put on Gleevac and it appears that he should have been, that it may have stopped or slowed down the mets to the liver.      What am I supposed to do?  Do I just take over and start making appointments and insurance questions and doctor visits with him?  I am at my wits end and have no more patience for any of them because they are acting so stupidly.  I have names and numbers for the specialists, I need the insurance info to see if they are covered to see them, it's like trying to pull teeth!  What can I do to get them in gear to help?      Please let me know your thoughts and if you have dealt with this.   http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,66621,0.htm soangry Sat, 09 Jun 2012 00:00:00 GMT All day everyday its like im slipping down hill. i really dont enjoy anything any more im nearly as strong as i once was my bodys never going to be the same as it was... my staminas shot my minds messed up and im only 22... like this is a joke When i was 18 i started gettin this pretty bad back pain... in the middle and lower back i didnt really give it much notice until it was a couple weeks of constant pain so i went to a doctor and told them i didnt get no xrays or anything just muscle relaxers and no real reason for why my back hurt. prolly because i was doing to much and it would all get better with time... well as you can imagine it just got worse and worse dr apoint ment after dr apointment and a few er visits later i was lying on the floor of my grandparents house with my grandfather laying up stairs in his bed dying of stage 4 lung cancer... he was the strongest man i have ever met and i couldnt even bring my self to really sit with him like i once did when i was younger... i was still all caught up in my i know everything attitude and nothing can hurt me. he passed away early january this eventully made me find a new doctor and thank good this one listened to me... eventully after one of the tests and ultra sound of my lower abdomine which turned into 3 hours the next day i was in the U OF A the biggest hospital here in edmonton a urologist told me i had cancer and if i couldnt get a bed tonight i would be going to the cross cancer tomorow this is were i stayed for over half a year gettin pumped up with stage 3 - 4 and eventully 5 chemo therapy just tearing the crap out of me... later in december i got a 18 hour surgery and woke up the news i had a 7 pound tumor in my abdomine which was pressing on my kidneys suppreseed my aorta and wraped its self in and around everything.. i guess i should be happy it didnt evade anything els considering it came from testicular cancer.. yeah i lost my left testical as well... I KNOW I SHOULD FEEL HAPPY but honestly its almost as if i feel worse then i did at my very worst... the same doctor who i went to who listened to me made me feel really good when i was gettin better after surgery and i was recovering really well considering i couldnt even really walk for a week after it... it got to the point when i told him i was still in pain and i couldnt drop off more of my pain medication it was like he was disapointed and i alwasy had this thing where i felt really really wierd if i disapointed som1 so i was never really honest after that point about my progess.. i didnt break no consitiution or anything like that but i wasnt 100 percent honest because i didnt want him to feel like he failed me.. which he didnt he saved my life... any way now im in the pain clinic and done 2 or 3 classes about learingin to deal with chronic pain and what not and im bloody 22... like what am i going to do with my life... im in pain all the time im depressed all the time nothin makes me happy really and im just watching the world spin around me... i dont even really what els to say i feel like i have a million pages i want to say but i dont kno exactly how to say it... its like i moved to a diffrent planet and i dont know anything... Im sorry for the rant... i dont even know http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,69229,0.htm nosepress Tue, 20 Nov 2012 00:00:00 GMT LYNELLE Human Hair wigs are made of 100% high quality European and Asian human hair.100% HUMAN HAIR For the most natural look, the ultimate choice is LYNELLE Human Hair wig. It can be styled, cut, permed or colored by a salon professional to suit your desired look. Human Hair wigs are more durable than kanekalon wigs, thus they cost more. They last for several years with proper care, maintenance, handling and storage. You may use heated rollers, blowdryers , straightening and curling irons, styling products and hair sprays. And just like any human hair, perspiration, excessive heat of styling tools and humid days can cause human hair of the wig to frizz. 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You can order and pay online thru http://lynellehair.multiply.com " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://lynellehair.multiply.com Please contact Ms.Aki " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Ms.Aki for stock availability and reservation. Ms.Aki " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Ms.Aki TurlaLynelleHair FashionTel:(02)334-411209166937889(GLOBE) / 09219794715(SMART) / 09224527557(SUN)YM:lynellehair@ymail.comwww.lynellehair.com www.lynellehair.tumblr.com www.hairextensionsphilippines.blogspot.com www.lynellehair.multiply.com www.facebook.com /hairextensionsphilippines   http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,69061,0.htm lynellehair Thu, 08 Nov 2012 00:00:00 GMT Well Its Getting To Be That Time That My Father Will Leave And Go "Home" To Be With God, My Grandpa, &Great Grandpa. Its Been Almost 4 Days Since He Got The News About His Iminate "Soon" Passing Due To Loss Of Blood Flow In His Brain. Well I Have Been Laying In Bed Crying For The Last Few Days I Have Not Even Went To Work Or School. It Really Bothers Me Because I Can Not Get To Him "& Make Him Feel Better", I Have Not Seen Him Since March (I Live In A Diffrent State And Almost 7 Hours Away, Go To College, Have A Job, & Dealing With My Husband Being Overseas) Which Makes Me Feel Like Such A Horrible Daughter Because Of The Laps In Time Of Seeing Him! :( Before I Got Married I Seen Him Every Other Weekend. & Now It Has Been 6 Almost 7 Months Since I Have Seen Or Hugged Him... I Kinda feel Like Im Letting Him Down And Not Being There For Him Enough, Even Though I Talk TO HIm Every Night, I Feel Like I Could Do More If I Was Not In School, And Did Not Have A Job, But I Cant Just Leave Here Either Because If My Hubby Being Gone & Incase Something Happened To Him (My Hubby) I Would Need To Be Here :'(  All Of This Makes Me Feel Like Such A Horrible Person/Wife/Daughter!!!  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,68457,0.htm mrs.rathe Sat, 29 Sep 2012 00:00:00 GMT So it's going on five years and I am blessed to be cancer free..I'm scared as hell most days every pain is cancer, to me I worry so much...so I decided to spend more time on a Bucket list..things that matter thing I want to do...Crazy I started with people, not that they care about me but...Once I said I had cancer they ran...family and all.. So at the top of my list was my best freind of 20 years ,my sister...I was woman enough to step up and say...I'm here still living why did y'all forget about me...I apologize for being mad..that I lost my mind..when the dr told me he was taking my breast I was Mad I pushed everyone away and they didn't have a problem going....they took it as me being evil and mean..how dare them ...anyway I'm making a mense cause God has called me too.their is life after Cancer...Be Blessed have a great weekend ... http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,68453,0.htm Kimbabeingbless Sat, 29 Sep 2012 00:00:00 GMT After her 41st B-Day in February of this year, my wife went to her RA specialist to ask about some pain she was experiencing in her arm. She had a cortisone shot but it only worked for a couple of days. She was also experiencing a lot of fatigue to go along with the pain. We were concerned but figured she was having some form of RA symptoms. She had also been coughing since Thanksgiving of 2011, but she had just gotten over a sinus infection so we didn't think anything of it. In March, my wife got an X-Ray from her RA specialist due to that pain she was experiencing in her right arm and back. Her cough was getting worse as well. Her RA specialist left a worried message for us on the answering machine asking her to come in the next day and to bring me along. It is a moment that I will never forget. A doctor calling on a Sunday after returning from vacation? This couldn't be good news. Sometimes I really hate it when I am right. It turned out to be cancer in her lungs and not an RA related issue. When she went in to do the biopsy, my mother's heart sank when she heard the words, "We won't need to go into the lung. She has a mass on her right side." They determined fairly quickly that the cancer was not lung cancer and our hearts sank. She was likely in stage four. Our oncologist told us it was likely to be a terminal Sarcoma or other aggressive soft tissue cancer since the initial tests weren't showing an organ as the point of origin. It was more than three weeks of sleepless nights and stressful days before the answer finally came back fromSan Franciscoto our local oncologist: Sarcoma - most likely MPNST. We had no idea what Sarcoma was let alone MPNST. We've since learned far more about Sarcoma than we ever wanted to and the difficulties in treating metastatic MPNST - one of the rarest forms of cancer. Our local oncologist had seen one case of this kind in his thirty years of practice. He referred us toStanfordMedicalCenterand their Sarcoma specialists for a second opinion and the chance of getting into a phase III clinical trial of the latest chemotherapy. My wife got into the trial and we tried to remain hopeful that treatment would be effective even though the chances were only around 10-40 percent. Here we are now some three months later. The treatments were completely ineffective and her tumors have grown twenty percent, also spreading to the liver and into the bone. The doctors estimate that given the current growth rate, my wife will pass away in approximately six months. Her only alternative would be an older form of chemo that would require long hospital stays and provide a minimal chance of success (if any) to go along with all the side effects. My wife has opted for a quality of life path, with Hospice Care once the situation warrants it. She wants to try and enjoy the time she has left with family and friends. She wants us to enjoy life together. I respect her choice, even if it is hard for me to accept. She is not afraid of what is to come. She has a great deal of faith in God and a belief in something more beyond the mortal coil. She is actually more concerned about what this is doing to me. Here she is suffering every day with a cough, pain, and fatigue and she is worried about me? Isn't that amazing? It blows my mind. I'm a train wreck of emotions right now. I've never faced anything more difficult than this. I'm afraid of what is to come. I'm afraid of going on without her. She is the love of my life. And I am so powerless to cure this monster inside of her. I feel helpless and depressed. While I remain strong for her when we are together, I cry when I find myself alone or driving in the car without her. I dread how difficult this will be in the coming months, even though I am dedicated to make sure she gets as much enjoyment as she possibly can. My wife is such a sweet woman and my best friend. I've asked myself "Why her? Why now? Why anyone?" about a thousand times since that diagnosis even though I know I will never get the answer. Even our medical professionals have no idea why people get these rarest of cancers. Like a thunderbolt out of the clouds, this has changed our life in almost every way - accept in how much we love and appreciate each other. I just had to share. I surely sympathize with all of you that have faced this kind of situation or have lost loved ones. I truly hope all cancers can be cured some day. I just hope that I am strong enough to endure the road ahead and to be able to cope with all of this.     http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,67554,0.htm PaladinCA Wed, 08 Aug 2012 00:00:00 GMT