Our online cancer forum resources at CancerCompass.com are a supportive and encouraging place to find information and connect with other cancer patients and their loved ones. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/after-treatment/emotional/1,0,120,78.htm Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Hi everyone,im new to the  cancercompass site.i was diagnose with anal cancer june 2nd 2009.i finished chemotherapy and radiation in august.tomorr ow i will be having a colostomy.i asking for all prayers .thank's to everyone.T_1959. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,41036,0.htm T1959 Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT would love to talk to otherd. I have brain cancer(cns lymphoma}  LUlu5 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,41001,0.htm lulu5 Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT Hi all,My name is Milly. I have decided to join and share our journey, need to share with someone who is going through this. As many of you know there is only so much you can tell the spouse and family. How do you say I,m tired of this I want it to go away without making it sound like you dont want to do what you should. Those of you who need to say that will understand. Anyway I dont mean I dont care I'm just tired. I will not let him know how angry I am at the cancer, how dissappointed I am at the doc saying enjoy the holidays and you should make the best of it. He is my other half how do I except the fact that I will have to live life without him. I dont want to!!!!!!We have been battling this since 2001. Dave was stage IV when they found it, the old story where he ignored the symptoms too long.( I think sometimes I am angry with him for that.) Surgery was not an option at that point, it had already left the prostate. We have done well until recently. We have been through hormone therapy, tried genetherapy, chemo several times, still doing it weekly, and yes radiation. We no longer get to enjoy life much. It's all about gaining time now. I feel really selfish wishing we could just dance again, walk to the river with a glass of wine and watch the sunset, go look for the perfect antique for the old Victorian house we have worked on for years. I have to wonder why cant I just feel happy to have him beside me. I know it really doesn't make sense for me to be mad at myself for wanting the normal in life to come back. Sometimes we need to be selfish I suppose.                                                                      Milly http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40857,0.htm millyppl Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT I know that this is a touchy subject, but has anyone had difficulty with Hospice?  My mother is at my sister's house and my sister is not allowing any family members or friends to visit, (the police are called)  nor is my mother able to receive telephone calls.  (Her telephone message comes on as "memory full.")  The hospice social worker suggested family therapy, which 4 of 5 adult children attended, but when things did not go the way my sister wished, she refused to attend any further counseling sessions.  The hospice nurse and hospice social worker say that it is not within their perview to intervene in such matters.  Meanwhile my sister is frightening my mother by saying that we are going to kidnap her, that I am on "street drugs" (I am not, nor have I ever been. As soon as I learned that my sister was telling my mother this, I even went to the hospital and had a drug test to prove it.)  Calls to the Hospice Director are not returned.Where do we go from here? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40772,0.htm Eyriu Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT I am new to these boards. My doctor recommended I try something like this to deal with my prognosis. I was told last month that I have Stage IV Melanoma. This is not the first time I was diagnosed with melanoma, but this time it has come back and it does not seem to be stopping anytime. I am having a really hard time dealing with it this time around, especially with my family and friends. I am only 23. My prognosis is not good and I am debating what my next step should be. Since the doctor told me I have been carted around from one doctor, hospital to the next with test, surgeries, and more tests. My biggest struggle right now is how do I interact with my family and friends now? My parents are amazing and such strong people and I have some great friends supporting me, but I am not sure how to interact with them, because I am not sure if they are there out of pity and sympathy or if they are truly there. Its hard because I don't want to get too clingy, but I do need them there. I am not sure how to deal with them, especially with my best friend/ roommate. I am getting more and more frustrated with her and myself because we are dealing with it in two different ways and I just want to be on the same page as her. Help? Can anyone give me some insight how they have dealt with it either as a patient or as a friend?Thanks!J http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40616,0.htm julia4 Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT Hi,I live in Toronto, Canada.  I had a breast cancer last year, stage 3, had chemotherapy, surgery, radiation.  Returned back to work, but my position was closed, and I am without job now.  My husband passed away a long ago, and our friends moved to Europe. I had a boyfriend who left me for another woman after I lost job, and I feel extremely lonely and lost.Maybe you could connect me with another cancer survivors in Toronto who are alone also, women or men, does not matter, because I just cannot stand it any more being alone, and I do not know what to do.  I do not drive, and use only TTC, please connect me with people or group where I could get by TTC, just not to feel so terrible lonely! I do not need a psychiatric help, I need friends!Thank you!Lina http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40620,0.htm nadezda Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT reading your message...well...I am so sorry to hear this...I KNOW what you are going through...too wellMy Mom got diagnosed with bone marrow cancer last year. three weeks ago my father got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. It has also spread to his liver and throat..and he has lost about 10 lbs in a month. He is still smoking....I also have only one brother...who actually was missing for the past 11 years until he showed back up literally one month ago, a week before my dad found out about the cancer. (THIS is the only thing that makes me beilive in anything right now). My brother is living with them, I live about an hour away...My brother also is heavily drinking. Im very worried about him.I am very scared about the year to come...My mom is somewhat healthy right now...but if she has to see her husband die...Im so scared she will go after. ...I feel so alone, being  only 28 with both parents having cancer. I dont really know my brother anymore...so that is hard as well because IM scared he will leave again. Its so hard,...I feel like I am still in shock..Im mad...and I cant keep worrying about everyone. I also just got my dream job.....Its a once in a lifetime opportunity...that I cannot give up...but I do not get to go home alot...I dont know what to do. ~Jordan  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40622,0.htm jordancat Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT Mom mother survived a 20% chance of death from squamish cell cancer. It was horrible and but she is very strong. She was given 6 months with three months either way. This was 3 years ago. She is still with us but her fight was in vain as the quality of her life has changed dramatically. She is now experincing ulcers on her skin in her mouth a hole in her face from radiation and is in terrible pain but she will not give up. She is my mentor, my best friend and my mother. She hurts so much and so do I. I have just turned 50 and have my own issues but as the sole care giver to two senior parents 87 and 84 both with cancer, I often find myself very sad and angry.My message is thank you as I found your website and found that my plight is unfortunately not unique. If anything there are many of us dealing with the same issues. I think my mother is dying and will not make it this time. I am terrified and would like to talk to any one who cares to spend the time. Trying to be strong need help.Thanks    http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40590,0.htm storm111 Sun, 11 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT my stomach looks like i am 5 months pregnant....lower back pain .gastorologist says its gyn problem gynocologists says ibs i know its not.help!!!!!!! http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40502,0.htm janellb67 Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT This is my first time to this site or any saite dealing with grief and loss of a loved one. At easter this year 2009, my Mom was fine and healthy. My sister visited from Aus and we had a great time, full of laughter. Middle of April 2009 my mom started getting confused with occasional words, she would lose the thread of the conversation. My sister and I worried about this but as she was back over seas it fell to me to try find out what was going on. I took mom to the GP, who did some standard blood tests, and vague examination and informed me that my mom was fine and that these things happened as one ages. She was 69. A week later it was worse, I was constantly being called by the dog's name. (Ok, it was her favourite dog, but never the less I was worried) I made an appointment with a nearologist. He examined my Mom and told us that she was slightly depresses and should take her to a psychologist. A week later she was very bad, I was still being called by the dogs name and she battled to complete sentances. I called the neurologist back and told him he had to run more tests, this was unacceptable. He eventually agreed to admit her to hospital and did scans etc. I was in the hospital all day every day with my mom. When the results came back with a yellow sticker on them I knew there was a problem. I asked the nurse for the results and she refused to give them to me as only th edoctor could and he would only be back th enext day. I shouted, yelled and acted badly until she called the doctor and gave him the results over the phone. He then spoke to me and told me that my Mom had lung cancer that had spread to the brain. Ten minutes later my father and brother arrived for visiting hours. We sat and chatted and laughed and I pretended nothing was wrong. At the end of visiting hours, I told my mom  I was just walking dad out and would be back soon. As we walked out I asked them to come into the family room so we could talk. I had to give them both the news that mom was dying. I thought it would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. They left in a daze and I had to call my sister and tell her the news. The family was devestated. Over the next two months, through many hospital stays which meant me spending 10 to 15 hours a day in the hospitals, and through radiation treatement and many other secondary infections, my mom got weaker and weaker, the final straw being her first chemo treatment. My sister made two trips out to spend time with my mom. The day after she left on her last trip, my mom developed a urinary infection. She was too weak to walk and so I carried her to the bath and bathed and dressed her. She was unhappy and kept saying it was wrong that I was doing this for her. I left about eight that night telling my dad to call if he needed me. He phoned at six th enext morning, mom was bad and would not go to hospital until I was there. I flew, did not care about th espeed limit or anything else. Arrived at their home and bundled mom into the car to go to the hospital. She could barely breathe, every breathe was a rattling in her chest. Once at emergency, the did all the basics and the consulting doctor said it was just phlegm in her throat, we all took a deep breath. Dad decided to go home to organise some things whilst I stayed with mom until she was settled in ICU. The resident physician eventually arrived, examined mom and then told me she had a few hours left to live and did I want to give a resucitation order. I could not believe it. I gave a DNR and said I would be back in half an hour as I needed to go fetch my dad and give him the news. As I drove to my parents house I called my brother and told him to get there immediately. When we were all there I had to tell them that mom was dying and that I had given a DNR order and that we needed to go back to the hospital. The silence was awful, this was the abolute worst moment in my life. Back we went and sat with my mom as she died. Every few minutes the horrible machines would scream and flash lights, and we did not know if she was alive or not. After about an hour, the machines did their horrible screaming for the last time and my mom was dead. I watched my dad break down, begging her not to go, pleading with her to come back, crying and pleading. It will be three months on friday since she died, and on the same day would have been their 46th wedding anniversary. My dad now has more good days than bad and is slowly putting his life back together.I can only cry. I dont want to work, I dont want to go anywhere, I dont want to exist. I have been fairly ok until now but in the last month I just can not accept that my mom is dead. I dont know what to do. She was always there for me, she always knew what I was feeling and always had advice. I wish that she was still here so that I could tell her that I never knew how important she was to me until she was gone.I miss her so much and regret every bad thought I have ever had about her in the last 38 years.If you still have your parents, love them, appreciate them and enjoy them. Five months ago my mom was perfectly well, and now she is no more.Never under appreciate the people who loveyou, please. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40443,0.htm tashaS Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT Hi everyone, My name is Emily Ward and I work with the Canadian Cancer Society.  As part of our new "Join the Fight!" movement we are asking those who have been affected by cancer what they would say if cancer was standing right in front of them.  I hope you will share your thoughts.For inspiration, we have posted a few videos on our website www.fightback.ca.  You can also see what others have said on our Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/CanadianCancerSociety?ref  Thanks in advance for your honest responses. Best, Emily   http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40444,0.htm Emily123 Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT This poem was written by my mother for my husband while was battleing  stage 4 tonsil cancer, and it gave us both strength.  Hopefully it will help others.         "  "MALIGNANT"  Like a thief in the night, you came and halted my life.  But suddenly my faith I regained, and my heart had not changed.  I was still in control of my own soul.  Can't you see, my plans ahead of me are all about my family.  So take the pain and hurt away you tried to give me on this day.  For God will keep me in his care, so you can't enter anywhere .                                                                  My mom is not a poet but cancer has such a profound affect on the whole family that she felt these words come to her. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40343,0.htm janies Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT My husband found out tonight that his mother has lung cancer. Now I know that for most people this would be an obvious answer but let me explain why it isn't. 3 years ago Mat (my husband) and his mother had a falling out. She told him he was worthless and that she wished she had never given birth to him. There has been no contact between them since that time. My husband was devistated at the time but with counseling and the support of his friends and my family he has come to realize he doesn't need her. Now that he is getting back on his feet and becoming the confident man and wonderful father that he used to be, he gets hit with this. He is very confused about whether he should call her or wait for her to call him. He loves his mother no matter what she has said to him but I'm not sure we (our children and I) can handle the depression he endured after the last blow up again.  His mother will not survive the lung cancer. She has COPD, asthma, smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day and already wears oxygen. She has been intubated from COPD exacerbations twice and she is only 62. She has high blood pressure, diabetes, acid reflux, and mental disorders. My questions to put out to this group are:Should he contact her or wait for her to contact him?Would his presence make her treatments more successful or hinder her progress?Most importantly to me, Do you think Mat talking to his mother will help him have less guilt when she passes? (He still has a lot of guilt about walking away from her and not continuing to support her anymore.)  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40319,0.htm applejacks Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT On 3/09/07 I had whipple surgery at Johns Hopkins.  Had a tumor on the head of my pancreas.  Didn't know going into surgery if it was cancerous or not.  Fortunately, it turned out to be benign.  Recovery was long & slow (months)  As others have indicated, I, too, have had the so called whipple pain.  Their descriptions of the pain are pretty much exactly like mine.  Upon inquiring with both my surgeon & gasteronology Doctors, they don't have an explanation as to what the pain is.  I have 2 questions for patients of whipple surgery.  (1)  Has anyone had elevated LIPASE counts.  Two months ago my count was 91.  Had it checked one month later and it continued to rise. It is now 146.  (2)  Has anyone found that there are particular foods or a combination of foods that bother you?  And what is your reaction?  I many get sick for a whole day or two but I can't quite figure out exactly what triggers it.  If anyone can shed any light on these two issues, I'd appreciate your comments.  Thank You, Joe  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40206,0.htm Joseph_Senior Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT On 3/09/07 I had whipple surgery at Johns Hopkins.  Had a tumor on the head of my pancreas.  Didn't know going into surgery if it was cancerous or not.  Fortunately, it turned out to be benign.  Recovery was long & slow (months)  As others have indicated, I, too, have had the so called whipple pain.  Their descriptions of the pain are pretty much exactly like mine.  Upon inquiring with both my surgeon & gasteronology Doctors, they don't have an explanation as to what the pain is.  I have 2 questions for patients of whipple surgery.  (1)  Has anyone had elevated LIPASE counts.  Two months ago my count was 91.  Had it checked one month later and it continued to rise. It is now 146.  (2)  Has anyone found that there are particular foods or a combination of foods that bother you?  And what is your reaction?  I many get sick for a whole day or two but I can't quite figure out exactly what triggers it.  If anyone can shed any light on these two issues, I'd appreciate your comments.  Thank You, Joe  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40187,0.htm Joseph_Senior Sun, 27 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT I don'teven know how to start this message, kinda nervous to send a message,I have previously to a site(not this one) and had no reply,unless i don't know what i'm doing(and thats so possible latley)  i don't know if i will be doing this right and my message will send so just briefly explain about three months ago i noticed the tip of my collar bone on the right side was alot bigger than the left, looked some stuff up on line went to a doctor(at a walk in clinic) i only have o.b dr. havent seen in few yrs. So the insta care Dr did an x-ray said the bone looked fine didn't know why it was there & its nothing to worry about.it doesn,t hurt but has gotten noticeably bigger. i've never had an injury to my collarbone this could be a result from,i just have not felt well last few months things like itchy armpits i have been working on loosing weight aprox 14 mon,but lost alot in just last 6-8 wks dont usually have allergies but sound sick sometimes sore but mostly just hoarse throatcough& off and on(i do smokethough) then probably not related but started getting real bad pains along my rib cage noticed swelling when it hurts.among other things. i'm just confused emotional and don't know what to do. sound stupid? anyone that  can offer anything please talk me i'm think im loosing my mind. figure of speach.but http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40141,0.htm nickandace Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer some years ago. I followed my doctors advice and now have a PSA too low to read without the use of hormones.I have always liked to exercise and have continued during my treatments, except for some time off after receiving 91 seeds in my prostate. I recommend some form of exercise, it helped me to cope with the emotional trauma and fatigue. It doesn't matter what form of exercise as long as you do something, it really worked for me by keeping depression at bay and as far as I can tell keeping my strength up.My program consisted of trikke riding, a human powered vehicle that uses all of your muscles, and weight training. I also drank whey protein drinks daily. What worked for me is not a cure all by any means and before any exercise is started a doctors advice should be given. But if your doctor gives you the go ahead, do it, you and your family will feel great. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,40111,0.htm Trikker Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT I have surgery Monday and today I am losing it.  I am so scared. I have colorectal cancer, was considered stage 4 before radiation which shrunk it considerably per surgeon, I had 6 weeks with Rad/Chemo.  I have been doing ok off and on with a few breakdowns but today ...... I am so lost and scared.  I don't want to hurt anymore.  See Severe joint pain and neurophy.  Today my anxiety is sky high and I have some discomfort in my chest.  I just need to cry and vent. I know there are thousands upon thousands who have gone through this but when it is you (me) Well you knonw what I mean, even my hot flashes are more intense, or seems so. I think I might die.  Does everyone go thru this?Please help!Peggy http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,39947,0.htm CAPeggy Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT I have surgery Monday and today I am losing it.  I am so scared. I have colorectal cancer, was considered stage 4 before radiation which shrunk it considerably per surgeon, I had 6 weeks with Rad/Chemo.  I have been doing ok off and on with a few breakdowns but today ...... I am so lost and scared.  I don't want to hurt anymore.  See Severe joint pain and neurophy.  Today my anxiety is sky high and I have some discomfort in my chest.  I just need to cry and vent. I know there are thousands upon thousands who have gone through this but when it is you (me) Well you knonw what I mean, even my hot flashes are more intense, or seems so. I think I might die.  Does everyone go thru this?Please help!Peggy http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,39950,0.htm CAPeggy Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT We found out saturday that my dads neck cancer has metastasized to his liver and now surgery for his neck isn't possible. We didn't tell him until today, as we didn't know how and had the doc meet us tonight and tell him. they indicated to us that this was basically the end of the fight and that they'll try using Eirbtux but more as a prolonging method more then a treatment/cure. Has anyone had this experience? He was in such a good mood finally himself (he's been in the hospital since friday because blood numbers were bad, hips atrophied, and having disorientation due to dehydration. (Sleeping all the time so not taking in enough liquids) He'd been smiling and joking and then she told him it moved to his liver. in all my life I never such saddness/anger/and disappointment on his face the way I did today. I don't know how to deal with my own saddness over this, but I want to help him not feel it either. Does anyone have any suggestions? How do we all live with this terrible sadness? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,39848,0.htm lilunder Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT I have been diagnosed with metases to the brain (breast cancer).  I have had radiation treatments(leison not operable).  Fifteen in April/May  and then  5 more treatments in Aug. I was able to work after the first 15 treatments but now after the 5 I've  tried to go back to work but found I am too tired and weak.  I am not use to being at home and find it most difficult to not go and do as I want but to depend on others for help.  I was told the radiation continues to work for 3-6months from the time you receive it so keeping positive and finding things to fill my time are important.  Any ideas on the day at home?? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,39749,0.htm 3lj57 Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT She walks over the cracked pavement The pupils of many sharpen to her mysticHer beauty is registered in the sharp toss of her glossed filled hairThe world spins on its axis at the tip of her fingerHer oblivion to a barbie paralled lifeIs taken away when she sees the reflection of a familiar strangerWhat used to be hangs over her , resting only in memories erased awayThe illusion of a leper is hidden under pink lips and rouged cheeksBarbie wipes her face ..takes off her wig and cant turn from the truthWhat used to be died with the day the disease overtook you Title:  There’s No Denying a Reflection http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,39762,0.htm heart413 Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT I was diagnosed with ET 2 years ago & have been on various combinations of hydrea and agrylin.  I wanted to answer the question about how long one stays in treatment.  My Doc says forever as there is no cure.  I am interested in chatting with ohter about their experiences.The bone marow testing is painful but the test can tell many helpful things about essential thrombocytosis & other more serious diseases. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,39701,0.htm judcarhop Wed, 09 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT hello,it's been awhile for me to be on the site. My husband kevin is a stage 4 colon cancer patient. he has had his colon, liver, and both lungs resection. his cea is now 1.9. we are very encouraged. he is 46,  he had a ctc circulating tumor test performed today and it is saposed to show if any cancer cells are going thru his body. the test takes about 2 weeks to return. has any one eles had this test and what did you think.  we were told it is rarely done. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,39587,0.htm tamrajd Fri, 04 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT well may 21 2009 at 5:45pm i lost the love of my life after a very heard fight of 7 months of hell and there never was a good day after we were told he had cancer i am very lost with out him aug was 20 wedding annaversary i spent the at were he loved to be fishing i just dont know were to go from here the house is going any one tell me how i can even think of going on why and why would i want to http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,39591,0.htm miss_melissa Fri, 04 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT