Whether you need help with a family member or a close friend, our online cancer forum at CancerCompass.com helps you connect online with others for valuable feedback, information and support. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/caregivers/support/1,0,122,84.htm Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ The great thing about these message boards is that you meet so many people who can relate to what you are going through. The hard part is when they lose their loved one.  I feel like lately, I've really connected with some great caregivers and recently many have lost their husbands.  It's so hard.  It's hard to see a friend go through this, you picture yourself going through this.  Then I wonder why God is bringing these people into my life.  To show me what is going to happen, to make me appreciate that my husband is still here, to give me a network of people who can relate to me when it's my time to go through this.  It's just another bag of mixed emotions.  My heart breaks for them and then it breaks for me knowing that this could happen to me at any time.  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71270,0.htm Glitzy1294 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT Hello- I believe my prostate cancer has matastasized. I saw my gp and urologist. The urologist is recommending hormone shots (Lupon Depot) to get the PSA down, which is very high in the low 20s. My gp is going to call today and let me know if I need to take another test or simply refer me to a cancer doctor.I also need to address two areas that showed up on the CAT scan that are probably cancerous. I know chemo is going to probably be a recommendation. I've been reading a lot about the Budwig protocol. I need to hear results concerning those using this protocol so I can make a decision. Thanks-Larry http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71748,0.htm larry-bonnie Tue, 14 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT Thanks for this page. I think I'll be coming on here a fair bit in the near future...Two months ago, my older sister found out that she had breast cancer - at exactly the same time that I was made redundant.  So I decided that it was a sign that I was supposed to help her (we are not very close personally and I thought that it was an opportunity to change this). So I put my life and jobsearch on hold and started to help her - this involved helping by doing 4 day long trade fairs away from home for her business, driving her to her specialist 5 hours away, basically anything and everything I could so to help. (I was being paid in any way for this). Three weeks ago, she had the double mastectomy and reconstruction and her new boyfriend came along too.  She had told me that she didn't feel that she could tell him that he couldn't come (I now think it was me that she couldn't tell).  So I ended up cooking and cleaning and generally being both of their maid for the time that we were away (10days), but I was just 'sucking it up' because I believed that I doing the 'right thing' by being there to help. Then she blew up at me one morning and spewed forth all this horrible stuff at me about how she was sick of me sponging off her and that I was only helping in order to be a martyr etc. I never retaliated, I just packed my bags and left and got a greyhound bus home. - Yes, I expected her to pay for my meals whilst I was away from home helping her - she has a very lucrative business and I am unemployed! I have done nothing to warrant being called a martyr, I was just doing what I would want her to do for me if I was in her shoes.I haven't seen her since and she has told my mother that I have remove the few pieces of furniture that I have stored in her garage. She has also started being really horrible to my mum now... she told her yesterday (Mother's day here) that she's looking for a now family because none of us care about her - completely untrue we all help as much as we can and only get criticism when we do help and are usually pushed away...She is due to start 12 months of chemo in the next few weeks and, whilst I feel really guilty that I'm not there to support her (I feel like a bad person for putting my own feeling first) but I just I don't feel like I'm in a happy enough position within myself to be her whipping boy to take her anger out on. I'm torn - half of me thinks I should be the bigger person because of what she's facing but the other half of me thinks I should keep my distance until she's prepared to talk and possibly even apologise for the mean things she said. What should I do? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71734,0.htm rollergirl007 Mon, 13 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT It's so strange, I've pushed for this move so that we can be closer to my family and friends and now I'm scared.  Go figure.  The stress has been crazy.  I think the deal is solid now but won't know for absolutely certain until Monday or Tuesday.  I started packing anyway and am ordering PODS next week.  My husband can't help and his pain is increasing.  He's a little weaker everyday.  We talk about building another house and I know that it may never happen. Let's see now......major stressors......selling a house, moving in with my mother temporarily(AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!), selling my mother's house, moving to another state, and oh....a terminally ill husband. The numbness wore off and I feel so guilty for feeling sorry for myself.  I'm sitting here crying and laughing at the same time because of Carolyn's weight loss and singing.  It's the only bright spot today. :)  Hugs, Kelly  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71721,0.htm KellyC Sun, 12 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT I go at times to a monastery close to my house to reflect and have alone time and walk the beautiful grounds to clear my mind. The monastery has a very primative cemetery where only fresh flowers are allowed. I bought a plot there for me ,my husband wants to be cremated and put in the pearl river. The cemetery is so simple I always make sure that is part of my walking path when I go to this glorious place. Well the other day it was close to dusk and I was walking pretty fast through the cemetery and trying to hurry because I always like to go to vespers where the monks chant in church before I leave. The monks chanting in this beautiful church is clearly a gift from God. I sit in a pew close my eyes and just take in their voices all so perfect. A very calming moment for me . I have been going to this Abbey for about fifteen years now. Ok so I am moving fast through cemetery when all of a sudden I run into an old friend I worked with years ago. He noticed me because I was so focused I believe I was looking down and I heard my name being called. So we talked some and laughed at past events that happened at work and before you knew it I was talking and LAUGHING and being a normal person again. Wow what a breath of fresh air!!!!! So I told him I must go because I would be late for chanting and he also told me he heard about my husband a couple of years ago being sick with cancer and he was sorry. With that he hugged me goodbye. He hugged me so tight ( I think) I could feel his large finger tips pressing in between my back ribs. Omg a HUG !!!!!! A great big bear hug ,warm and comforting. (I think). With that hug I just broke down and wept in his arms with my head down never looking up ,feeling overwhelmed. I said I am just so so TIRED ,he cupped his hands and held my face and said Carolyn it will be ok lifting my face as he talked to me I shook my head no back n forth and said ...no it won't be ok. As he continued to have his large fingers cupping both sides of my face he said again .....Carolyn you will be ok!!!!!! Omg a man touching my face so GENTLY.no way right???? I must be going crazy I thought as I hurried off , feeling really bad that I cried and put this friend in such a bad spot.......a long ago friend , a woman , crying breaking down......just what every man wants to deal with right? A weeping woman just what ALL men hate. All will hate what I will say next........ I have thought of and relived that moment over and over again. Why? Because I LIKED it. I felt real not robotic like a person a woman being handled ever so kind and gently. Something I have not felt in at least four years. I also have daydreamed of that moment going further. Ok calm down ladies ......I would not let that happen for real ,I am just saying it felt so good almost too good to be true. I think maybe I am being a drama queen and that I am over exaggerating but I know better. Ladies when was the last time we had our man hold us so tight and hold our faces and touch our tears as they stream down and say "it will be ok"!!!!! Cancer took all that away from me now I am "just a caregiver" period.....the end right? But let me say this for that moment I learned what God wanted me to know.....I am a woman and there will be life for me after my man dies. It gave me hope....Sad I know.....but I will take HOPE anyway I can get it these days. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71414,0.htm Carolynbmaes Sun, 21 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...sheesh I feel better now, man nothing like a good old scream........that was better than sex !!!!!!!! Wheew , I am out of breath now !!!!! http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71652,0.htm Carolynbmaes Wed, 08 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer back in November.  It is continuing to spread.  She has always been kind of naggy to my father but it has gotten so bad.  She seems to be sooooooooo mean to him.  Always yelling and screaming at him.  He also has issues with memory loss and she gets angry at that.  Can someone please let me know if they have dealt with that and "how" to deal with it. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71597,0.htm hollyn Thu, 02 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT I need some advice! My sister is undergoing chemo for breast cancer. About the same time she was diagnosis we started a family business venture, opening a grocery store. She has been in chemo since Dec.. She is very difficult to deal with, challenging every thing we say and every move we make. We decided her and her husbands Negative Nelly attitude is displaced fear and anger over the cancer and the unknown future. We agree the business is a great distraction for her and her family from the cancer and on going treatments. She started weekly treatments about 6 weeks ago and it has gotten worse. We have been very patient with her bad attitude and constant wrenches she try's to throw into our progress. We have tolerated her verbal attacks and not engaged with her. We are about 2 weeks from opening the doors and she is now trying to hold back our investment money to stock the shelves . Do we confront her on her actions and risk driving her into a deeper emotional state or do we start doing what needs to be done( contracts ect) without her knowledge input ( or more wrenches) and let the chips fall where they may? Her role is the accountant and a brother is the store business manager. Sis wants to control it all. She suddenly does not trust brother. She is the eldest of us siblings and has always been a bit of a controller......but now it is out of control. Brother is worried this business is going to cost him his relationship with his cancer sister. Any advice? Do we address her attitude and actions and tell her we cannot handle her uncooperative attitude ? Is it the chemo? The fear? Or is she just being herself ? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71690,0.htm Desertrose6 Fri, 10 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT  In December, my husband was really sick..I finally got him to the hospital for about 10 days with a dx of emphysema and bronchitis..I had known he had breathing issues for years but had been unable to get the VA to diagnose him. When he got out of the hospital; they began running tests on him...now the tests are taking over our lives. The last one was a radiography of his abdomen and pelvic area where they have found a mass on his pelvis/skelatal. On April 17th they are doing a neuron bone scan. His maternal grandfather died from bone cancer. They aren't telling us anything; however, his croutchty old VA doctor told him on his last visit that "he would be praying for him"...I can't stop crying..he is so depressed...we have a 10 year old son who worships his father...and 3 adult children..with 11 grandchildren. He doesn't want to talk about it, even with me...and we have always talked about everything. He won't let me discuss anything with the kids...he is scared and I am beside myself. My mind won't let me eat or sleep..he is on oxygen all the time for the emphysema and sleeping in his recliner all the time now...I feel like the ghost of the house because I seem to be walking around it lost all the time...I don't know what to do with myself and am so scared of loosing him...he is my heart and soul..I am completely lost right now... http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71057,0.htm CompletelyLost Mon, 25 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT My brother didn't speak to me for years.He found out he had GIST more than 10 yrs ago. He stopped talking to me for about 5 yrs.We was very close before after the yrs.We nt by he ended up being to sick and came back home to be with his family who always loved him.I am sad seeing him fade away and the pain he has I can't take away. He has 8 holes in his belly.2 are half dollar size . You can see the tumors. He can't have anymore surgeries the doctor told him.I never cry in front of him but he crys to me.I always tell him we will fight this but inside I feel destroyed completely I have no more time now to be with him.I been taking care of him during the day while our older sister works .we are mostly silent during the day he sleeps mostly.Our older sister crys to me everyday about him. I listen to her and talk to her and tell her we will do whatever it takes.I myself suffer migraines.My mother always said I am her strongest child I know she is right.But lately I am breaking.I am now in Egypt because I am married and trying to bring my husband to america to meet my brother because my brother asked me to bring him.My husband is my emotional support but via skype isn't enough. I'm Having a hard time with american embassy in Egypt.Been here a month and now I need to go back to the states to be with my brother. My daughter told me today he calls her by my name :( I'm lost now and I don't know what to do anymore. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71295,0.htm Strongest Fri, 12 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT My husband was recently diagnosed with clear cell rcc with mets to both lungs and bone (ribs and leg).  He just began Sutent last week. There is one bit of information I feel compelled to pass along.   My husband's cancer was discovered during a routine visit on January 31, 2013, to meet his new pcp at the VA following our relocation from one state to another. It was at that initial appointment they knew something was wrong. Other than a cough and wheeze that had lingered following a cold right before Christmas, he had no symptoms whatsoever.  Even the labs didn't raise a red flag.  It was then that we were made aware of the Camp Lejeune water contamination issue. Kidney cancer is on the list of 15 illnesses presumed to be attributed to exposure. Anyone (including family members of marines) stationed at Camp Lejeune for more than 30 days between 1953 and 1987 may have been affected and should be screened. Veterans exposed are put in the same category as those exposed to Agent Orange.  I mention this primarily because of the cost. We did seek a second opinion with an oncologist outside the VA. The oncologist through the VA allows us to bring our Rx for Sutent to the VA and then the VA oncologist writes the Rx so that we can fill it through the VA. This lifts a tremendous financial burden. Just wanted to pass this on.  The word needs to get out. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71167,0.htm mg1957 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT Hey all...  I feel like we're getting to a point...  a crossroads...  and I feel like I'm cracking... A 24/7 caregiver to someone with brain cancer is rough and lately, because of doctors switching his seizure meds, it's rougher.  My husband has really no use of his left side.  Because of the meds, he's having incontinence issues at night.  Last night, he literally woke up every half hour from 10 - 3 am and said he had to pee.  He didn't.  Physically, he's getting weaker...  At the store today he insisted he really had to pee.  I managed to get him into the nasty stall (in his wheelchair) and once he was on the toilet he magically didn't have to go.  I tried getting him back into his chair and couldn't and he was nearly on the floor when someone came in and beautifully helped us.  (Thank God he was huge and strong and kind).  We got home and as I tried to get him out of the car into the chair, he didn't stand properly and was bending and reaching for the chair and again, was sitting on the pavement.  Thank God (again) a neighbor who is a nurse was nearby and helped me get him into the chair.  We're reaching a breaking point here...  The doctor tells us to "be patient" as he adjusts the medicines.  Be patient?..  My God...  My body, mind, and emotional shell are cracking...  Would my husband benefit from in-patient therapy?  Possibly...  But I know he'd be so depressed at being there, that I can't bring him.  Have a home-nurse stay with us?  Ha...  no...  He'd never go for that and neither would I.  I'm tempted to ask a nephew to stay with us a few days - he helps us a lot and can physically maneuver my husband.  But it's not fair to burden him with our problems... Carolyn mentioned being in limbo the other day.  That's where we are now.  Is my husband going to get better?  Is this really only temporary as the meds get adjusted?  Or is this the downward spiral?...  I guess I'll wait it out a few more days and see how he does...  On a side note - I finally started my husband on a supplement of cannabidiol.  I've wanted him to start it awhile ago as it has lots of potential for anti-cancer (especially aggressive cancers) and overall health.  We're at that point now.  Amazingly...  he has a horrific tremor in his right arm (thanks to the meds) and an hour after giving him the cannabidiol, it's 90-95% gone.  Hmm...  He also said he feels somewhat better.  We'll see...  Any thoughts, comments, advice, etc would be appreciated...  Mostly, I just needed to write...  (as you all understand)   :) Take care, Sarah http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71220,0.htm SarahGrey Sat, 06 Apr 2013 00:00:00 GMT A place I cry is in the shower bent in half with the water running so my husband cannot hear me. Reminds me of a song "I only cry in the rain" . So very true I am afraid . As a caregiver I always doubt myself of doing the best I can . May God give me Grace !!!!!!!! http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70421,0.htm Carolynbmaes Sun, 10 Feb 2013 00:00:00 GMT Each day brings the unexpected. Not knowing what the night will be like or the next morning. Today I got up before my husband which is unusual. His door was still shut. As I walked to his room I thought he must have died and I opened the door to see he was awake. You see this is so not normal to live our daily lives like this. It is so perversed to the mind. It reminds me of this.......Some people are mad that roses have thorns. I'm just glad thorns have roses!! http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70783,0.htm Carolynbmaes Thu, 07 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT I just read sugar feeds cancer. I did not know that. Also what are these green drinks I am reading about. Like kale and berries smoothies. Is there a place I can get them like a smoothie store. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70841,0.htm Carolynbmaes Mon, 11 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT I am fairly new here and as I read all the different caregivers and patients messages I am so shocked by how these cancers have such huge words (at least for me) and medical terms. I mean my husband has waldenstroms macroglobulinemia a word that after almost 4 years I can finally pronounce it correctly . Gosh I remember when life out of the medical world pre cancer was so simple. I google his cancer and still can't understand a lot of the language. With cancer comes a new vocabulary unfortunately but you listen to the doctors and you may not know how to say the words but you learn what they mean very fast. So very fast....... http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70831,0.htm Carolynbmaes Sun, 10 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT I know this board isn't as active as the others.  I'm struggling.  This week my husband had a horrible reaction to the IV chemo and oral chemo pills that he was taking.  We've done 4 months of treatment since the initial surgery and radiation/chemo.  I am on the boards a lot just trying to get information as I'm not very confident in our doctors.  And I'm getting overwhelmed.  We are just in the beginning of our journey and I'm struggling.  It seems that we aren't even to the hard part yet.  If I'm struggling now, how am I going to be able to handle whatever comes next? And then how long do you keep fighting?  I don't want to give up hope, throw in the towel but this past week, I have never seen my husband so week and miserable.  He is young, 33 and I know that he has his whole life ahead of him.  We have a young 10 month old.  Our case manager with the military keeps bringing up hospice and how we can stop treatment at any time.  I know that I support whatever my husband wants, but he leans on me for helping him make decisions.  What kind of life is he living if he is feeling miserable.  At what point do you say, I'm done with the treatments, I want to live the rest of my life whatever that is.  We all know there isn't a cure to this horrible disease.  I want to believe we are that one that beats it or at least makes it to a 10+ survivor.  But I feel like I'm standing at the bottom of a mountain just starting my climb and I am looking at all of the cliffs and rough terrain and I am terrified.  I have such a hole in my heart and I'm desperately trying to take care of him and give him all the facts.  I don't want to influence his decision but I want him to at least think about it.  My family gets upset when I even mention the possibility of stopping treatment.  They want him to fight until it kills him.  And honestly, I don't think he's strong enough.  He doesn't have the drive to fight it, he just wants to try to survive it.  I want it to be over.  I want him to pass away in his sleep and just be gone.  But I know that it will never be over.  Even when he's gone, I will miss his desperately.  And he probably won't just pass away peacefully, it's going to be a very long journey and I am already so tired. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,71038,0.htm Glitzy1294 Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT This is just a test of the emergency Kate-screaming system.  At the end of this test you will be returned to your regularly scheduled program, in progress. I'm a 24/7 caregiver for my 62 yr old fiance with terminal brain cancer. I'm terrified, exhausted, lonely and bored.  Broke too, since I haven't worked much for the 6 months I've been doing this! His grown kids makes me want to throw up. They're not here, they don't call much or Skype with him. They get angry at him (over the phone) when he doesn't lead a sparkling conversation. They say he doesn't care about them! He has trouble speaking and a sort of flat emotional state... They're asking for his stuff and they want a copy of his will! I made sure that I'm not in the will btw. I want him, not his stuff. But for now, I have no other life. I'm aftraid to get groceries and leave him alone for half an hour. I do laundry and clean toilets every day. I sleep on the floor next to his bed in case he has diarrhea in the night and needs help.He often does and he's embarrassed, so I joke around with him and try to help him keep his dignity. I clean his hands with baby wipes a few times a day ...he bites his nails. I'm afraid he'll fall (again) and his injury will keep him from getting Avastin in his chemo infusion until it heals - again. So I've moved or covered all the sharp edges and hard surfaces. Truth is I can't prevent (control) anything!  I just hate this. I'm falling apart. Sad as hell. Mad as hell. But the face I show everybody is the tough one, the one who believes it'll all be fine and he'll go into remission. I'm the "cut man" for my boxer in the ring - the one who takes care of the 'champ's' cuts and gives him sage advice. But this is kickin my a__.  I'm too old for this. And I feel guilty for wanting my life back. Turns out there's no way back to the regularly scheduled program.  That's long over. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70927,0.htm Karegiver Fri, 15 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT My wife died of GBM two weeks ago  (31 yo, fought for 7 months), and today we viewed her body and cremated her.  Per her wishes, we did not have an open viewing, and just invited her parents, my parents, and her brothers.  It's what she wanted.   Sadly, my parents could not make it because my brother and his wife had appointments in another city (1.5 hour flight) and needed them to babysit his children every day for the past four days, which he arranged with them about a month ago.  The thing is, we all know his appointments can be changed (him and his wife are students!), and our gut feel is it is part vacation.  We had a preference for today since this was the first day we could legally do so, and we did not want her body sitting in a fridge for an extra four days, which is the first day my parents wouldn't have to babysit. The cremation was set a week and a half ago, before they left for their meeting, whatever that meeting is -- they're cagey about the specifics.  Anyhow, I find myself incredibly angry with my brother over this.   We've never been close, but now he feels actively mean where his actions have kept my parents away (they live just ~8 hours drive away, near him) during what are truly the saddest weeks of my life.  My friends have held fast and are wonderful, setting aside everything (changing flights, vacations, etc.) to spend time with me.  My parents have made it clear they want to do the same... they just can't leave their grandkids home alone.  Is this something that I need to reconcile?  I've never been close to my brother since he made my childhood hell, but now I feel it's time to cut the link completely.  Next week we have a public funeral (with her ashes) that my parents can make, which will be great since I've missed them greatly these past two weeks. My brother, of course, is not coming.  You see, he has these important classes.... What do I do?   -just gettin along... http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,69828,0.htm gettinalong Sat, 05 Jan 2013 00:00:00 GMT As a caregiver I feel I am in a deep sea of water where my feet can't touch the bottom and I cannot see land because of the darkness. And I am using my arms and legs to stay afloat. You see that is the mental and physical exhaustion all caregivers feel. I read the same things over and over . We are all at a lost because we as humans feel helpless. Cancer to me is death of all that was the norm. I am so exhausted I cannot think straight or catch up in this world of cancer hell. The only thing I am sure of that I own and no one can take from me is my Faith. Funny,the other night I asked God as I lay in bed to take me. I said to God ,my creator, if this is as good as it gets to please bring me home. Sad but true!!!! http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70756,0.htm Carolynbmaes Tue, 05 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT Hi, My name is Chantelle. My husband was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer back in May 2012 and finished treatment in August and then had surgery early september. I'm basically just looking for some help and support of ways that I can help my husband. I guess like many of you we kind of thought that it would be 'better' now, but it's not. My husband is struggling in so many areas and I am at a complete loss of how to help him get through it. He has returned to work but is struggling so much with his job. We are struggling so badly financially because of the time he had off work and all of this is taking its toll on my husband. We have 2 young children and I am finding it really hard to know the best way to continue to support him. I've tried to get him to open up to me but that's hard too. It's not that I don't understand how he feels, it's more that I get really worried when he won't talk about those feelings. I'm worried that it might be bordering on depression but I'm pretty sure he's in denial about that.  In the beginning he was so positive about beating in and about all the good things he would do when it was gone but it's not to the point where some days I struggle to even get him out of bed. He's not skipping work or anything so it's not extremely bad but I'm very worried. He's also still suffering from a variety of side effects such as ringing in the ears and tingling and loss of sensation in fingertips and toes.  Basically I'm just wondering how other people have helped their spouses and partners get through the time after chemo when you don't have the medical support and the rest of the world seems to have moved on and doesn't realise it is still a struggle everyday. What things did you find helped?  Sorry about the long post and if this has been discussed a million times before! Thanks in advance for any help and advice. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70735,0.htm WifeofWilmo Mon, 04 Mar 2013 00:00:00 GMT Where is the best place to go for information on mouth sores from Chemo?  A good place for tips, remedies, recipes, advice, etc..  Thanks http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70598,0.htm vogel Fri, 22 Feb 2013 00:00:00 GMT At the end of December, my boyfriend was diagnosed with Hodgkins Stage 1.  Thankfully, he has been responding really well to all of his treatments.  He just went through his third session and gets chemo every other week.  With any luck, we will be finished with chemo and be able to blast the rest of it with radiation and be done with this. Per his request, and because his condition is not terminal, he does not want any of his friends knowing about his condition.  Though I respect his wishes, it has personally made it difficult for me to find someone to talk to about his besides his family. On that note, his family has not made this experience easy.  Before his diagnosis, he was not very close with his parents and now they are calling/texting every day with no helpful advice or acting like they know everything there is to know about his cancer.  I feel as if they do not think I am capable of acting as his caregiver even though I have spent all of my free time looking up information on his cancer, how to deal with side effects, as well as ensuring that he eats/gets all the nutrients that his body needs. Even though we are getting towards to end of his treatment (hopefully), I am finding it difficult to act like the brave soldier and support system on the outside like nothing is going wrong even though internally I feel stressed nd exhausted beyond belief. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70549,0.htm KPuff123 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 00:00:00 GMT yesterday my brother who lost a kidney and was dx'd with stage 4 kidney cancer which spread to his lung and liver, gave me the best news ever, his recent scans are clean and even thoigh he must continue to take his cancer pill another yr, i am realizing how big a miracle this is, but i lost my dad to cancer, sept 12, 2011, an uncle to cancer july 4, 2012, and a aunt to cancer/my dads last sibling to cancer the tuesday before christmas, and i miss them horribly and i am confused an overwhelmed, is this normal or am i just too senstive?  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70391,0.htm jae6571 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 00:00:00 GMT Hello caregivers, I'm a researcher from Michigan State University and I'm conducting a survey about the information seeking behaviors of cancer patients' loved ones. As a family member of a cancer patient, I know how difficult this time of life can be, which is why I hope to do research that can help other individuals in the same position. Specifically, I'm looking to hear from individuals who have had a loved one diagnosed within the past 6 months or who are currently caring for a loved one with cancer. The survey should take about 10 minutes, and in exchange for your participation, I will donate $5 to the American Cancer Society. I would greatly appreciate hearing from you and learning about your experiences. Here is the survey link for you to copy and paste into your browser: https://msuccas.us2.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_dnxE0tjIOLUFOXH Thank you so much, and I wish you the best during this difficult time.  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,70446,0.htm clauckner Mon, 11 Feb 2013 00:00:00 GMT