How can I cope better?

My mom has PC, her tumor is in the tail.  I find out next week whether it is stage IV or not (the doctor says the lymphnodes look swollen and if this is the case then it will be stage IV).  I do not know how much time we have left with my dear mom.

I am having such a horrible time functioning.  I am finding it very difficult to go to work or even do daily activities.   I am very close to my mom and I wish I could take all her pain and anguish away, however, like everyone else who is coping with this, this is not the case.  If only we could turn back the clock....

Would anyone have any suggestions on how I can cope better with this so I can make my mom feel more comfortable.  I am sure she can see the pain on my face but I do not wish for her to be concerned, afterall, I still will have my life to live...this is so heart  breaking. 

I am very sorry for everyone who has to endure the pain and suffering of this horrific disease.  God bless you.

My mom was diagnosed March 1 with Pancreatic Cancer (adenocarcinoma) and metastisis to the liver. Hers is  a Stage Iv also. I can only say to you that I wake up everyday and wonder is this real???MY mom was fine the very day she got the dreadful news. Well, not fine..she had some abdominal pain and indigestion that's what brought her in to see the Dr. She is 58, btw. But, we had lunch together that day and shopped at TARGET..lol. Later that night, she phoned me after the Dr. had called her at home. She was crying and I could hear the fear in her voice. "Melanie," she said. "I have  a mass on my pancreas and several lesions on my liver." I nearly dropped to the floor. THe next day she had a pancreatic bx. THe waiting and waiting for the results was sooo hard for us all. We had  just a small glimmer of hope that the report was wrong. But, it wasn't. So...today was our first visit with an oncologist. He recommended GEMZAR and TAvastin?? MY mom is seeking a second opinion simply b/c that is my mom. Also, he didn't sound reassuring that her life would extend much. HE did assure her that he would make her comfortable and that scared her even more. He said it's not operable b/c it is not maintained in the pancreatic tail anymore.  Tomorrow is our second opinion. Wish us luck. I hope you find some peace soon. 

Dear Meleroni:

My mother's diagnosis was exactly like your's and she was on the exact same treatment regimen.  She was diagnosed on 09/29/06 and passed away on 02/23/07.  We all must push for more research about PC!!  We must put our energies into developing screening and treatment for this horrible disease.  We tried to donate my mother's diseased organs to the Rapid Organ Donation Program at Johns Hopkins Medical Institute in Baltimore, MD but were unable to do so b/c they were up for their annual review and not currently accepting donations.  It was heartbreaking for my family to lose our cherished mother, grandmother and sister only to find out that we would not be able to help unlock the secret to this disease thru donation of her organs.  I beg anyone out there in this same situation to consider giving this amazing gift so that research might finally pay off.  Bless you and your entire family.

My Mom did gemzar and avastin with xeloda and it did give us 4 progression free months. I read a study where they said that the people who do the best have very frequent monitoring of their cancer via catscans etc and who switch the minute the treatment stops working to something else. We did this for a year and then lost the battle. But there is always hope.

I was tied to my computer looking for the right answers for a year. My Mom almost flew to the Phillapines to get a new treatment. I wish in a way that she had. it is the stone left unturned. It sounds wrong but I feel very lost now that I cannot search for an answer. I am praying that you find one. You never know what will work for your Mom. Some people have miraculous results - some people respond very very well to the treatments. It is all so individual. You just never know. My friends Mom went progression free for 12 months with just gemzar and then went another 8 months without it. It all sounds so obscene - talking about months as being some sort of grand thing when we all know that it should be years and for my Mom even decades. She was only 56. But I think the harder you fight the more chance that answer will come. 

Jessie