Only Child...

Around September 2006 my mom started complaining of Jaundice, nausea and abdominal pain, she is 63 years old.  She went to the doc and was misdiagnosed several times over the course of the next few months.  Finally on Dec 15 was diagnosed with PC. 

 

I am an only child and her only family.  We lived 3 hours apart and I had to manage getting her in and out of the hospital several times.  Also taking care of SSI/Medicaid paperwork – she has no insurance and very low income. They tried whipple procedure on Jan 8, 2007 but could not resect because the cancer had spread to the distal part of the stomach.  Her tumor is about an inch in size.  We decided she should move in with me and my husband, I sold her home/car.

 

We started Chemo last week, they are administering Gemzar once a week for the next 8 weeks.  After the first treatment I noticed she became very wired, almost too energetic.  Is having some real trouble with short term memory.  I haven’t noticed anyone citing these sort of side effects, has anyone else seen this?

 

To complicate things she is really struggling with giving up her independence, it makes me feel really guilty.  Initially I was helping her with her meds, there are quite a few.  She said I was treating her like a child and insists on managing her meds herself.  I know she’s not taking everything she should when she should, she just can’t remember. 

 

I hate to sound selfish but this whole thing has been very stressful for me.  Taking off so much time from work –everyone says “well your covered under FMLA”, but you don’t get paid for that time.  I still haven’t gotten her medical card approved and now that she is going to Chemo we no longer have Hospice delivering meds.  I am shelling out big bucks each week for her meds, and having to take half day off each week to take her to Chemo. 

 

I guess I’m just venting on here, but can anyone answer my question about the above listed side effects from Chemo??  Also I cannot really get a straight answer from anyone on how long she has…  can anyone tell me this?? She physically doesn’t feel great, but isn’t miserable or anything.  Mostly she is emotionally miserable because of all the major changes, loss of independence, and prognosis.  

I want to say that I am sorry you have to deal with this all on your own.  I am not an only child, but I am the only one that provides care for my mom that has had PC for 2 1/2 years.  My brother and sister chose not to be involved, my brother is clueless and swears she is not dying.  My sister has not had any contact with my Mom for over 10 years.  So sometimes even if you have siblings, they don't always help. 

My Mom was on gemzar and did not have an increase in energy or forgetfulness.

I would say keep asking for a prognosis.  Even though my Mom has lived way beyond what the Dr's have said.  They told me that she had a 15% to make it two years.  Well we are at 2 years and 8 months that is has been fighting this disease.  It is very stressful.  I have 2 kids and a husband, plus I work 32 hours a week.  I know exactly where you are coming from about financial stress, personal stress. My Mom was really bad in Spet of 2006, I worked half days for 6 weeks and it was very stressful and very hard on my kids.

My advise is:  take it one day at a time, get help from anyone that offers and understand that it is the disease that is making your Mom do different things.  Love her every day.

good luck and I will pray for you and your Mom

 

 

 

 

On 3/8/2007 Momsone wrote:

Around September 2006 my mom started complaining of Jaundice, nausea and abdominal pain, she is 63 years old.  She went to the doc and was misdiagnosed several times over the course of the next few months.  Finally on Dec 15 was diagnosed with PC. 

 

I am an only child and her only family.  We lived 3 hours apart and I had to manage getting her in and out of the hospital several times.  Also taking care of SSI/Medicaid paperwork – she has no insurance and very low income. They tried whipple procedure on Jan 8, 2007 but could not resect because the cancer had spread to the distal part of the stomach.  Her tumor is about an inch in size.  We decided she should move in with me and my husband, I sold her home/car.

 

We started Chemo last week, they are administering Gemzar once a week for the next 8 weeks.  After the first treatment I noticed she became very wired, almost too energetic.  Is having some real trouble with short term memory.  I haven’t noticed anyone citing these sort of side effects, has anyone else seen this?

 

To complicate things she is really struggling with giving up her independence, it makes me feel really guilty.  Initially I was helping her with her meds, there are quite a few.  She said I was treating her like a child and insists on managing her meds herself.  I know she’s not taking everything she should when she should, she just can’t remember. 

 

I hate to sound selfish but this whole thing has been very stressful for me.  Taking off so much time from work –everyone says “well your covered under FMLA”, but you don’t get paid for that time.  I still haven’t gotten her medical card approved and now that she is going to Chemo we no longer have Hospice delivering meds.  I am shelling out big bucks each week for her meds, and having to take half day off each week to take her to Chemo. 

 

I guess I’m just venting on here, but can anyone answer my question about the above listed side effects from Chemo??  Also I cannot really get a straight answer from anyone on how long she has…  can anyone tell me this?? She physically doesn’t feel great, but isn’t miserable or anything.  Mostly she is emotionally miserable because of all the major changes, loss of independence, and prognosis.  

my husband and i were waiting at the radiation center for his turn with radiation. one of the women we talked to said her mom could not take the gemzar because she had a reaction to it, like an allergic reaction. some people have an adverse reaction without it actually being an allergy. my husband cannot take morphine because it caused him to become "wired" and talk alot and then he started becoming paranoid. keep an eye on your mom. her symptoms may be short term or temporary..or they may need to change her medicine. it would be best for you to talk with her doctor about these changes and how to deal with them. with my husband ill, he is not able to work right now, but we do still have insurance through the union where he worked. we have to pay extra  for it though.  i have a good job as a registered nurse and i work almost every day ..monday thru friday. but it is hard to be away from jim during this time. he is doing pretty well though and we consider ourselves blessed because he was diagnosed early enough to have the whipple surgery which was successful. the chemo has been hard on him, but the radiation is not too bad. the hard part has been to keep his blood work in normal range so that he can have the treatments. one of the great things about this web site is that i can talk to people who are going through the same things and i have learned a few things too. it is a great support for all of us when we need to "vent".  so keep writing. people are listening. jim and kathy