Lost Without My Husband

My husband died in November of 2007 from stomach cancer.  We were married for only 2 years but were together for 10 years.  Since his passing, I am completely lost and really don't know what to do with myself.  I have found that I am angry alot, particularly with God for taking him away from me and my daughter.  The transition for both of us has been really hard.  He truly was the love of my life.  I find it really difficult to believe that at 37 years old that I am widowed.  Does anyone have any advice on how I can maintain my sanity?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Janeen

Hi Janeen,

I wish I had something to say that would help you.  My name is Eric.  My mother was dianosed with cancer about 2 weeks ago.  I am told it is mostly likely lung cancer that has spread and is very aggresive.  My mom is only 53 and it seems that she only has a few weeks. 

 I am 30 years old with a family.  I finished doing some work on my house and thought I would have a few beers and try a escape for awhile being online.  I didn't intend to visit any sites related to cancer but I ended up linking from site to site and now I am here.  I read your message and decided I wanted to reply.  So I signed up and just wanted to tell you that I am sorry to hear about your news and wish I had answers myself.  I just thought you might like to know that someone else read you message. 

Hope you find a good way to get through this and take care of the kids.

Eric 

On 3/11/2007 Inazone2 wrote:

My husband died in November of 2007 from stomach cancer.  We were married for only 2 years but were together for 10 years.  Since his passing, I am completely lost and really don't know what to do with myself.  I have found that I am angry alot, particularly with God for taking him away from me and my daughter.  The transition for both of us has been really hard.  He truly was the love of my life.  I find it really difficult to believe that at 37 years old that I am widowed.  Does anyone have any advice on how I can maintain my sanity?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Janeen

Hi Janeen, Im so sorry to hear of the loss of the love of your life I can't imagine what you and your daughter must be going through the only thing you can do to reserve your sanity is to take one day at a time and know there are people all over the world who care about you.

Regards Alison

Hello..my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter...I am so

sorry for your husband's passing. My husband is diagnosed with liver

cancer back in Dec 2006..he's 42 yrs old and we have a 7yr old son. We

are fighting this disease head on, side by side..but the fear inside me is

so strong sometimes esp when I see him suffer from all the harsh side

effects of chemotherapy and all I can do is watch and pray that the pain

will subside and hoping for a good day amidst all the bad days...to even

think of life w/o my husband is unimaginable...I brace myself for the worse

and for all the ups and downs..Pls take care and be strong esp for your

daughter..she needs you..the warm memories and love your husband

left behind will keep you strong ..the healing process continues at your

own pace..his presence in spirit is there next to you..talk to him..he is

your greatest Guardian Angel..he's watching over you and your daughter.

On 3/11/2007 Inazone2 wrote:

My husband died in November of 2007 from stomach cancer.  We were married for only 2 years but were together for 10 years.  Since his passing, I am completely lost and really don't know what to do with myself.  I have found that I am angry alot, particularly with God for taking him away from me and my daughter.  The transition for both of us has been really hard.  He truly was the love of my life.  I find it really difficult to believe that at 37 years old that I am widowed.  Does anyone have any advice on how I can maintain my sanity?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Janeen

Nothing makes it easier other than time.  You have a daughter to care for.  When you spend time with your daughter you have to keep sane.

Know that others feel the same loss, pain and anger that you feel.  I lost my husband one day short of our thirty year anniversy June of 2005 and I find I still hate him at times for leaving. You are only 37 and seem to be in good health.  Maybe there will be someone else when you least expect it. I am 56 with lung problems can't see anyone breaking down my door. Due to his illness I lost everything....house, bussiness, and my mind a few times.  Take the faith you have even if it is anger and go to a church and speak to someone. If you have faith in a God tell him you are mad. I'm sure he has heard worse!  My soul mate told everyone we are reformed Druid's who pray to bushes not trees. I loved his humor it made hard times easier. You have to raise your daughter, try and find something special to do together.  Sports, concerts, theater start something for the two of you. I think your date may be off.  I he passed in November than you made it through Christmas.  That was a difficult time for me but I made it through and so did you.  It is just day by day that you make it.  

On 3/28/2007 Lanelane wrote:

 

On 3/11/2007 Inazone2 wrote:

My husband died in November of 2007 from stomach cancer.  We were married for only 2 years but were together for 10 years.  Since his passing, I am completely lost and really don't know what to do with myself.  I have found that I am angry alot, particularly with God for taking him away from me and my daughter.  The transition for both of us has been really hard.  He truly was the love of my life.  I find it really difficult to believe that at 37 years old that I am widowed.  Does anyone have any advice on how I can maintain my sanity?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Janeen

Nothing makes it easier other than time.  You have a daughter to care for.  When you spend time with your daughter you have to keep sane.

Know that others feel the same loss, pain and anger that you feel.  I lost my husband one day short of our thirty year anniversy June of 2005 and I find I still hate him at times for leaving. You are only 37 and seem to be in good health.  Maybe there will be someone else when you least expect it. I am 56 with lung problems can't see anyone breaking down my door. Due to his illness I lost everything....house, bussiness, and my mind a few times.  Take the faith you have even if it is anger and go to a church and speak to someone. If you have faith in a God tell him you are mad. I'm sure he has heard worse!  My soul mate told everyone we are reformed Druid's who pray to bushes not trees. I loved his humor it made hard times easier. You have to raise your daughter, try and find something special to do together.  Sports, concerts, theater start something for the two of you. I think your date may be off.  I he passed in November than you made it through Christmas.  That was a difficult time for me but I made it through and so did you.  It is just day by day that you make it.  

wanted to tell you that I read your message with tears in my eyes. My husband died June 20th. of this year 2007. He had stomach and liver cancer. My Mother died in March of this year and it was right after this that my husband was diagnosed. He immediately was so ill that he couldn't get out of bed or walk by himself. He was a big strong man and all of a sudden he was so weak that he had to go to his doctor appts. on a stretcher and by ambulance. He had lymphoma of the stomach and liver. The doctor said if you have to have cancer this is the one you want because it is treatable. He also said you will feel so much better after your first chemo treatment. His first chemo treatment was also his last as he died two weeks later. We were married 45 years and I don't know how to go on with out him. He was my soul mate, my lover, and my best friend. I keep thinking that maybe we shouldn't have had the chemo. But he just went down so fast. He was diagnosed in April and died in June. Most of that time he was bedridden. The side effects of the chemo were devastating. I hope this is not too long , I just needed someone to talk to and to listen. Please if anyone has gone through something similar write to me and share your experience. I need someone to talk to.

I to lost my  husband to cancer after a brave battle of 2 years.  I never believed he would go as he was such a fighter and battled right to the end.  I have 2 small children and it has now been 2 months since he died. Everyday is harder than the last, but I put on my brave face for the children's sake, but I feel as if I am dying inside.  Has time been the healer for you that people keep telling me about?

On 3/11/2007 Inazone2 wrote:

My husband died in November of 2007 from stomach cancer.  We were married for only 2 years but were together for 10 years.  Since his passing, I am completely lost and really don't know what to do with myself.  I have found that I am angry alot, particularly with God for taking him away from me and my daughter.  The transition for both of us has been really hard.  He truly was the love of my life.  I find it really difficult to believe that at 37 years old that I am widowed.  Does anyone have any advice on how I can maintain my sanity?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Janeen

Time is an awesome healer, but if your grief is that intense, for your sake, as well as the sake of the beautiful and precious children he left behind, perhaps you should seek counselling.  You should be able to find one that deals specifically with grief management.

My own Mom, was a widow at 30 with three small children, her faith is waht got her through, and the fact that she said she had no time to feel sorry for herself with three young children to deal with.  Everyone is different though, and seeking help might be the best thing you can do to honor this man you so love.

Beth

On 7/12/2007 alakie wrote:

I to lost my  husband to cancer after a brave battle of 2 years.  I never believed he would go as he was such a fighter and battled right to the end.  I have 2 small children and it has now been 2 months since he died. Everyday is harder than the last, but I put on my brave face for the children's sake, but I feel as if I am dying inside.  Has time been the healer for you that people keep telling me about?

On 3/11/2007 Inazone2 wrote:

My husband died in November of 2007 from stomach cancer.  We were married for only 2 years but were together for 10 years.  Since his passing, I am completely lost and really don't know what to do with myself.  I have found that I am angry alot, particularly with God for taking him away from me and my daughter.  The transition for both of us has been really hard.  He truly was the love of my life.  I find it really difficult to believe that at 37 years old that I am widowed.  Does anyone have any advice on how I can maintain my sanity?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Janeen

 

Honestly it has.  I won't lie to you and say that it is easy because it isn't.  I miss him an awful lot and wish that he could have beat this.  All I can tell you is hold on the the good memories and know that your husband fought to be with you and your children.  The love that you have for him will keep you comforted when you need it.  Please know that over time, things will get a lot easier and the days won't seem as long.  Anytime you need a ear, just know that I can and will listen. 

Janeen