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I Am Scared And Confused

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Subject: I am scared and confused
Date: 03/15/2007

My 65 year old brother was diagnosed two months ago with cholangio carcinoma based on an MRI.  One doctor told him he had 6-12 months to live. Apparently surgery is not an option. He is not receiving any treatment and his specialist wants to see him when he becomes jaundice. He is meeting the specialist on 3/19/07 again.  He never asks any questions such as staging, clinical trials, etc.

I live in CA and he lives in Iowa,and I am all he has (our mother passed away six months ago from old age).  I have not brought up the subject of his coming to live with my family when the time comes because we have not discussed "when the time comes."

I don't know whether I should start looking for hospice care in Iowa, or in California or what.  I am reluctant to suggest he come here right now as my 21 year old son tried to commit suicide one month ago and almost succeeded.  Needless to say my husband and I are beside ourselves just taking care of our son right now.

Though I know my son comes first, I feel guilty if I am not offering something to my brother.  I don't want him to die alone (I lost a 12 year old son to bone cancer 25 years ago, so I know taking care of someone with cancer is no picnick in the park. 

Any suggestions would be helpful.

 

 

 

 

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