Scared

Hi Everyone, I'm new here. I'm a caregiver/girlfriend of a wonderful person who has lung cancer. He was diagnosed last May. This title "caregiver" is certainly different than anything I've experienced before. I'm a mom. Even though my kids are older now, I'm still a mom. There is no way to be prepared for this kind of caregiver. I also lost my hearing almost exactly one year before he was diagnosed with Lung cancer. I got sick and I woke up one day and my hearing was gone within a few hours. He was my hero that day. It's been a real challenge. They have not told us what stage his cancer is in. I want to beleive that it's managable, but the last few days have really made me doubt that. He has lost so much weight. And he is in so much pain. It seems like every time he begins to get better something happens to move backwards. We thought it was gonna give us a break. Then he gets off schedule and all #*!% breaks loose. The night before last was awful. I could not sleep. I kept checking to see if he was still breathing. I was scared out of my mind. I thought It was goona be the end. I kept praying to God to give us more time. I felt it. I smelled it."IT" was in the room. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. I thought I was being paranoid. The next day he said that he had felt like he was going to die the night before. It was the strangest thing I've ever been through. I thank God every morning that we wake up. We have another day. He seem to be getting back on track now. He has a CT scan the 20 of this month. I'm praying that we get to that day. Anyway I just had to tell somebody about what happened. If it weren't for these message boards, I don't know what I would be thinking. They certainly help. Ali

Funny I used to think my Mother's cancer had a smell. I used to send it "bad vibes" telling it to die.

 Just hang in there and make the most of the good days. Cancer is always a battle of ups and downs. And no matter what happens know that you will cope because we all do.

I will be praying for you.

I am a Lung cancer survivor  of 5 years.  I had two thirds of my right lung removed.  3 weeks after that I had emergency surgery on a perferated colon..There I  was bald from chemo and wearing a bag after surgery.  It is now 5 years.  My hair r grew back I had reverse surgery on removal of the bag.  I go to a gym 6 days a week   Being scared is normal  you are human    always live with hope

 

On 3/15/2007 Aliboo wrote:

Hi Everyone, I'm new here. I'm a caregiver/girlfriend of a wonderful person who has lung cancer. He was diagnosed last May. This title "caregiver" is certainly different than anything I've experienced before. I'm a mom. Even though my kids are older now, I'm still a mom. There is no way to be prepared for this kind of caregiver. I also lost my hearing almost exactly one year before he was diagnosed with Lung cancer. I got sick and I woke up one day and my hearing was gone within a few hours. He was my hero that day. It's been a real challenge. They have not told us what stage his cancer is in. I want to beleive that it's managable, but the last few days have really made me doubt that. He has lost so much weight. And he is in so much pain. It seems like every time he begins to get better something happens to move backwards. We thought it was gonna give us a break. Then he gets off schedule and all #*!% breaks loose. The night before last was awful. I could not sleep. I kept checking to see if he was still breathing. I was scared out of my mind. I thought It was goona be the end. I kept praying to God to give us more time. I felt it. I smelled it."IT" was in the room. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. I thought I was being paranoid. The next day he said that he had felt like he was going to die the night before. It was the strangest thing I've ever been through. I thank God every morning that we wake up. We have another day. He seem to be getting back on track now. He has a CT scan the 20 of this month. I'm praying that we get to that day. Anyway I just had to tell somebody about what happened. If it weren't for these message boards, I don't know what I would be thinking. They certainly help. Ali

Just wanted to say someone else is reading your message--and praying for you during this Holy Week.  I have this really strong sense that your friend is going to take a turn for the better on Easter. 

I have a procedure myself next week.  Trying to rule out endometrial cancer.  I keep thinking that my life will change--maybe not though. I've promised God and myself, however, that I'm going to start taking better care of myself regardless of the outcome.  I think the Lung Cancer Survivor who wrote to you is inspirational.  He reminded me that when I was growing up (I'm in my 60's), the term didn't exist--now one hears "cancer survivor" all of the time. 

 Hang in there and keep on hoping--miracles do happen every day.