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What Do I Do??

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Caregiver
Niceguy17
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Subject: What do I do??
Date: 03/17/2007

Hello everyone,

 Although posting my personal problems is not something i would regularly do, I am desperate and am in hope to find others or someone who has been in my situation perhaps. I am 26 years old and my girlfriend has just been diagnosed with cancer. She actually had it 3 years ago and the guy she was with at the that time left her when he found out she had it. She ended beating it and was in remission and was healthy up until recently she was diagnosed with it once again. We have been together roughly a year and have a very serious relationship, to the point where we will most likely be engaged anytime soon. Anyway my problem is here that since weve found this out shes been acting very different and rghtfully so with what shes going through but i almost feel like shes pushing me away and at other times shes completely opposite. I am  always trying to support her in everything we do and as well i try and make sure i dont treat her like shes different and keep normalcy in our lives. However ive never been in this situation and don't know what exactly to say at times. I just make sure she knows i love her and support her and that i dont want to lose her. She also sometimes talks about leaving me because she doesnt want me to have to go through this with her and things like that, in which i always reply that i want to go through this with her because i am so in love with her and she deserves only the best in life and i will be there for her every step no matter what she says. And yet still she distances herself. Am i being too supportive? What should i do to help her because thats all i want to do is make her happy but am perplexed as to how to do that. Should i just continue to always let her know im here and who not? What is the best thing for me to do here for her?

Subject: RE: What do I do??
Date: 03/18/2007

You have asked one of the most difficult questions we all struggle with when someone we love is faced with the dx. There are many many postings here that I think would be of some help.

You need to remember though, someone she loved and trusted, left her at life changing point in her life. We can only imagine what she is feeling now. She needs to have her space. Her good days and bad days - they are about her and what she must face each and every day. She is, I am sure,  probably thinking more of how this illness will affect everyone else. What it's taking from others. Does not want to be a "burden". We know different. She knows it's hurting you. You must be patient and make sure you support whatever she needs, or wants. You don't know what is best for her, she does. All we can do is research, research and more research, look for support for ourselves and hold thier hand when they let us. If you make this about you, it will never work. You will end up tired and frustrated and it will be too much for you to handle. This is something those of us on the other side of this disease must accept. We will never understand completely what is happening emotionally to those dx. Support her decisions and don't ever - ever say to her YOU are just trying to "help". "What can I do?" How can make this easier for you?" She has enough to think about without worrying, once again, that she has become a burden.

This isn't easy. Coming here was a good start. She doesn't have the answers as to how you deal with this. You can cry with her, share her anger, fears, good news, bad news. She's fighting to survive. She needs to know she doesn't have to worry about you. Though she will anyway. She needs to know, you will be there when she needs you to be. None of us are perfect - that's for sure! We have all made mistakes. We all stumble through the emotions of what to do and what not to do. That's why we search for a place like this. ~~I share things with my husband that I find here. About same situations and what some of us here go through. Sometimes he could care less, and sometimes he asks how Patty and her Mom are doing. 

Please don't think I was preaching or lecturing  - The fact you came here, wanting to understand, is really huge on your part. You have know idea how much searching something out like this shows how much you care. You can find alot here. And other places as well.

Just know, we all pray for each others strength and well being and mostly, to keep hope in our hearts each and every day. God Bless. 

 

Caregiver
Caregiver
Niceguy17
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Subject: RE: What do I do??
Date: 03/20/2007
Thank you very much, i really apreciate the support and advice. It honestly helps.
Subject: RE: What do I do??
Date: 03/20/2007
You are always welcome here. For ANY reason. Even if you feel sorry for yourself! :-) It's allowed!  This is a diffucult thing to understand. No one wants to spend the rest of thier life wondering if we did the right thing. There is no right or wrong way to handle this. The thing is, we sometimes don't do the right thing, but it's not because we were wrong - we just don't know. That's why we look to others for support.
Patient
Patient
Aloha Wahine
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Subject: RE: What do I do??
Date: 03/20/2007

Welcome !!

     You are on the right track to get support from this website.  I am a thyroid cancer survivor.  If you would like to read my story on this website please read "Cancer Again ! Now What?".  It's very hard when you have cancer because we do feel like a burden to others that take care of us.  But on the other hand we need the support of someone else to get us through the good and bad days.  I am married and have a 2 1/2 yr. old son.  My husband bugs me everyday to make sure I'm feeling okay.  I have good and bad days.  On my bad days, I do not want to be bothered.  Sometimes I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and hide.  My emotions are on a roller coaster nowadays.  My doctor adjusted my thyroid medication in preparation for radiation treatment in May.  It's a difficult road for us (people with cancer) and for everyone else who cares for them.  I guess all you can do is reassure her that you love her and give her some space.  When she is ready she will talk to you and include you in her world.  I went through denial, anger, why me?, and all that crazy stuff so she needs time to let it settle in her brain.  I remember I had a hard time to even say "cancer".  Once I came to grips with it, I was ready to let others care for me.  Stay strong.  She will hopefully realize that you love her very much because you are still around.  May you have strength to stick with her till the end of treatment.  Good luck and best wishes.  May God Bless You.  Aloha, Paulette

 

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