Angry, Scared, Both

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Angry, Scared, Both

by Aliboo on Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:00 AM

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Hi Everyone, I was just reading through some posts. It seems we are all having our battles with God, Families, Doctors, and Oh the list can go on and on. My boyfriend was diagnosed with Non-small cell lung cancer last year. It's been a tough year. It has been a challenge on my beliefs, my strength(emotional and physical), and on our families. We've had some really scary moments lately. I prayed to God to give us just one more day. I thank God if we wake up in the morning. I ask for forgiviness for being selfish cuz I want my boyfriend here with me. In the end I know that if he dosen't make it, that it's a decision between him and God. I've seen people write that they were angry at God. The thing is that God didn't do this. I blame humans. Our need for things that are mucking up our world. I don't have lung cancer, but I have severe allergies and I lost my hearing (IN ONE DAY) because of it. I think it was exposure to mold. My immune system is almost non-existant. It's been extremely difficult to care for my boyfriend when I can't hear and sometimes he is to weak to right what he wants down. I have to guess. So if I'm having problems breathing imagine what people with lung cancer or COPD are going through. I think we all need to start thinking about what it is that we really need to survive. I have to keep faith for him. Right now he's got a chance at getting this under control. That's what I'm focusing on. At least until somebody comes to me and tells me it's over. I don't belive thats gonna happen just yet. There is no point in being angry. It just uses up precious energy. This fight takes all that plus everone around us. Use every resource you have to the max.Ali
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