My Mom Just Diagnosed 3 Weeks Ago

Hi, My mom was diagnosed with stage4 non small cell 3 weeks ago, it is also in the bone in her shoulder this is what the pet scan showed. Today we are going for a doppler test, brain mri, and a "What to expect from treatment" class at the Monter Center at LIJ hospital in NY. My mom just called me and told me she cancelled the brain mri because she "can't" do it, she had it once before after a car accident and is afraid to do it again, at least thats the excuse shes using. I think she doesn't want to know if its bad news. Anyway shes going through the motions I guess, guilt, pain, sadness. Right after her diagnoses (which was originally stage 3 non operable) she had a great outlook- She was goning to beat it! But now I see that outlook quickly changing. I'm guessing this is normal. Does anyone have an opinion on this or have you experienced this to. Help! I need some emotional support on how to deal with this with her, I want to help her and myself.

Hi I know just what you are going through my husband was dx oct 05 with  stage 4 nsclc that had spred to his spine. he had 4 rounds of cemo & 2 weeks of radiation for the spine.He is on tarceva now.  Just last month we had a small set back he developed blood clots in his legs they say that can happen with lung cancer. You & you mom will make it through. There will be ups & downs. Tell your mon to have the MRI done it's better to find out early when things can be treated then later when its to late.

She needs at least a CT with Contrast of the Brain or to be given some sedation to get thru the MRI.  If the shoulder is the only Metastatic site then it should be investigated to be sure.  (single mets are always suspect until proven otherwise and since it is the difference between potentially curable versus palliative it should be done).  I have a friend, my fathers age with Adeno Ca and the only possible met is the Left hip.  The doctors at Bowman Grey said he was incurable based on this and after reviewing his scans I recommended they make sure of it.  They told him "no radiation' which is ok if he had diffuse spread and to no weight bearing bones.  Point is IF it is a met it should be treated to prevent fracture if they truly believe what they are saying.  Common Problem since he is only being seen by the chemo doctors who sometimes don't think locally even when it would help.  So in most cases if there is only a "solitary" metastasis I think it should be proven.

I am so sorry to hear that. We are going through a very similar situation with our Mom.  My best advice is to be your Mom's biggest fan and support her no matter what.  Remember miracles do happen.  Please keep me updated. 

 Toni

 

On 4/22/2007 Witchdoctor wrote:

She needs at least a CT with Contrast of the Brain or to be given some sedation to get thru the MRI.  If the shoulder is the only Metastatic site then it should be investigated to be sure.  (single mets are always suspect until proven otherwise and since it is the difference between potentially curable versus palliative it should be done).  I have a friend, my fathers age with Adeno Ca and the only possible met is the Left hip.  The doctors at Bowman Grey said he was incurable based on this and after reviewing his scans I recommended they make sure of it.  They told him "no radiation' which is ok if he had diffuse spread and to no weight bearing bones.  Point is IF it is a met it should be treated to prevent fracture if they truly believe what they are saying.  Common Problem since he is only being seen by the chemo doctors who sometimes don't think locally even when it would help.  So in most cases if there is only a "solitary" metastasis I think it should be proven.

Thanks for your help. Since I wrote that last post my mother saw the radiologist, who said that she see's something possibly on the spine and also on the hip, so mom had a ct of the whole back on Monday. What I don't get is that she is having radiation on the shoulder only right now and not on the lungs, but we have an appointment with her oncologist Dr. Jane Carleton tomorrow. Any questions anybody thinks I should be asking when we see her? I need all the help I can get at this point. Thanks! Tracy

Thank You so much for the pep talk! Its so nice to have people like yourself to talk to!           Best of Luck!    Tracy

Your message touched my heart. We are in the same situation you are.  My husband just found out about a month ago that he has stage 4 lung cancer.  He went for the MRI and it wasn't in his brain.  I have no great words of advice for you.....I wish I did.  I'll be sure to keep your mom and you in my prayers. 

Thank you so much for responding, it helps soooooo much just to know that there are other people out there feeling the same feelings I am. Mom and I saw the oncoloigst this morning and mom told her that her breathing is a little labored in the AM, The Dr. listened to her lungs and heard something in the right side ( the tumor is in the left lower lobe) so she needs to get another chest xray. She started radiation yesterday, and tonight we go again (10 days) so far so good, no problems.  After radiation is done (if everything is OK with chest xray) she will start chemo carboplatin and taxol. The radiologist also saw something small on her spine and hip but they believe when the chemo starts that will take care of it. Thanks for your prayers, you are in mine also! Keep your head up as much as possible and stay positve. Tracy

I'm sorry that you have to be here, but glad that you are getting support.  I know it is a shocking time for you.  Things will settle down and you begin to touch back to earth as she progresses through chemo.  I hope the oncologist is also giving her Zometa for bone strength.  It really helps to prevent new bone mets.

Best of luck to you and your Mom.

Thanks for your kind words of encouragement, it is truly appreciated.

                             Tracy