On 4/20/2007 Cindy611 wrote:
Sorry the above message was written by me I thought I signed in but I guess not
Hi Cindy,
John and I have been married for 38 years and November 8, 2006 he was diagnosed with RCC which has spread to his lungs, liver and spine. It is a hard journey to make together and don't worry, like everyone else you will just feel your way through and do fine.... Be sure to read up on the side effects from his medicines and learn what to expect. The board here has helped John and me get prepared for almost everything, so little things like checking the bottoms of his feet, to get them in good shape by using foot cream or picking up some Biotene mouth moisturizer since the chemo drugs dry out the mouth and our dental hygienist also recommended it to help prevent mouth problems.... it is the little things that drive you crazy but if you are prepared and know what to expect, things go a little easier when you are faced with problems and with the knowledge you get from these messages you don't panic as badly. Be sure to try to keep things as "normal" as possible and keep a daily journal since down the road some doctor will want to try some obscure medicine or something and you will have been through so many things that you will need a written source to know what and when and where... The side effects should also be recorded so you can maybe figure out a pattern of what to expect during the next course of treatment. I continue to nag, tease and ask John to rub my feet, just like I have for the past 38 years.... but I also hold his hand more, just to feel the strength of the life we have created together. We smile at each other more because this journey takes your emotions and love to a whole new level....You both are the same people, so don't treat him any differently than you had in the past. Just enjoy each other more. There are enough "well intentioned" people who will through THEIR ignorance say stupid things that will hurt, so be prepared. My own 83 year old father told John to "suck it up and take the pain"..... when John was hospitalized with 3 compression fractures..... so you just need to concentrate on the two of you..... and consider everyone else as insignificant supporting characters in life and be positive and know that you are there for each other. Sometimes your friends will even surprise you by a kind gesture or just by spending some time and listening. I am sorry to ramble, but just sit down and type on this board and just saying it out loud here helps... Nobody judges the caregivers on needing to talk and vent and sometimes just SCREAM !!! It is OK. Sit down and write. It helps. John is scheduled for kyphoplasty tomorrow for his 3 fractures. Be sure to look everything up on the internet to get the full picture of what to expect.... Don't forget information is empowering..... Good luck with the journey.... keep on writing here. There are a lot of listeners.....