Stage Iv Melanoma

My mother has just been diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic melanoma.  The latest scans are showing lesions in her liver, lungs, behind her kidney, some bones and the muscle in her eye.  My family is trying to plan some trips for her and family gatherings, but it is hard to know how quickly we need to plan these.  The doctor told her she would have 6-12 months, but I see her going down fast.  She can barely eat anything and we are trying things like Ensure, etc. just to keep up her strength.  She gets very tired easily and has lost 35 pounds in the last 4 months.  I'm just not sure what to expect and/or what websites I can find information about this stage and what to expect.  I appreciate any guidance.  Thanks!

My husband was diagnosed with stage IV in August  with tumors in the lungs, liver and spleen.  He was told he would live 5 months at the most.  He only lived 3 months. His energy went very fast.  From a healthy man riding a bike for 3 hours the week before diagnosis to bedridden in a short time.  If you can spend time or take your mother for a trip, you should do it immediately, because we never could go on a trip because of his energy going so fast and no interest when he had been told he would not live long.  This will be a difficult time emotionly for all of you.  I will pray for strength for you and your mother.

Dear Maria,

My Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV metastic melanoma in Nov 06 and we lost her March 3.   Don't wait - plan your trip as soon as possible.  The combination of chemo/radiation takes it's toll, plus the meds to combat the symptoms.  You may notice Mom wanting to sleep more, and yes the appetite diminishes rapidly on chemo. My Mom's melanoma also went to the head, to the brain.

Take heart and spend as much time as you can with your Mom.  Of course the daily meds, dtr appointments and trying to come up with new food combinations that Mom may like can be exhausting.  Get her to the best doctors for a second opinion, either Sloan Kettering in NY or MD Anderson in Texas if possible.  We did that, and Mom's local oncologist coordinated with the specialists.

But, it's imporant to remember that this illness does not touch your Mom's soul.  It's her body that's breaking down, but the Mom you love will never change.  Take time and enjoy trips, conversations and memories with her.  It could be as simple as taking Mom for a long ride in the car and just talking.  I promise these simple moments will be profound in the future.  Also, take care of you. 

God Bless and may he guide you during the difficult time. You're in my prayers...... 

. 

My father was diagnosed in August. He had two surgeries three months apart to attempt to control. april 10 he was given 3-6 months. He passed on May 12. Don't wait. Spend all the time you can building memories. God bless you.

My friend has just recently been diagnosed with Stage IV metastic melanoma and has been given 6-12 months to live.  She had A tumor in her brain they removed and now has one on her throat and in her spine. I hope you get to take the trip soon with your mother. I am so sorry. I haven't figured out how to help my friend yet but hopefully with this support system we can all learn to cope.

To those of you who have lost loved ones to melanoma, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.  But, Maria, Stage IV melanoma doesn't ALWAYS equal a death sentence.  A close family friend was diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma last year, and she went through a few rounds of biochemotherapy, and her cancer is now in remission. 

No, it's not that easy (yeah right, like biochemo is really easy!) for everyone with Stage IV melanoma.  My Dad was diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma in October 06, and he's still fighting.  He has mets pretty much everywhere in his body.  You name an organ, he's got mets there.  Three rounds of biochemo kept his cancer from spreading and growing, but it was too hard on his body, so the doctors took him off of it.  He has since tried several other combinations of chemo, developed some brain mets, had stereotactic radiosurgery for them, and is now going through another round of chemo (dactimycin, carmusine, and hydroxyurea), which has been the first chemo he's taken that's been effective in shrinking some of his tumors (x-ray results only - he isn't due for another full scan for another few weeks).

I don't know why doctors give the 6-12 month prognosis, when they really have NO idea how a patient will react to the treatments given!  Some people get stage iv melanoma, and they don't make it a month.  Others live for years (we know a guy who was diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma over 15 years ago!). 

To answer your question (based only on what I know of this disease), if your mom is going through chemo right now, chances are, she won't WANT to go anywhere.  I'd advise bringing the family to her (but be careful about sick family members - especially kids - and ask the doctor about babies and children who have been vaccinated within the last 6 weeks - live vaccines are contagious and very dangerous to someone on chemo with no immune system!). 

If you haven't yet, make time to have a conversation with your mom and get some feedback from her on what she wants.  Hope this helps.