please help me

My dad was diagnosed in January 07 with PC.  They attempted the whipple but was not able to do it because it was around veins and arteries.  My dad is a very stubbern man and doesn't like to make us worried.  They did reroute ducts from his liver and other things and put in a stint so he would not be so jaundice.  I feel so stupid that I really don't know much about his condition, but I do live over 1000 miles from him and I can't be there all of the time.  He is plain out miserable.  They did offer him a low dose chemo if he could get his streangth up but I don't see that happening at all.  He has always been very over weight his entire life but now he has lost over 120 lbs since Christmas.  I think I just really want to know what happens next??? He has been so weak he just cancels all of his doctors appointments and when I try and talk him into just going to the emergency room he keeps putting it off.  In Feb they told us that it was stage IVB, but he has not had any tests done since then because hes so miserable.  They can't seem to get a pain med that will help him.  And now all of the sudden his joints are hurting his really bad.  We got him a walker so he can use it for going to the restroom but just trying to pull himself to it makes him scream out in pain.  I really don't know what to do...........Like I said hes a very stubborn man who does not like help from anyone and he really just wants this to be over........I'm scared and I know he is to.  I know that he is getting jaundiced again and I would really like to know what to possibly expect next.  His doctors aren't really seeming to be pushing him to do anything but lie there and die.  And I know we should take him to another doctor but he will refuse.  Hes been through 3-4 already.  Please let me know what are the last things that usually happen. How do when know when its getting close to the end??? Please...............

On 5/24/2007 Codynlevi wrote:

My dad was diagnosed in January 07 with PC.  They attempted the whipple but was not able to do it because it was around veins and arteries.  My dad is a very stubbern man and doesn't like to make us worried.  They did reroute ducts from his liver and other things and put in a stint so he would not be so jaundice.  I feel so stupid that I really don't know much about his condition, but I do live over 1000 miles from him and I can't be there all of the time.  He is plain out miserable.  They did offer him a low dose chemo if he could get his streangth up but I don't see that happening at all.  He has always been very over weight his entire life but now he has lost over 120 lbs since Christmas.  I think I just really want to know what happens next??? He has been so weak he just cancels all of his doctors appointments and when I try and talk him into just going to the emergency room he keeps putting it off.  In Feb they told us that it was stage IVB, but he has not had any tests done since then because hes so miserable.  They can't seem to get a pain med that will help him.  And now all of the sudden his joints are hurting his really bad.  We got him a walker so he can use it for going to the restroom but just trying to pull himself to it makes him scream out in pain.  I really don't know what to do...........Like I said hes a very stubborn man who does not like help from anyone and he really just wants this to be over........I'm scared and I know he is to.  I know that he is getting jaundiced again and I would really like to know what to possibly expect next.  His doctors aren't really seeming to be pushing him to do anything but lie there and die.  And I know we should take him to another doctor but he will refuse.  Hes been through 3-4 already.  Please let me know what are the last things that usually happen. How do when know when its getting close to the end??? Please...............

So sorry about your father. My father of 55 yrs has this awful cancer too.

My father goes to the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA) and Docs have told us that PC pateints usually die from melnutrition before the cancer actually gets them. With such rapid weight loss in your father and mine its pretty beleivable. They have surgecly hooked up a feeding tube for my dad for this purpose. You mentioned though that your dad was stubborn and just wants it over. If thats his wishes. All that I can recomend is some how taking care of his pain till it is over. I kid you not, he is in unbearable pain if he is not taking anything. I want so much to hear that he goes to the oncoligist, but I know there are thoughs people that just won't. It has to be so hard for you to know he is not getting treated for PC. Without any kind of treatment it surly will be fatal. If he does not pass from malnutrition expect the tumer to spred (with no treatment) to his near by organs liver ect. Pancrease is located between spine and stomach when growing it can eat though the stomach and cause internal bleeding. So expect dark vomiting or black bowl movements. This will be blood. If more red it means the bleeding is new or had less ditance it traveled. If your father does not go to ER if this happens he will bleed out. Though if he goes to ER they will just give him blood tranfusions. By that point it won't matter much if the tumor has ate his stomach. I guess hun that it all depends on the action that he takes now. I am sorry to be so blunt in my wording. Every BODY is different, this is what I have saw PC cancer do. My father is in his last stages and I don't want him in pain anymore. Nor do I want your in pain. Seek pain relief for him. Pain releif can come in patches, disolving pills, regular pills. He may have to see a doc to get such a strong pain releivers. I wish the best of luck with your father. I pray for miricles to happen every day. 

Cody,

Sorry to hear about your dad.  I can only offer you my prayers.  How terrible this must be for your dad & you.  There is probably things going on there that you might not know or are aware of, since you live so far away that would make things more complicated.  I am praying that he is receiveing help that he desperatly needs and you will be informed of his needs and the help he is receiving.  I just had cancer myself, so I know it is very scary and I knew nothing about it and really would rather not know! But somehow I had to know some of it, and some is a mystery yet.  Just try to hang in there and just let him know how much you care as I'm sure thats what you are doing, and I know he appreciates that.  Just doing small things like drink of water or change of subject really was nice for me.

God Bless, Joanna

On 5/28/2007 Redstar wrote:

My father goes to the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA) and Docs have told us that PC pateints usually die from melnutrition before the cancer actually gets them. With such rapid weight loss in your father and mine its pretty beleivable. They have surgecly hooked up a feeding tube for my dad for this purpose. You mentioned though that your dad was stubborn and just wants it over. If thats his wishes. All that I can recomend is some how taking care of his pain till it is over. I kid you not, he is in unbearable pain if he is not taking anything. I want so much to hear that he goes to the oncoligist, but I know there are thoughs people that just won't. It has to be so hard for you to know he is not getting treated for PC. Without any kind of treatment it surly will be fatal. If he does not pass from malnutrition expect the tumer to spred (with no treatment) to his near by organs liver ect. Pancrease is located between spine and stomach when growing it can eat though the stomach and cause internal bleeding. So expect dark vomiting or black bowl movements. This will be blood. If more red it means the bleeding is new or had less ditance it traveled. If your father does not go to ER if this happens he will bleed out. Though if he goes to ER they will just give him blood tranfusions. By that point it won't matter much if the tumor has ate his stomach. I guess hun that it all depends on the action that he takes now. I am sorry to be so blunt in my wording. Every BODY is different, this is what I have saw PC cancer do. My father is in his last stages and I don't want him in pain anymore. Nor do I want your in pain. Seek pain relief for him. Pain releif can come in patches, disolving pills, regular pills. He may have to see a doc to get such a strong pain releivers. I wish the best of luck with your father. I pray for miricles to happen every day. 

Dear Redstare,

i am so sorry to hear your Dad is so sick, I know what you are going through, my Husband has PC and has just started, not to eat, he has stomach pain and back pain, the Doctor has giving him pain medicine, which helps some, has a hard time sleeping at night, and up and down all day long. Pspank.