Hopelessness/Hopefullness

I have stage IV breast cancer, mets to the bone. I have an extensive family/community/religious support system and I am extremely grateful. Every 4 months I have CT scans and bone scans. The bone cancer has not been spreading, with hormonal treatment and tamoxifen for 1 year. Each time before the scans and results I am unbearable to be with. I wait for the other shoe to drop. I am waiting for the words, "it is spreading again." I am 41 years old with 5 daughters, a supportive husband. Sometimes tho, I feel I should give up and let them go on. How do you go on with the uncertainty and dread?

My heart goes out to you Tammy in your struggle sincerely. but please try not to lose hope...your children need you, need you to believe & hope so that they can also do the same. You would want them to do the same if this situation were reversed wouldn't you? Do you honestly think that they would be willing to go & just leave you behind to move on??! I really am not trying to preach or lecture...I'm sorry if it is coming out that way. I just have such strong feelings about this I cannot explain it any other way. I have heard many stories of women with your stage/grade that have beaten this monster. So there is always hope, just keep on looking for that light & reaching for your families love to get you through. Much respect & faith, Julie

Please Tammy don't give up. You have gone through so much to date, giving up now is just the wrong way to go. FIGHT,FIGHT,FIGHT. Everyday is a fight, but it must be fought.
2 and 1/2 year ago when I was told that I had small cell lung cancer and that I really did not have much of a chance. 3 months, maybe 4 or 5 months. For the last 2 years everytime I have a CT or PET. or feel a strange pain or whatever is the problem of the day, yes I think maybe it's back. It has never come back, and it won't. Yet tomorrow morning if I wake with a headache, I will start thinking. Tammy we have a teribble illness, but some of us do get better. I joined a Cancervive group locally in Naples, FL. They are wonderfull. Ask a question and someone has been through it before. Ask at your Doctors, at local hospitals, call the American Cancer socity
and find out what supports are available.
Please don't give up, PLEASE!

I highly recommend the book "A Cancer Battle Plan: Six Strategies for Beating Cancer, from a Recovered 'Hopeless Case'".

The author had advanced breast cancer that failed all standard medical treatments. She even had an autologous bone marrow transplant, which included taking a normally-lethal dose of chemo to kill all the cancer, but the cancer came back. She was sent home to die. But after getting serious about using alternative therapies (before the come-back cancer had much time to regrow), she beat it! She's been cancer-free for several years.

The alternative therapies are NOT easy to do! But they made the difference between death and life! Mainly, they involve a radical change in diet, cleansing the body of accumulated toxins, faith, hope and love and laughter.

I bought the book on amazon.com a while back. It was very encouraging!

Hi Tammy, My name is Jeff, age 48. I was diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma stage four in 1999. Had my galbladder and left lobe of my liver removed. I declined any modern day treatments to date. The Cancer went to both of my lungs in 2001. I moved to Maine in 2000 to help out my parents for awhile, then moved to Kansas in 2002 just in time to witness the birth of my Grandson and now have witnessed the birth of a granddaughter. I have tripled my vitimins and minerals and drink Essiac Tea daily. I eat a lot of fruit and oats. I pray each night that if this is what God wants that is fine as there must be a purpose. But I also pray that my work on earth is not done as many people can use my help. I assist people with mental retardation and handicaps. Just last week my Cat Scan showed minimal grow with some tumors, some tumors did not increase in size, and some tumors actually decreased in size. So, as the others who replied to your message DON'T GIVE UP BE POSTIVE AND TAKE CONTROL. Be active, be loving, be loved, and love yourelf! Yes! things could change tomorrow but I look at tomorrow as today. It is 2004 and I'll be seeing 2005 as well! Yes I went through te emotions of shock, anger, depression. Even when they operated and opened me from bow to stern, I felt so violated! But with anti-depressant and sedative (very low dose) 100mg and 10mg respectively I am doing everything now as in 1999. Have you ever listen to Tim McGraw Country Artist? "Live like your Dying" is one of his songs and it really sends a message to me. God Bless You and Your Family! Go skydiving! and keep saying I know I can even though you and I both know there are no guarantees. Jeff and my supportive wife Valerie.

Tammy...
My name is Ed (age 45), married w/4 children. I was diagnosed with Stage IV Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in March of 2003. I had all lymph nodes involved, bone marrow, and 4 tumors which manifested on top of my scalp. The doctors said my disease is incurable. I was extremely devastated. I felt so helpless. I have gone through 6 months of Chemo, and monoclonal antibody therapy and have been declared in remission only for the doctors to tell me its only a matter of time and it will return. I have survived by maintaining strong faith and trust that I had much more to offer to others by doing everything I could to get better. I am in the medical field and I wanted to get back to taking care of patients instead of being one. I wanted to find out everything I could to live my life without a dark cloud looming over my head. I did alot of internet research and came across several key books and web-sites that were extremely beneficial. With me being in the medical field I particularly searched for things that I could validate by many sources and research. I came across two books that in my opinion are absolutely essential. The first is a book called "Hope - Beating cancer in mind sized bites" by Vickie Girard. This book is about Vickie's struggle with breast cancer not once but twice. She was not given much hope until she described how she found out how much the power of nutrition brought her back to a place where she is now cancer free. It is a very powerful and riveting story and very easy to read. She did a consultation by the author of another book called "Beating Cancer with Nutrition" by Patrick Quillan - www.patrickquillan.com I also after reading vickie's book did a consultation with Dr. Quillan who has his doctorate degree, is a nutrition specialist and has worked with hundreds of cancer patients with amazing success. I have followed the books info and I am amazing my doctors with my progress. No more tumors, no active disease and I feel great with a much more improved outlook. I trust that this helps you and gives you hope as others have said please do not give up but pray for faith to endure. You will amaze yourself and continue to touch others with your life. Tammy, my wife and I will pray for you. Ed

I noticed in your reply that you focused on nutrition, cleansing etc. I was hoping you had some advice on how to start living healthy after chemo, radiation, and surgeries. I am approaching my year mark since a single mastectomy and would like to live a healthier life. I'm 37 with 2 small children.

I empathize with you sincerely. I too have stage IV breast cancer. Mine is slipping through the lymphnodes. Two additional tumors were found. I have been bouncing between chemotherapy treatments and radiation for two years now. NON STOP. Nutrition keeps me going along with my family and employer support. I work 40 hours a week in an Alzheimers facility. It helps my attitude about my cancer. They have no idea what is happening to them and watching the families struggle makes me appreciate life more each day. You see my problem is my cancer is chemotherapy resistant and progresses rapdily if left unchecked for a month. I have tried AC, Taxotere, Xeloda, Navelbeine, Taxol and Carbo12. I have been in a new protocol through Seattle Cancer Care injunction with Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center and the University of Washington Medical Center. I refuse to lose. I will keep on trying. Find something to keep your mind off the disease. Focus on living each precious day. It's how long we live, but how we live. Most of all Attitude is 90%. So get some attitude girl and get living. It is worth it. Remember you are not alone.

Teejay