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Mom With Pancreatic Cancer

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Subject: Mom with Pancreatic Cancer
Date: 06/12/2007

My mom is 67 was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in Februrary; this was after she had undergone abdominal surgery for an aneurysm in January.  She had become jaundiced and when they did a CT scan they saw the tumor on her pancreas.  Upon further examination, they realized that it was inoperable. 

They proceeded with Chemo and radiation, which was just awful on her. Vomiting, diarrhea.  She just was tortured the 7 weeks she was on it.  Over the last month and half, her eating and drinking has been dimished.  We celebrate when she eats 1/4 of a baked potato.  She has become increasingly confused, not remembering what medication she just took, but then can remember conversations of a year ago. 

I went down on Mother's Day and again this past weekend (she and my dad live 3 hours away).  She looks so much worse than the last time I saw her.  She is skin and bones and is very weak.  I had to help her get a bath and shampoo her hair, just something I never expected to have to do.  We have enlisted the help of hospice.  I just don't know how much longer she has.  There are times where she is totally coherent and then the next she is staring off in to space.

She is the worst I have ever seen her. How do I know when it takes the final turn? 

I'm so sorry for anyone who is going through this; this is the most horrible, most difficult thing I have ever gone through.  I am only 30 years old; not ready to lose my mom.

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