infection of unsuccesful whipple

My mother was dx on 4/24/06 had surgery on 4/26/06 for a stint.  on 5/3/06 they attempted a whipple but could not remove the tumor.  She had numerous infections and spent 3 weeks in the hospital.  They sent her home with a terrible infected wound that had a lot of dead tissue--i describe this as huge white chunks.  She was home for one week and then we had to take her back to the hospital as she was very nauseated.  The did another surgery--the had to clean out the absess under the stomach muscle tissue as it was "dead tissue".  She spent another 11 days in the hospital and was sent home this friday.  She is very very weak, and eats less than 500 calories.  She is on a cocktail of antibiotics and is very nauseous and has diarhea.  Her wound is looking better the surgeon tells us that after it heals she can go for chemo.  It seems like it is never going to heal and i am afraid my mother, who is 63, is giving up.  She is living with me and 2 children and my husband.  We cannot leave her alone for 5 minutes as she cannot get herself off of the toilet. I don't know what to do for her.  I tried "tough love" trying to get her to eat.  I told her last night if she is giving up to let me know so i can call hospice.  She says she is not depressed.  We all are depressed.  She will sit in the room all day w/out watching tv and is sleeping 20-22 hours per day.  I know that most pc patients starve themselves to death --Is this what is happening?  It is so difficult to see such a vibrant person, loving mother, grandmother, go through this.  And i feel selfish--as i keep thinking what am I going to do w/out her and my kids as she is a huge part of our lives..  Is she starving herself---if so how long does it take?  What can I do?

My dad (age 81) underwent a whipple on May 31st and had to go back into emergency surgery a few days later because of a complication with the feeding tube.  He was in ICU for 29 days following surgery.  Because the feeding tube was removed, he was given TPN (by vein) and quickly became very malnourished.  Because of that, it has slowed his healing considerably.  When the staples were removed, the wound quickly reopened and he had a lot of necrotic (dead) tissue beneath the surface.  He continues to receive wound care treatment and I have to clean and pack the wound twice a day (he has two fairly large "holes" in his abdomen).

 My dad also has a decreased appetite, which I understand is typical following this procedure.

 Encourage your mom to eat several small meals a day (high in protein - according to one of my dad's docs) instead of three larger meals, which will in turn help her heal more quickly.

I also understand depression is commonly associated with PC and following whipple.  Antidepressants may help - or possibly find a support group in your area for not only your mom to attend but also your family.

Thanks for your reply.  I had to take my mom back to the hospital again today as she has another absess and the drainage was pancreatic juice and irritated her skin--they put another drain in and did a ct scan to see if they drain it by needle.  her whipple (unsuccesful) was done may 3.  Her wound is almost healed except for about a 2 inch area---where it is still draining.  We are waiting on this to heal and we have an appt scheduled to see the oncologist. The surgeon told her he wants her out of the hospital asap as he wants her to enjoy what life she has left.  This is very hard for my mom to hear and she was crying a lot today.  I keep praying for a miracle!! I wish you and your family well!