Partners even more likely than survivors to experience fear and worry over long term, study finds
by Melba on Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 AM
I have a cousin who is very close to me though she llives at a distance from me. I am going to see her for two weeks to spend some time with her. She is nearing her ending stages of ovarian cancer. She has had drastic personality changes in the last few weeks. She obsesses about irrational things; has become extremely nasty to her family members - even in e-mails. She has eliminated people from her life left and right - including her best friends - wanting to sue them. She is an intelligent and kind woman, a former college professor - yet she is turning into a person whom none of us know or recognize. This is all the more difficult because this is the way she will be remembered by many. She has already cut her brother and sister from her life and all of their families. She has issued a warning to me via e-mail that I am not to talk about cures, second opinions or the experiences of others with the same disease. She will accept no help or counseling. He husband is beside himself. In addition to all this she has lived with polio and post-polio syndrome all her life and had breast cancer 5 years ago.It is understandable that she has immense anger and bitterness. I am so apprehensive about this trip. I just want to be there and understand what is happening without causing her any more undo stress. I certainly respect her right to live and die as she wants to. Her husband cannot reason with her. He is very loving and supportive.
Is there any medication that can help her with this personality change? Her husband would like to know but can't seem to talk to the doctor out of her sight. Thank you for any help you can offer.
by Littlec on Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:00 AM
The personality changes are the hardest thing of all to cope with when you already are grief stricken and so worried about someone. I keep telling myself that it is not really my mom talking or behaving certain difficult ways, but the chemotherapy and medications and stress and physical fatigue and sickness...
My moms personality changed so drastically after her original surgery that all of us family could only scratch our heads (and cry) in bewilderment. We thought maybe she had a stroke during the surgery because she was like a stranger. I really think that this component of the chemotherapy/surgery/disease should be more thoroughly studied and explained to caregivers and family members as it is so very difficult and painful for everyone.
My mom is more back to her old self after one year and the end of the first round of chemo...thank-god....I cherish these calmer times.
Losing someone to cancer is 1000 times more unbearable with these personality difficulties....just try to bear thru it and not take anything personal and be there for them as best as you can. I know it is just so very very hard. Remember them as they truly were.
Medication for the personality I know nothing about. God bless you.
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