This Can't Be Real!

I still can't believe this is really happening.  My 57 y/o sister, who was the picture of health with a zeal for life, is struggling with Stage IV Colon Cancer and not doing well at all.  I fear that she is not responding to her treatments now and it is all happening so fast.  She's lost an enormous amount of weight and has significant pain.  She is terrified.  We just lost our father 3 years ago and it's been so hard to heal from that loss.  This all seems like a bad dream to me and I feel panicky at times.  It just doesn't seem real.  How does this stuff happen?  We've also had so many other losses that I can't catch my breath.  But this is just too much to bear.  I'm feeling stripped of my faith so I'm a lost soul.

Does anyone else go through this?  What do you do to help yourself through it?

 

 

I can relate to what you're feeling.  My father is 66 and is dealing with Stage IV kidney cancer.  We've tried two different treatments and were told last week that the most recent isn't working.  It's hard to sit with the man who's been so strong all his life and see his face when they break that news.  He's my "light" and I hate that he has to go through it.  I'm supposed to be the strong one, right?  I'm supposed to offer words of encouragement.  But it's so difficult to do that sometims.  I cry a lot.  Of course unless a person's gone through it, or is currently going through it, they really can't understand.   

Please please look into Vitamin C therapy via I.V

I am so sorry to hear the distress in the post. The only thing I can offer is to say that I know exactly how you feel.  My father's been fighting an inoperable, stage 3b lung cancer for almost 2 years. He's been doing better than I could have hoped for, but I'm not naive to believe that our luck will last forever. My mother died almost eleven years ago from colon cancer.  She had just turned 53. I still miss her tremndously and think of her every day. I was sixteen, my youngest sisters were ten. What do I do get through it: I try and keep positive and spend time with my father while I still have him.  What does he do? It's funny, a lot of people mention their faith getting them through this, praying, etc. He's an atheist and doing better than my mother who was somewhat religious.  One thing that has helped him, I think, is a strategy of denial.  He's taken his treatment, had a few surgeries to address some of his symptoms and radiation complications, but he has told hardly anyone of his condition. Therefore, he's been able to prevent his whole life from becoming about cancer.  Now that is harder to do when you are unwell (dealing day-to-day with atrocious symptoms), but I think there's also something to be said for distraction and giving yourself a break from all of this. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. On a positive note, although my mother suffered, it seems like treatments have improved some in the last ten years. And I do have a positive story.  My father's friend had a fairly advanced colon cancer that spread to his liver (which was what killed my mother). He was able to have it operated on and is doing well. He has scans every three months. God bless!

 Sheila

Keeping hold of your faith is very difficult, as sometimes it seems that your cries are not being heard, but please continue to pray and believe God is listening. If you are a believer, you know that God has a plan, and the best thing we can do is turn it all over to Him. Let him carry some of the burden! I spent the last 10 days of my sister's life, sharing a bed with her, telling her stories about our childhood, holding her hand, bathing her with warm water, and giving her the pain meds that keep her from me but also kept her pain free. She was 44 years old when she died of brain mets from breast cancer. This was September 2006. I left her side when the funeral home picked her up from her home. When I returned to my home state, I continued the care for my dad, who had lung cancer & lived with me & my family. Seven months after my sister died, dad died in April of this year, of lung cancer with mets to brain. I spent the last year of his life bathing, feeding, changing, sharing childhood stories, and finally, giving him meds which took him further from me but kept him pain free. I don't pretend to know any answers. All I know is that sometimes, all you have is faith, and the idea of turning from that is more frightening than anything else. Now, I have to try to remember how to live, as I have only been a caretaker for so long. God is not a vendictive God. He loves us and we must never forget that. 

Love every day - say everything you ever wanted to say and remember the good times - I have watched my husband fight melanoma and we lost - please talk about everything and wake up every day thinking today may be the day a new cure is found - my heart goes out to you - all the best x

I understand completely! My mom was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme (stage iv brain tumor) 3/06 and she passed away 4/20/2007. Then my uncle passed away on 5/18/07 and my 18 yr old cousin was killed in a car wreck in June. It is completely and utterly overwhelming sometimes. It sounds so cliche but you really do have to take it one day at a time. It also helps to have someone to talk to. I use this board sometimes to just vent. You said that you were feeling stripped of your faith- Tell God- cry and yell it at him- get it out- then ask him to give you strength and understanding. You may be going through this time so that you can help others who experience the same thing.

 

One more thing- My aunt has stage iv colon cancer- she was diagnosed in2004 and she is doing great! Her last several MRI's have came back clear- she can't say she's cancer free but she is def managing it. There is hope!