Mom Diagnosed Stage 4 -please Pray & Help

After a wk of many tests, my Mom a young 75 was dx at stage 4. She believes in alternative med however drs push on chemo treatments. At present, she is off oxygen (was a smoker for 60 years) and looks fine. She is shopping for a wig in preparation for chemo. The drs are not very specific with their info and we continue to seek answers. She has always put everyone else first esp us kids and now we must focus on HER well being. We have always been poor in material things but gratefully enjoy a very close family. A wide variety of experiences with chemo cause us to question the benefits of this treatment and we continue to seek other options or some in conjunction with chemo. We live in Mass. but welcome any advice and referrals. We are praying for a miracle and I will include each of you in my prayers and thank God for each day that we all can experience together. God bless.

You should check out www.lchelp.com. It is a much more active board and has a special section for alternative/complementary care remedies. Take care.

Hi Rick M, You did not say if your mom was given the option of having surgery first for removal of her tumor..Has she spoken with a Gynecological-Oncology-Surgeon? What were his recommendations? The standard chemo for Ovarian Cancer is Carboplatin and Taxol. Both are very tolerable and they have meds to offset many of the side effects (except hair loss! so it is good your mom is getting a wig). And it is good that she is going ahead with the treatment. I know that prayer goes along way in helping heal the mind and body and my prayers are with you and your family as you and your mom face this new and unwanted experience. What I learned in my past year of dealing with Stage 3 OVCA, surgery, chemo and remission, is that quality of life must be considered in all choices made. Knowledge is power, so learn all you can, get second opinions and even thirds if your mom is not comfortable with who is talking with her. She sounds like a very lucky mom to have such a wonderfully supportive and loving family beside her. Keep in touch. There are some really great websites that offer great information and advice: acor.org has online discussion boards for all types of cancer and also for caregivers and thewellnesscommunity.org - they also provide an online support group weekly if you are interested in joining that. Big hugs and Huge prayers...She is blessed to have you.

Dear Alisa, Thanks for the Referral. The Gynec Oncologist is also pushing radical surgery asap. to remove all female organs and to debulk her large mass, then following with chemo for 6 months. My mom is unsure of what to do between the oncologist encourage of surgery and my sister's promoting chemo as well. I understand that my Mom is interested in quality of life not merely breathing for the next few years. Again, thank you so much for your prayers and response. God bless you.

Dear Joan: My mom has just seen a gynecological oncologist who is encouraging radical surgery to remove all female organs plus debulking of tumor and any other organs effected. She is trying to wait until after the holidays since she wants to be with us and grandchildren. They proposed an induction chemo next week BEFORE the surgery and then 6 mos of chemo after the surgery. I sincerely wish to thank you for the referral and I'll be sure to have Mom check those sites. We appreciate your prayers and support as well. You will be remembered in our prayers as well and we wish you all a happy holiday season. We are so fortunate to have someone like our mother in our life. If we hand't been blessed with her as our Mom, we'd have picked her for our friend. She has great faith in the Lord, in love and trusts that God is the only one who will determine her actual lifespan. Knowledge is power and we continue to read as much material as we can process. God bless once again. Thanks

Dear Rick M., The recommendations your mom received from the gyn/onc (is this person also a surgeon?) sounds like the standard treatment procedure, but I don't know about the chemo before hand. At her age it seems that would make it more difficult for her to handle the major surgery. I would really get another opinion about that before agreeing. Surgery is very important. I had stage 3 - they saw an 11x16 cm tumor in my abd. but when they went in it was several large tumors on many organs, I had the hysterectomy, and lucky it had not invaded the bladder or intestines. One very important recommendation I have for you is for your mom to speak to a Gyn-Onc-surgeon. And, if she goes ahead with surgery, for you to be with her when she wakes in ICU after and with her day and night in the hospital...my recovery went so much easier and quicker having my sister and daughter with me all the way through. Yes, they slept there too. There were never enough nurses and the grouchy ones were so annoying :) My surgeon let them stay as did the nurses. We were even fortunate that my room had a reclining chair/bed for my sister to sleep in. Wishing you all hope and love while you search for the answers that will be best for your mom. Hugs and prayers. JoanMarie

Dear Rick- My heart goes out to you. My mother just died at age 59 from stage four pancreatic cancer. She tried a series of different chemotherapy treatments and fought her cancer for just over 18 months. I must say though that every one responds different to chemotherapy & sadly, my mother was proabably an exception in terms of survival from the disease. I will say this though- if there are options your mother may be thinking about- explore them- & follow your gut. For my mother- she actually had some positive response -(in stabilizing her cancer) from chemo- but she also paid the price- she had good days & bad days. My other was also younger & very active- still hiking & cross country skiing at the time. I hesitate to give you any false hope because as you know the statistics are grim. We went to many facilities for second opinions- to make sure we were doing the right thing. But honestly I'm not sure anyone knows what treatment is best. Many of the non-chemo or biologic treatments are in the experimental stages & it is often difficult to find a local facility where they are running these trials. In some trials or using experimental drugs- patients are excluded from participation because they have received chemo in the past. Whatever you do- make sure you tell your mother how you feel about her & live each day as if it is the last. I always thought I would have more time to say goodbye (there never really is enough time). Just one week before my mother's death- she had a cat scan with amazingly positive results... but then died from an unexpected complication. cancergov.com or pancan are two good resources for research info. Our family has done a lot of research - if you have avy specific questions we would love to help. Best of luck. Kerry