Overwhelmed, But Grateful . . .

In five short weeks our lives changed with a whirlwind of circumstances.  My husband, 69,was diagnosed with rectal cancer, we were forced to sell or get rid of almost everything we owned in order to move into a smaller place, and I am now the caregive, cook, gardener, laundress, chaauffeur & care giver - a woman of many hats.  After being down myself for the better part of 10 years with severe Fibromyalgia, the tables have now been turned and my husband is on the receiving end, suffering with the awful symptoms of chemotherpay - his first of many, I am sure.

The CAT scan showed that the cancer is encapsulated inside the tumors so I'm thinking that is a very good sign, and praying I am right.  So much has been thrust upon me so quickly that I find myself in overdrive just trying to catch up.  I want to know all I can about doing what is best & handling each situation that arises with the utmost care and love. I know it's really hard on him to be the receiver rather than the giver, and he is struggling with that issue a bit.  Lightheartedly I just told him he had it pretty good, whatwith being able to watchcowboy movies all day and have room service!!  But it is really difficult and challenging for both of us, as many or all of you already know.

I hope to be able to find a few good friends here that will make the journey less lonely.  I think that's what I'm missing most of all right now -  Jim is home all the time, but not very present, and I don't expect him to be.

 I'm so sorry for all of you that are suffering and can see I'll be on my knees a LOT in this group.

Gosh, your situation sounds all too familiar. My husband was diagnosed just over two years ago. He's been through so much that I never dreamed a person could go through. I too struggled with fibromyalgia for several years and my husband was right by my side, supporting me all along the way. My husband is Jim also. He is taking his chemo here at home. He can't even get out of bed without my help. He sleeps a lot. I miss him so much, even when he's right here next to me. I don't even know how I feel sometimes. It's so hard. My heart goes out to you. I understand. You hang in there, okay?

I,too, am walking in your shoes.  My husband has stage 4 lung cancer with mets to the bones in 3 places.  In 2 months time he is not the same person.  He sleeps most of the time and is miserable when awake and can be demanding but I try to be patient.

Is it wrong to want your life back?  I feel guilty going out for an hour and even going to work is a break even though I worry while I am gone.  I do everything alone because he is too sick to go out.  I know that sounds like a pity party but today has been one of those days.  I just feel like the cancer is killing both of us and I hate all of it - the Dr's and meds and appointments and chemo.  Then I feel so bad for feeling this way.  Let me know if any of you feel the same so I won't feel so guilty.  Thanks,  Margaret

I to feel overwhelmed some days, I'm a care giver for 2 people with cancer, my daughter has 4th stage melanoma and my mother is in 5th stage ovarin cancer, I am 1 of 8 childeren, so  I get alot of help with my mother, but my daughter has 4 babys I have to help with and her husband in on the army, plus I work a full time job, I no that you don't want to feel this way, but it is okay, to have a bad day, he understand more than you think he does, you can talk to me any time you like, I find that when I'm feeling that way, I go do something nice for my mom ro daughter, because, they are more stressed out and overwelmed, than we are, and 1 day we will have to say good by, that overwelmes me more than the cancer. Keep your chin up and give him a hug when you feel that way.