Wife Of Hodgkins Needs Support

My husband who is 32 has had this for seven years and has had many chemo treatments even a stem cell from his own stem cells and it was rough.We have a beautiful 2yr old son haveing him helps alot,but now he is on a new chemo and he just in two days cant walk so they did a bone scan and we go tomorrow to the drs to see whats going on and i hate test days because you dont know what to expect.It has been seven years and never seem to get easier any suggestion on how to cope!

Hi,

I also am a wife of Hodgkins. My husband has been in remission for almost 2 years now and we have three very small children.  My heart goes out to you!!!  You have been going through this so long, and with a small child.  I know how hard it is going through this with small children.  I know that most of the time you probably feel you are doing everything , you are the mommy and the daddy a lot of the time.  Its so hard.  Some days I wonder how I got through that time in our lives, its seems like  a blur now.    I do know this, prayer is the most important thing for you right now.  God will see your family through this!!!!   Just when you feel like you are at your breaking point, He will lift you back up.   You have to stay strong for your husband and child, you are the one that is going to get your family through this.     Also, friends and family play a key role here.  They may not be the best at truly understanding what you are going through (they cant), but they will get you through this time also.  Stay active with friends as much as you can, they will keep you laughing. 

You are stronger than you think, you will get through this, so will your husband!!  Sometimes people forget about the caregiver, but you are going thruogh this too!   I look back now at the time when my husband was sick and in treatments, and I truly wonder how I did it.  I wonder at my own strenght during that time.  You have that same strenght too and some day you will look back on it.   Your husband needs you now more than ever, and by caring for him during this time, you both will develop an unbreakable bond with each other.  In a strange way, this disease will strenghten your marriage.  God Bless you and your family!!!!  Please message me if you need a to talk. 

Thank you so much for your support and it is so true that you feel like you are doing everything and i think that the worst part is that i feel so helpless sometimes ,you want to make it better.How many chemos did your husband go through?We went through a stem cell transplant and i think that that one was the hardest of them all because it is so risky.He was diagnosed a year after we were dateing and after a few dr visits the dr asked him if I was still around because a lot of people leave,I couldnt even imagine leaveing him when he needed me most.He has also had abvd chemo and radiation,thalimide,rituxin,gemzar then the stem cell transplant that  didnt work and now is trying velcade.The kicker is that he was a body builder when i met him.Well thanks for listen to me go on and i also agree that prayer is a big part of helping us get through this and that is where i get my stregnth from!Thank you again and god bless you and your your family.

                                                          Thanks Liz

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Liz,

You are not going on and on, no worries.  Its always great to have someone to talk to that understands everything you are going through.  My husband went through 8 rounds of ABVD and then 3 weeks of radiation.  (That seems like nothing compared to what your husband is going through).  He was diagnosed with Hodgkins 2b, it was in his neck and chest and he had symptoms present.  We were married for 10 years and had three children, the youngest was 3wks. old when he was diagnosed. My heart goes out to you for your ongoing struggle, its such a long time to be going through all of this.  It is such a horrible thing to go through as a patient and a caregiver, but like I said before, it really does in an odd way strengthen your marriage. 

I have no idea what the stem cell transplant must be like, or the last treatment that you mentioned?  I know it has to be awful for both of you.  My thoughts are with you.  Also, another outlet that I really poured myself into was excercise. I dont know what free time you do have (probably not much with a little one and your husbands treatments), but if you can get in an hour or so to yourself sometime during the day, it really does work miracles for your sanity.  Just anything you can do, I always felt calm, centered, and like I could cope with the situation.  Hang in there and dont feel like you are going on and on.  We have to support each other.  I wish I would  have had someone in my situation to talk to during my husband's treatments.  So, message me anytime.

 

Robin