Relatives,Friends reactions

Please be strong. I believe that the truth is the way to go. Cancer is not your fault and nothing to be ashamed of. You are a fighter! Listen to your heart. Its really hard not to feel alone in all of it. You are not alone. Everone one on this site is behind you! Sending you peace and perfect health.

The response that I do not like to hear is "think positive, it's all in the attitude that you have".  I listened to a well wisher preach to me for about 10 minutes.  When I tried to change the subject,he continued.  I walked away.  This person has never had cancer before.  Or a close family member.  What right does he have to preach to me when I try my best to keep a smile on my face in public. I am thankful that my husband is doing so well at this point.  Being that one other person that I know just passed away this week from the same cancer, and the other person that I know that has the same kind of cancer is in and out of the hospital often,  The thought that my husband has cancer scares me.  I live it day in and day out just like the rest of you.  I don't tell people this.  I respond to them that he's doing ok when I'm asked.  I just want to scream when people think they can control my emotions and my children's emotions.  I've been told how long to expect.  I cherish every minute we have together.  I don't want people making me feel that I shouldn't feel my  emotions. 

 

I am certain everyone on this message board has encountered people that are trying to "be positive".

It's so unfortunate that others just think a positive attitude will get you thru this.  I think it really puts a lot of pressure on cancer survivors...which is certainly not what we need.  I think this "just be positive" attitude is for the sake of others.  Of course, we all need to have a positive attitude about life in general, but cancer is not positive to me.

My pet peeve is when people say the proverbial "any of us could get hit be a truck tomorrow and die".  That one really sets me off.

On 7/29/2007 Lucymullis wrote:

It's so unfortunate that others just think a positive attitude will get you thru this.  I think it really puts a lot of pressure on cancer survivors...which is certainly not what we need.  I think this "just be positive" attitude is for the sake of others.  Of course, we all need to have a positive attitude about life in general, but cancer is not positive to me.

My pet peeve is when people say the proverbial "any of us could get hit be a truck tomorrow and die".  That one really sets me off.

I get that " have a positive attitude" all the time and its hard not to get mad. They don't get it. I understand its not healthy to go down the dark path but sometimes you've gotta get MAD! Thats healthy once in a while. Yes......I've heard that "any of us could get hit by a car crap." I cringe when someone says it. Or that God has a reason for everything. Thats the biggest one that makes me sick. I hope I don't hear that again because the next person that says it is going to be dealing with a crazy Italian! I think people mean well but its hard to really understand until you here your doctor tell you ...".you have cancer."