My Mother Has Lung Cancer and Now Its in The Bones

Well in Feb. 2004 we found out mom had lung cancer she started chemo in April then in July had back surgery (she blew out 2 discs). Then she got pneumonia. She spent 5 weeks in the hospital then in October we found out the cancer was on her trachea so chemo was stopped and radiation started. This was awful. She itched so bad. She finished radiation and then December 22 went for her second treatment of chemo but was told she had pneumonia again. They gave her antibiotics thru IV and said bring her back the next day well that night her doc called and said her potassium was too high and to bring her to the hospital. As we were getting ready to go she had a bad spell and she couldn't catch her breath and managed to tell me to call 911. At this point in the emergency room she signed the DNR. She stayed in the hospital and was in severe pain in her back. A bone scan was done and now we're told the cancer is in her bones. She was giving morphine every hour. Then she came home on 12-29-04. I want to know what’s next, what can I expect; my mom is a very bitter person she has been all her life. She does not want to talk about death/dying. I tried talking to my dad but he says whatever mother wants is up to her its her body (she already said no more radiation). I am scared...I have one brother who is an alcoholic and stays drunk since we found out about the lung cancer. I have not told him about it being in the bones, I am hoping he'll have a sober day so I can tell him. I don't want anyone to keep anything from me so I won't do that to him…Thank God I have Christ in my life. He is my source of Strength!!!!!!!!!! I just want to know what to expect next so I can prepare. I would like to hear from someone. Please help me thru this.

Terrie, my thoughts and prayers are with you. My husband has been fighting esophageal cancer for 16 months which spread to lungs, liver, bone then this past July found it in brain and spine. Has had chemo and lots of radiation. We try to stay positive which is very hard. You are right about God being our source of strength, many days he is the only reason we come even go on. My husband is on oral chemo now for the brain. We try to eat well. If yor mom refuses anymore treatment, have you talked with dr. about Hospice? They can keep your mom comfortable and are a great resource and emotional help to you and your family as well as your parents. Do you live close to them? As far as what to expect next it's hard to say. Cancer is such a devil disease and seems to never react the same. I would talk with her oncologist. God bless you and I'll keep you and your family in our prayers. You do have a heavy burden but God will get you thru it. Donna

Donna, thanks for replying, I wasn't sure if anyone really reads any of this. I just found this site and my heart went out to all the people I read about. As for hospice so far my mother has not accepted the idea of it. I had a talk with her home health care nurse and I filled her in on a few things. She said that mom had my name down to give info. to so she is gonna talk to the cancer doctor and find out what she can for me and then I will know where to go from there. Mom saw her primary care Doc yesterday and again was told it was in the bones and told her he may have to up her morphine. Mom is in so much pain, I hate to see her like this. It's hard enought knowing she had cancer but to suffer is total different. Wednesday she sees her cancer doctor. I think my dad is so over whelmed with all the info and being the sole caretaker that he is not hearing everything the doc is saying. I work full time, I am a direct care staff for people (adults) with mental retardation so after working all day with this then I come home to help with what I can with mom. I am trying to get her funeral planned, while my mind is clear. As what I know right now, dad told me that the Doctor told mom yesterday to enjoy her self, so I believe she knows she has little time left. Again I am totally relying on God...Terrie

My deepest condolences to you and your family. My dear brother Nat had the same. He was diagnosed in april 2003 and had a lobectomy. In June he started experiencing back pain radiating down his legs. We brought him several times to the doctors and ER and all they kept telling him was that it was sciatica nerve. His Oncologist finally recommended an MRI and bone scan only to tell him in July 28 (his 38th birthday) that tthe cancer spread to his bone and lungs once again. Unfortunately Nat didn't make it. He passed away on Nov. 6, 2003 with me and my aunt at his bedside. I don't mean to be discouraging and I can definately relate to where you are right now. The bone cancer was extreamely painful and he was on morphine for 2 months. The main thing that helped me through that nightmare was Prayer. I had to quit my job to take care of him (both parents are also deceased) because he never married. But as difficult as it was to see him deteriorate in front of my eyes, I never showed it in front of him. I kept a strong and confident approach around him because I didn't want him to see my fears and anger. I do miss him terribly we were only 1 year apart in age and we did everything togather. I know now that he is no longer suffering. Please pray for your mom and for streagnth for yourself God will give you that. May God Bless you and your family through this difficult time. Laura

Laura, First I would like to thank you for emailing me back. This is so hard to go thru especially when I feel my dad is not accepting the fact that this is it for mom. The moriphine is not helping her back pain so the doc said today he was going to up it, mom doesn't talk about the cancer nor dying but I think she knows. She told my older brother whose is an alocholic that she was going to be with her baby (I lost my baby brother when he was 17 in a car accident 26 yrs ago). Since 1980 mom has had two strokes, 3 heart attacks, open heart surgery, colon cancer, gall bladder removed, female organs removed due to a cyst the size of a grapefruit, she has arthrisit(however you spell it). I always told her shes like a timex watch takes a lickin and keeps on tickin. I am so sorry about your brother but God forsaw some thing that we as humans don't see. That's how I am dealing with my mother. I don't want to see her suffer no more then what I already have. So I will just keep trusting My Savior every day for the time I have left with her. Thanks Terrie

Wow Terrie, your mom has sure gone through a lot throughout the years, but it seems like she has accepted her fate, unfortunately. But that doesn't mean by the grace of GOD that she wont beat this illness as she's done in the past. Nat was also on high doses of morphine, both the Duragesic pads, pills and liquid forms but that doesn't ease the pain that much, it just makes them zombie like. Has her DR recommended radiating the bone cancer? I know you said that she wanted no more radiation, but it did help Nat's pain somewhat, but Nat's cancer was very aggressive, 6 months from diagnosis to his passing. Just make sure that she eats well while on the morphine, it surpresses the appetite and they have no desire to eat, even if you have to get her those meal supliments. I will continue to Pray for you and your family. God Bless Laura