If you have lost a mother to PC-I need your stories!

I lost my precious mother, and I need help dealing with her death.

I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer on Dec. 4, 2006.  She was dx in April '06 with mets to her liver.  She tried so hard to fight this terrible disease.  She was an OR nurse and knew the horrible statistics of PC, but she would have tried anything to live.  I think for me, my grieving really started when I heard the Dr. say "this is a life ending illness".  I live over two hours from my parents and tried to spend as much time with her as I could.  I had a wonderful realationship with my mom.  She was one of my best friends and I miss her immensely.  I guess how I get through it now is that I'm just so grateful she is no longer in horrible pain.  I still have my dad so I try to keep positive and up beat for him as he learns his "new normal" after 49 years of marriage.  I also have my husband and daughters to keep me busy.  I now try take it easy and not to stress about the little things.  We all miss my mom and I try to honor her by living a good and happy life. 

I lost my beautiful mother just 2 weeks ago.   She was diagnosed Feb 3, 2007 and passed July 9, 2007.   I thought I was strong enough to fight it for her.....and she had all the faith in the world in her treatment.  It took a very quick turn the last week of June and her liver was so enlarged that the doctor told her he could not do chemo anymore.  She immediately shut down and did not communicate with us much for the last week with the exception of some blinks and toe wiggles.  I have always been aware of the awesome relationship we shared...nothing left unsaid, able to share everything and anything...therefore, I have found that one of the best ways to cope (so far) has been talking to her- and each day finding something to be strong for.   I am constantly aware that she is so much a part of me, and always has been- it is just so incredibly painful not to have her physically with me.  But, if she knew for one second that I was sad so much, she too would be sad.  And what if that held her up in part of her journey.   I have 3 and 4 year old little boys, and my oldest caught me crying the other night.  He asked me why I was so sad and when I told him, he said "Well, you can't be so sad, because you said Nana still sees everything we do and it would make her cry to see you cry"  ...and he is right!  You will use as much of what she gave you as you can, and when you think you don't have anything left- you will wake up the next day and start again.   So sorry to have rambled, but I believe that my Mom has not gone away- she's just not here exactly like she used to be.  Hang in there, and be strong-  post anytime.....everyone here is so wonderful to help where we can.

Maria

Hi-

I lost my mom to P.C. On Jan.13, 2007.  She lived 8.5 months from diagnosis.  It was already everywhere when they found it.  Sadly, we knew the prognosis was bad because her older brother also died from P.C.

She was brave and strong and never, ever complained (except when she had an MRI, she hated those).  She tried so hard to maintain her independence and dignity until the end.  And of course, like so many others, the end came quickly and out of nowhere.

Now, I am left without her.  I miss her every minute of everyday.  I wonder sometimes what a day would like if she were still here.  I could call her, see her, go shopping with her, gossip with her, you know...

My kids miss her so much too.  Especially my six year old daughter.  She still writes her letters and makes pictures that we bring down to her grave.   

It is so hard to be 38 and not have a mom.  I know I am lucky, some people don't even get that long with there moms.  I just miss her, it's lonely without her. 

Six months into it, I suppose it gets easier.  Sort of.  Everything just feels different.

I pray and pray they can do something about this type of cancer. 

Much love to all you. 

 

 

 

 

On 7/25/2007 Rosanne69 wrote:

I lost my precious mother, and I need help dealing with her death.

      Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I also just lost my mom July 2.  She was diagnosed March 29th so it was extremely fast.  She was fine one day and than began to get jaundice.  She was diagnosed stage 4, inoperable, pancreatic cancer with mets to her liver and bile duct.                

     I am 31, she was only 58.  It is so very hard to deal with.  I always think of the good times and try not to focus on the way she was when she was sick.  It was terrible to see her that way and the last 3 days before she passed was heartbreaking knowing that it was really going to happen.  My mother always took great care of herself so it is so crazy that she got, and didn't even have a chance to try to fight this awful disease.  She was such an amazing person and will always be!!!!!  I find it helpful (when I am alone) to talk to her and (with others) talk about how wonderful she was!!!!!