Diane T.

I read your post and I felt so bad for you, I understand the feeling of being scared, so awful.   Not having any control, death, worry about family and loved ones...your not alone...I put you in my prayers every morning...Im just learning how to pray so perhaps since its so fresh itll have more weight..

Talked to Dr. Rivkin tonight, he gave me some different scenarios and I just said if you were me what would YOU do...he said he would have taxol every 3 weeks (I think he said for a year but Im not sure)..there is nothing that is guareented to kill ovarian cancer but he said taxol was proven to delay reoccurance...to me that means more life..more time..so thats what im gonna do..my hair will fall out again, ill be succeptible to all those little snotted  noses at school (school nurse during school year, ER nurse during summers and holidays)...but Ill do it, cause Im scared too.I'm scared that the people I love will have to watch me die...shit..... 

On 7/26/2007 Redboots wrote:

I read your post and I felt so bad for you, I understand the feeling of being scared, so awful.   Not having any control, death, worry about family and loved ones...your not alone...I put you in my prayers every morning...Im just learning how to pray so perhaps since its so fresh itll have more weight..

Talked to Dr. Rivkin tonight, he gave me some different scenarios and I just said if you were me what would YOU do...he said he would have taxol every 3 weeks (I think he said for a year but Im not sure)..there is nothing that is guareented to kill ovarian cancer but he said taxol was proven to delay reoccurance...to me that means more life..more time..so thats what im gonna do..my hair will fall out again, ill be succeptible to all those little snotted  noses at school (school nurse during school year, ER nurse during summers and holidays)...but Ill do it, cause Im scared too.I'm scared that the people I love will have to watch me die...shit..... 

Thanks for your reply - Just finished week one of the new drug Hycamtin. It is a four day regimen. Not too bad so far. Doing OK. I went to dinner with my boyfriend, parents and his Dad tonight. I even made a strawberry shortcake for his Dad's birthday (86 yrs old!!!) I don't know how long this treament will go on for - it seems like it will be four days then off for 2 weeks, then back on for the four days again. I think I'll handle it OK. I feel better in my head now - I just had to absorb the info. I talked to my friend who is a leading world wide cancer researcher and he told me that this is the best way for me to go and totally agreed with my docs. This made me feel a lot more secure in my decision. Try not to think about the people you love having to watch you die (I think of this too sometimes), Try to think about how they will watch you live, and envision the future. I just booked into a trip to Disney World in October and we are booking a trip to Puerto Rico in March. ( We go every March) This will be my fourth trip since diagnosis!!!!! I am truly beginning to believe in the power of positive thinking. Go into the taxol with a positive attitude, just be careful of all those snotty noses!!!! I have three little grandchildren that live 3 blocks away and I have to be careful  being around them. And I could love them up 24 hrs a day!!!!!!

Hang in there - I'm thinking all godd thoughts for you!

 Diane t.