Moms Lung Cancer

My Mom, My best friend, has just passed away from lung cancer six days ago, With the whirlwind of getting a funeral ready ,its now quieted down and it is myself,my Dad and brother. I feel like i am going crazy. it feels like someone slipped me a bad hit of acid and i can't wake up.Today my Dad,who never drinks drank a half bottle of wine,he hasn't said two words to me,he just sits and stares. My Mom and Dad were married about 44 years and he needed her. She was the strong one,not him. All of us are fighting too, Right now i live upstairs from my Dad because when my Mom was taken ill my husband and i moved in. The cancer eventually spread to her liver and pancreas,the first day in the hospital she spoke just a little,the second nothing, and the following days she would just stare at you with her blue eyes tinged with yellow from her tainted liver,i broke down in front of her,i told her how much i loved her,she couldn't talk back but i think she could hear us, then she finally closed her eyes and was on pain killers ,she fought hard but within a week she was gone,she died in the hospital,the whole family was with her all week and she didn't pass away until the nurse wanted to turn her over ,she asked us to leave the room,i watched from behind the curtain i could see the nurses face and i knew she was gone. I feel like i have a hole in my heart and it hurts so very bad,I am afraid we(Dad and brother) will not recover from this. I'm considering prozac. I can't believe she's gone!!!! I feel like screaming Someone help this God Awful Pain go away! I don't know what to believe in anymore. I'd like to think we'll all meet again but i'm not so sure of anything anymore.

Sorry to hear about your loss.  I know it's pretty devastating to lose a mom.  I lost my mom a month ago and she was only 56 years old.  Life will never be the same again.  I truly feel your pain.  My family was in a similar situation.  My mom was on a respirator for a week and half and we couldn't exchange any words.  Two days before she passed, she had tears in her eyes that were yellow.  It was due to the jaundice.  I felt like how can she just be gone.  I felt like there wasn't much closure.  I was hoping that she could still come out of it with prayers and miracles.  But that didn't happen.  The first week and the third week was the hardest for me.  My dad would cry sporadically.  My dad has become more humble with my mom passing.  He's having problems giving away my mom's clothes away.  I just cry out as much as I want and talk to my husband and friends about what I went through.  That has helped out.  Also, talking to other people on the cancer board has helped.  Remember, you are not alone.  I can say that my mom is no longer in pain which is the only comforting though.  I also talk to her everyday by saying how much I miss her and how much I love her.  I constantly remind my kids how much their grandmother loves them and I want my mom in heaven to hear daily that my kids also miss and love her too.  I don't want my kids to ever forget about her.  Another thing, I keep in mind that no one lives forever.  Everybody in this world will die and I know I will die.  It's just part of God's plan.  God just needs your mom.  I will keep a prayer for you and your family.

I too lost my mom to lung cancer on June 21, 2007. I don't cry everyday as i did, I know cry evry other day and I think about her every day. I keep reliving those last couple of days, when we didn't even know they where the last days, minutes or hours. My mom developed really bad sores in her throat a reaction to the chemo and it mad it very difficullt for her to speak, she wold write notes on  paper. My mom was never on hospice so we didn't talk about her dying we where all positive that whe would pull through this and that is why this is a shock. I know we don't live forever but it hard to accept it. I truly as sorry for your loss.and know that there are other people ut there trying to cope with the same feelings.

SaNDI