I'm afraid I don't have much reassurance to offer. Our situation is a little complicated so maybe your DIL won't have the same complications we do.
My mother is nearly 64 and had a full gastrectomy in June '06. At the same time she had a whipple procedure (removing the bowel duct/head of the pancreas). She has a unique situation in that 23 years ago she had all but 7 inches removed of her colon. All the surgeries were preventative. They had to be done because she had hundreds of polyps in each organ and one that was changing in her bowel duct.
All this to say - this surgery has wiped her out. Seven months later and she has lost 60 pounds+ and can't figure out how to keep food down. The information about drinking after meals and avoiding sugar is very helpful. Mother can't take any Ensure, etc, because with practically no colon she has a direct shot to eliminate food. She can't control that kind of liquid. I truly fear that she will die of malnutrition if something isn't done. She has no energy because she can't get any nutrition. Her blood work doesn't show any kind of anemia. Are any of you receiving B12 shots? Have they made a difference?
While the doctors are doing their best it's just not good enough. She needs to interact with someone who can tell her "I know. I've been there and this is what I did." It's sounds as though some of you need the same.
I desperately want to get in touch with the 11 cousins who had this surgery. Do you remember them? Their story broke last June just as mother came out of surgery. It's sounds as though they all struggled with the same things (dairy, too much weight loss, etc) but are doing really well now. Anybody know how to contact them?
Amy
(Sorry it's a long message. Thanks for reading it all.)