Friends,
My father (stage IV tongue cancer w/ bilateral node involvement) has finished week one of radiation with one chemo treatment. He's doing fine. Except....
he tells me he's having problems chewing his food, and blames it on an ill-fitting partial, which he is having corrected this week. However, his caretaker reported to me that he is having swallowing problems, not chewing problems, particularly. One day he didn't even drink his Boost Plus. She found it in the refrigerator, and she knew he hadn't drunk it because she always pours it into this green glass, and he had simply returned that glass to the fridge, full. Now it seems to me that difficulty chewing would have nothing to do with drinking Boost, but difficulty swallowing would.
Would difficulty swallowing be likely after week one? I am afraid he is not being truthful with me. And I wonder why not. Is he afraid to tell me what's really going on? He and I have a very open line of communication, but lately it has seemed to dry up some.
Now I'm going to ask a tough question. Have any of you not wanted your family to be aware of what's really going on, so have kept information from them? That's what seems to be happening with my father. He'll be 88 a month from today, and he is extremely disturbed that everything takes him so long to do, even eating a meal.
I try gently to tell him that it is to be expected at the age of 87, but he just gets angry. He is so distraught over his situation. I sense that he is trying to control it, as he has always tried to maintain tight-fisted control. And cancer is not something under his control. I think he's angry about having cancer, despite his words of bravado to the contrary ("I am going into this with a brave heart," "I am going to fight this thing," etc.)
Anything you might contribute to this line of thinking will be helpful to me, so I thank you right now. Bless you all for your courage and your willingness to share your walk.
Maggie