My boyfriend is a Stage IVB Cancer Patient. he was diagnoised on 7 June 07. I have been primary and ONLY caregiver since. I work full-time. I've asked Tim from the beginning to broaden our support system to head off a crisis. I have alos asked him to hire help for the chores around the house (The heavy cleaning 2 times a month). I closed up my house and parked my dogs at my sister's and none of that has been addressed. Here is my email notifying my friends and family.:
I have already let my family know that I completely short circuited Sunday and packed some of my things from Tim's and before I could talk to him about it he figured it out and was very hurt and I ended up going back home at his request. I've tried hard to show him that I would be there for him every step of the way and now I have obliterated that because of PMS!!! All the anxiety and stress built up and even at 42 I don't know how to deal with my needs that aren't being met in a relationship...especially when the other persons needs are so much more important. So, all that built up and I used my anxiety and stress energy to throw my stuff in my bag and put it in my truck....I know you women can relate...the mumbling the agitation and the stomping around and "house cleaning"..."I can't take this anymore" Fight or Flight...for me it is usually flight. Trying to run to get away from myself. You have to be able to run really fast. No one can run that fast.
I guess the Lord will really be able to show me that he is working in this situation. Because it has been so hard and I can't see where He is going with this. I'm broken hearted. I feel like I failed Tim in a very important area. Maybe I was getting in the way of Tim being at a place where he has to depend on the Holy Spirit for comfort. Who am I to think that I would be the one to open Tim's eyes and heart to the Lord. That's a little egocentric.
I'm writing this email to let you know what is going on with me but mostly to solicited your prayers and your encouragement.
Love
Diane