Father, 87, dx 6/12/07 stage IV tongue cancer with lymph node involvement both sides of neck
Have you ever heard of anyone not surviving the treatment for this? He's having radiation M-F for seven weeks with (Erbitux) chemo every Tuesday. This is week three.
He is a stubborn son of a gun. Yesterday very, very frustrated because he hadn't had anything to eat for two days (swallowing has become difficult) except two small slices of canned peaches and a little Boost. He has lost 2 1/2 pounds in two days. I don't know how he is getting his daily medications. I imagine it's with a lot of trouble. He is also not drinking water, which I continually remind him to do. So I am worried about dehydration.
He has been taught twice by the infusion company how to use the feeding tube. Now it's time, and he can't do it, despite having the instructions written down. No nurse is available today at the infusion company to come out a third time to show him how. Meantime he is hungry, not eating, and losing weight. He is angry at this company for not having a nurse available today (at his beck and call) to show him A THIRD TIME what to do. If he didn't pick it up the first two times, why should I think he'll be able to do it after a third time? I am sorry to say he is quite inept at practical things.
For a brief time he entertained the thought of hiring a nurse to do the feedings, but then thought he would be able to do it himself. That was before he actually needed to do it. Now that he needs that tube, that confidence has flown. Time is of the essence.
A nurse-friend recommended that he go to the emergency room, but he refused. Sat around last night instead watching a movie. Was going to ask a nurse at radiation this morning to show him.
I told him to be prepared that they might send him to the ER, or that those nurses are so busy that they may not be able to do it either.
So this is day three with basically no food.
I am scared that he will do something wrong or NOT do something, and that will lead to his death, not the cancer.
I cannot figure out why he is being so stubborn. I even called him back later last night and said I thought it was a VERY GOOD idea to go to the ER. He said, "Well, I'm settled in now, watching a movie, and besides, I have to go use the bathroom. Bye."
What am I to do?
His caretaker told me he looks awful, very pale, very weak, although not using his cane.
Just venting, I guess. Thanks for listening.
Maggie