firstly, i want to say that i feel stupid writing this when nothing is confirmed or denied yet but because of all thats happened i'm just scared.
both cancer and ovarian cysts have occurred in many of my family members, but this really just concerns one, my mother.
about a month ago my mother went in to have an ovarian cyst removed in hospital, put under anesthetic her heart slowed right down and they had to shock her back and do cpr to bring her back round. she was in icu for days before they managed to take the 33 pound twisting cyst out of her body. there was suspected brain damage after what she had been through. she was terrified of going into hospital and even more scared of going under the anesthetic. after a few weeks in hospital she was released and everything was going well, all the reasons she was suspected of having brain damaged were cleared and she was just about her normal self personality wise until yesterday. we got a call saying that the results from the tests she had done on the cyst were suspicious and that she may have ovarian/bowel cancer. as far as i'm aware they removed one of her ovaries with the cyst but as it took our GP 4-5 months to even say it was a cyst ideas have come around that it could be that either cancer that has effected the other.
i have little faith left in the doctors around me since they wrongly treated my sister for over a year for irritable bowl syndrome before giving her emergency surgery to remove a cyst and an ovary. they also said the larger the cyst the more likely it was to be benine (sp) and as far as i was aware before they took it out (in fact on my sisters graduation day they called to say) that it wasn't cancer. now it seems they've changed their minds.
all i know is that its heart breaking hearing your own mother scream and shout and cry that she doesn't want to die, that she can't go through another operation and saying stupid negative things i won't even repeat.
she goes in on thursday to have a colonoscipy(sp).
i start back at university in a few weeks and i don't know if i can leave my family like this and i know none of them would let me stay at home to just wait it out and look after her as i have done all summer.
i'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but i can't take sympathy from my friends because it makes them feel awkward and i really need someone to talk to. but i don't feel like i can actually say things outloud.