Sis Newly Diagnosed - What To Do?

My 40-yr. old sister was just diagnosed with Stage II ovarian cancer a week ago. She is a dirt-poor single mom doing her best (and doing a heckuva job) raising two teenagers without financial or emotional support from her Rat Of An Ex-Husband. So it will be up to my other sister and I to try and support her through her journey, and I really don't know what to do. She had emergency surgery (which was when the cancer was found) and the incision became infected, so she won't start chemo until after things clear there (probably a couple of weeks), so I'd like to use the time to gather as much information as I possibly can so I can be there for her.

 She's identified three of us that she wants to be her primary supports. A friend will be taking her to treatments - afterwards she would like one of we "Aunties" to stay with she and the kids for a day or two or three. I can certainly hang with the kids and take care of her household as best I can, but I'm not a nurse. And I don't know what she will be needing physically and psychologically.

There is a strong incidence of cancer in my family - lung, uterine, brain, colon - so I know some of what to expect, but this is the first time I'll be one of the primary caregivers. I am so very scared and overwhelmed that I don't even know where to begin.

Can some of the Wise People on this forum help me out?

Thanks much

LynnieCheb

Be strong, I have been in remission for only two months and I will share as much as I can.  I am a single mother of two, no medical and doing my best.  After my Hyst about a month, I started my chemo. God didn't allow me to worry about $$$, and I didn't.  I went to St. Luke's in Boise Idaho and told my doc. I couldn't afford alot but would do payments, he told me they would treat me like I already paid the bill.....and they did. I did a 5 1/2 hour drip every three weeks. First two days I was good and then I got sick alittle. Prolly 4 days is all.  I would take two days off and go back to work, lightly. Felt great for the next two weeks and then went back for more.  5 months of that.......I slept as much as I needed.  My kids were great and took care of the little stuff and my folks took care of the trips to treatment.  I know I am lucky and Blessed with everyone in my life.  Depression will sneek up and grab you if you let it, so help her stay possitive.

As you take the treatments mine took me down more and more.  By the 4th I was taking a week off.  But still feeling great (tired) but great those two weeks between.  My kids are teens so they were great and always doing for me.  I applied for all the assistances I could and grants through the places I owed. And By GOD'S Blessing most of them WROTE 'EM OFF.....Believe me, I was in Shock to say the least. But God Has Blessed Me and I Believe 

I want to thank you for being there for her and feel free to ask me if I can help, God Bless You and my prayers are with you all, Pam

Thanks very much, Pam, for the information and prayers. Money is going to be a big problem for my sister, and the rest of us, unfortunately, don't have a whole lot to share with her unless one of us strikes the lottery suddenly. How did you find out about assistance and grants? Did you just contact the people you owed money to, or are there places you can go to apply?

 LynnieCheb

I started with state assistance and they were not taking anyone new even though my income was low, so then I applied for finance assistance through the hospital and the docs and the lab and everyone else who I owed. My friends and family had fund raisers for me.  Chilli feed action, jars around town, you name it they were doing it.  They raised almost 10,000  for my bills yet thats not much to almost 90,000. 

Please don't give up, and tell your sister one thing at a time.  Fight and then worry about the rest (if you can)  I know I am truely Blessed but never give up Hope.

There is lots of info on the net and there may be things available in your area and state.  Check with everyone and talk to anyone, you may be surprised as to what they all can do, just ask.

Good luck Keep the Faith,

Lots of prayers, pam

On 8/19/2007 LynnieCheb wrote:

My 40-yr. old sister was just diagnosed with Stage II ovarian cancer a week ago. She is a dirt-poor single mom doing her best (and doing a heckuva job) raising two teenagers without financial or emotional support from her Rat Of An Ex-Husband. So it will be up to my other sister and I to try and support her through her journey, and I really don't know what to do. She had emergency surgery (which was when the cancer was found) and the incision became infected, so she won't start chemo until after things clear there (probably a couple of weeks), so I'd like to use the time to gather as much information as I possibly can so I can be there for her.

 She's identified three of us that she wants to be her primary supports. A friend will be taking her to treatments - afterwards she would like one of we "Aunties" to stay with she and the kids for a day or two or three. I can certainly hang with the kids and take care of her household as best I can, but I'm not a nurse. And I don't know what she will be needing physically and psychologically.

There is a strong incidence of cancer in my family - lung, uterine, brain, colon - so I know some of what to expect, but this is the first time I'll be one of the primary caregivers. I am so very scared and overwhelmed that I don't even know where to begin.

Can some of the Wise People on this forum help me out?

Thanks much

LynnieCheb

On 8/19/2007 LynnieCheb wrote:

My 40-yr. old sister was just diagnosed with Stage II ovarian cancer a week ago. She is a dirt-poor single mom doing her best (and doing a heckuva job) raising two teenagers without financial or emotional support from her Rat Of An Ex-Husband. So it will be up to my other sister and I to try and support her through her journey, and I really don't know what to do. She had emergency surgery (which was when the cancer was found) and the incision became infected, so she won't start chemo until after things clear there (probably a couple of weeks), so I'd like to use the time to gather as much information as I possibly can so I can be there for her.

 She's identified three of us that she wants to be her primary supports. A friend will be taking her to treatments - afterwards she would like one of we "Aunties" to stay with she and the kids for a day or two or three. I can certainly hang with the kids and take care of her household as best I can, but I'm not a nurse. And I don't know what she will be needing physically and psychologically.

There is a strong incidence of cancer in my family - lung, uterine, brain, colon - so I know some of what to expect, but this is the first time I'll be one of the primary caregivers. I am so very scared and overwhelmed that I don't even know where to begin.

Can some of the Wise People on this forum help me out?

Thanks much

LynnieCheb

Taking care of the household and the kids is a major help and letting your sister  rest.

make sure she comes home with antinausea medicine and takes her anti-nausea medicine around the  clock for several days  . I got my chemo intraperitoneal so the nausea ( not vomiting) was constant for several days . Ativan was wonderful for me for nausea. There are so many good antinausea medicine available given before the chemo and at home .  Taking sips of gatorade or ginger ale with crushed ice helped me . I had to have it in a glass and real cold. Keep fluids on board and taking sips was the best way for me to accomplish this instead of drinking a lot at a time.

i lived off wendys chocolate frosty's.

I kept a little cosmetic bag by my bedside that had all my meds in it and my doctors phone number with pen and paper.  I kept the phone next to me so i could easliy answer it if it rang. I was usually by myself during the day because the kids were in school and my husband was working.

I let people who offered to help me, bring in meals for my family.

She will get though it and having  sisters is wonderful support

D.