What Will The Future Hold?

My 75 year young father in law was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with stage IV stomach cancer.  It has spread to his lungs, liver, multiple nodes in his abdomen and they believe his prostate also.  Obviously it is inoperable, and he refuses chemo as he does not want to be sick the last few months that he has.  While I am coping as well as I can, my husband is a wreck! 

there are to many unanswered questions, and he was only given months to live, but he is not yet ready for hospice.  What does the road ahead look like for my father in law so I can help my husband?  My father in law has constant pain, and constipation from the morphine and an obvious loss of appetite.  I just want to know if anyone can help me so I can prepare my husband, or atleast be prepared myself so I can better support my husband.

I was the same when i heard the news of my dad. I tried everything and i mean everything there is on the internet and consulted thousands of doctors all over. You will hear lots of stories and promises, some true some marketing stuffl; don't know what to believe. It is very tough and we do not understand what they are going through as the cancer spreads taking out each organ at a time. It is a tough fight, some are successful some are not. Caregivers have to go through a lot of emotional and financial roller coasterl.

All i would say is that everyone has to find their own way to deal with the situation, keep each other happy and supportive is the best way for you both. Individually we have to find our own way to fight the emotional agony we go through. I would suggest that your husband spents some quiet time with what he likes to do the most. Kinda give him his moments where he can find his peace. This has helped me to cope with my situation.

God be with us.

Thank you!  Since my first post, my father in law has gotten so much worse.  Hospice was called in, but oddly enough, they are not being very supportive.  My mother in law has to call them to come, they do not come on a regular schedule or at all unless she calls, and they should be there every day!  (I am meeting with them tomorrow, as she cannot handle them anymore!)  My Father in law is starting to show signs that the end is near, and it is getting harder and harder, I have been giving my husband space, if he wants it, and all my attention if he wants it!  We go see my Father in law twice a day, sometimes more.  I just try to do whatever anyone needs.  It is so hard to watch my husband hurting so bad for his father!  While I am crushed by what is happening, I cannot begin to know how my husband feels.............so it makes it hard.