Mom Passed Away

Hi,

I wrote not too long ago regarding my mom, but by the time I went back to check my messages, mom passed away.  It is so hard I am trying to get through this.  She fought a good fight. She has no more pain, I thank god her pain was not until the very end.  So we were able to help her.  I just need someone to talk to, someone who really understands what I am going through.  I feel for everyone on this web site.  As my mom would say, I quote:  UNTIL YOU WALK IN MY SHOES YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM FEELING" how true those words are.  I guess I just need to vent right now.  People mean well, but sometimes they say the wrong things. I am just having a hard time.  To all those whose loved ones are fighting cancer. Be there, talk to them, say good bye, let them know how much you love them,  it helps them as much as it helps you.  I prayer for all of you, and me so we can get through these hards time.  Sorry to be just babbeling on.  God Bless -----Marie

Pam,

I just wanted to say Thank You.  Sometimes I feel very much alone, even though there is family around. God Bless you. 

Marie

Marie,

I know exactley how you feel as I lsot my WONDERFUL mom to cancer on June 21, 2007. I don't cry every day but i do think about her every day and I keep reliving those last couple of days. My mom was in the hospital for tests and was supposed to go to a rehab to get her walking but she never made it there she went downhill so fast and to this day I still don't know what happened. I did expect my mom to pass away but not now. She fought a very courageous battle and never lost hope and that is why we never discussed her dying or really said our goodbyes. I don't think I could have even said goodbye. It is very hard trying to get back to a normal life, sometimes I feel nothing will be normal again and I know my mom would not want me to be so sad and to go on with life. I lost my dad 5 years ago and I know that now my mom and dad are together which is comforting. I also know that as time goes on it does get easier. Holidays birhtdays anniversaries are the hardest or just something weill trigger a thought..I know i have gone on and on and I do apologize for that. I too needed to talk.

Sandi

Sandi,

Thank you for your reply.  I am sorry to hear about your loss too.  Your mom just recently passed, it is very hard I know. My mom passed Dec. 23rd 2006.  Some time has passed but it is extremely hard.  I keep busy with my family.  My kids were very very close with her and we lived 4 blocks away from her, so I try to keep it as normal as possible but sometimes we can't.  I too lost my dad, he passed away 20 years ago at the age of 51.  As time goes by, we both will have good days and bad. But this is what makes us strong.  My mom was an extremely strong woman, she had Adreanl Cancer very rare 1-2 people per million get this, no exageration.  She was diagnosed in 2004, she had one surgery per year.  There was no protocol for this cancer, the doctors didn't have too much data on it, even Sloan Kettering. She had Crohn's so chemo was out of the question.  Knowing all this, this is why my mom was able to talk to me the way she did.  I treasure those talks, and I cry when I think of all the beautiful words she said to me. 

I have been reading books, they have helped.  What type of cancer did your mom have, are you married, do you have kids.  Sometimes keeping busy is good and bad.  I feel like an orphan, not having any parents, I think that makes it even harder. If you would like to talk again, please e-mail me,( they have a private e-mail)  and never apologize for talking too long or too short about your feelings.  I understand.  Hope to hear from you.  If not--take care of yourself, and look for those books they do help.

God Bless ---Marie 

Marie,

You have my deepest sympathy and a prayer that our Lord will take you into his bosom and give you strength, support, and the faith to endure the loss of a loving mother. May God Bless Your Family, In Christian Love,

Richard

hi, i just want you to know that i am praying for you!

and yes it is so true that its hard to be comforted by someone that has not been in your shoes, feeling what youve felt during your mom's sickness and passing. my mom passed away may of 2005, i cant believe its been so long, it still is like it all happened yesterday...i can see it that clearly at least.

but i promise you, this first yr is the hardest...the emotions you feel whenever and wherever will be there the second yr but they wont sting as bad, and i am just beginning the third yr and im goin to have faith it will only get better. i still miss her just as much as the day she passed...but i dont hurt as bad and im not bitter or angry anymore

ive become so much understanding and some how much ive grown up, matured, and appreciate life so much more than i ever have...God is amazing, and you and i and everyone else on this website that has lost someone....has truly been blessed! God has given us love, strength, and determination that so many others havent gone through yet....

we are so lucky for having our moms! and cancer cannot take that away from us!

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.    –– James 1:1-12 (NIV)

On 8/29/2007 dance wrote:

hi, i just want you to know that i am praying for you!

and yes it is so true that its hard to be comforted by someone that has not been in your shoes, feeling what youve felt during your mom's sickness and passing. my mom passed away may of 2005, i cant believe its been so long, it still is like it all happened yesterday...i can see it that clearly at least.

but i promise you, this first yr is the hardest...the emotions you feel whenever and wherever will be there the second yr but they wont sting as bad, and i am just beginning the third yr and im goin to have faith it will only get better. i still miss her just as much as the day she passed...but i dont hurt as bad and im not bitter or angry anymore

ive become so much understanding and some how much ive grown up, matured, and appreciate life so much more than i ever have...God is amazing, and you and i and everyone else on this website that has lost someone....has truly been blessed! God has given us love, strength, and determination that so many others havent gone through yet....

we are so lucky for having our moms! and cancer cannot take that away from us!

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.    –– James 1:1-12 (NIV)

Thank you for your prayers, they are always needed.  I do know in time it will get better, I lost my father 20 years ago, he was just 51, not from cancer- a masive heart attack.  Shock takes over and then reality sets in. I know it time the loss of my mom will ease a little, it's not having any parents, your roots are no longer here- that's what is hard to handle. Your siblings are not your roots, they are branches just like yourself.  It's a shame I know what to expect, the first of everything, or a celebration it's a bitter sweet.  Time goes by so fast you turn around and a year is already passed.  We just have to go on, day by day and hope that each day with be easier.  I pray for you too, take care of yourself and thank you again for your reply.

Marie