Trixie Passed Quietly Away

It is with great sadness and with a broken heart that I have to tell everyone here on the msg board that Trixie lost her short battle with TCC on august 28th. We were so blessed to have her in our lives for her entire 16 years. Those years have just flown by so fast, it seems like yesterday that I first laid eyes on a gorgeous little jack russell pup and fell hopelessly in love. She was a truly loved member of our family and all the love she received from us she returned ten fold. Her passing [just 4 weeks and one day after diagnosis] has left a huge empty space in our lives that can never be filled. Trix was a one of a kind beautiful soul - as FAR from a typical JRT as you could ever get - she loved everyone [human or 4 legged furry] and loved to sit on the lawn watching our rabbits hopping around, greeting them with a nose-to-nose "Hi" or giving their ears a friendly lick when ever they'd hop up to her to say hello. She [and my husband and myself] were fortunate in that throughout her life, she never suffered any health problems until the last month of her life. For that - we thank God.

My heart aches to hold her just one more time, if only for a brief moment, but in truth if I could hold her from now til the end of my time on earth it wouldn't be long enough. I know one day she and I will be together once more for eternity. I miss her so badly.

Thanks to everyone on this board, not only those who replied to my posts, but to EVERYone without exception, for sharing and caring. May you all find strength and much support from, and FOR each other. God bless x

Jaq - Trixie's Mum

Dear Jaq,

I am so so sorry to hear about the passing of Trixie.

I know how hard it is to say goodbye and hold them in your arms for the last time and tell them how much you love them. Trixie knows that !!!  I am still missing Beezer every day since 11/25 and not one day goes by that I don't wish I could kiss his little head and hold him, but I know he was very ill and is in a better place. (Beez was a Norfolk terrier and just celebrated his 12th birthday).

You put a smile on my face when you described how Trixie loved the rabbits on your property. Clearly, she was a sweet pup. Just keep thinking about all the lovely moments over the 16 years that you had her. It does help to think of the lovely times and may I tell you that Beezer was as important in my life and MORE so than some humans. I know exactly what you mean when you say your pup was by your side all the time even when friends and family were not. !!!!!! I went through some tough times with my own father's illness (pancreatic cancer) etc and Beez was right there every moment of the day when others had enough. He allowed me to be me. We obviously share the same thoughts here.

God bless you at this moment. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Debbie

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Thank you for sharing your experience and a little bit of Trixie's life with all of us. Clearly, she was unique and her best side was what she showed to the world. May you be blessed with the best for having given her a great life.

Hi Debbie,

Thank you so much for your kind, thoughtful reply. Today's been really hard, Sundays are always 'our' day, my husband, myself and our 3 dogs. Today is our first Sunday without our Trixie, and we're all struggling to get through it. Megan our 8 yr old yellow lab has never known life without Trix, she's been really down since Trix went on Tuesday. We kept Trixie here overnight after the vet put her to sleep - so that we could say our goodbyes and tell her [as we've told her throughout her life] how special she is to us and how much we loved her. It also gave Megan and Lula [our 3 yr old jack russell] the chance to hopefully realise what had happened to Trixie and to say their own goodbyes in their own ways. Megan acted very strangely at seeing Trixie's lifeless body, she seemed to be avoiding looking at Trix and only glanced at her fleetingly and then looked away again. She only did this a few times. I don't think Meg's realised Trixie's gone. Seeing how down Meg is just adds to our heart break. Lula did the sweetest thing on seeing Trix after she'd passed - she walked over to her, sniffed Trixie's little nose, eyes and ears, then licked her face so gently. The next morning Trixie was taken to a lovely local family run pet crematorium. I broke down the moment my husband took her out through the front door, I'd let her go the day before when the vet put her to sleep, then I had to let her go again.

Everyday the loss is getting harder to deal with. I try to be strong for the sake of my husband and for Meg and Lula, but it's so hard to fight back the tears. I can't accept that she's gone, I can't imagine having to live the rest of my life without her by my side. I feel incomplete. I don't want to eat, eating seems so trivial when I feel like this and yet something makes me eat. I feel that I just want to sleep and not wake. I'm sorry to be so dperessing but that's how I feel.

I lost Candy, my 12 yr old lab-cross nearly 9 years ago and I KNOW I was deeply upset at her loss, but I don't know if it hit me as hard back then, or if the memories of the loss have faded? I seem to be in one of 2 different states right now, either thinking constantly about Trixie's life and her passing, or I try to distract myself with something only to have the thoguth that she's gone come up and hit me like a ton of bricks. When that happens it's like learning for the first time that she's gone again.

I really dont know how i'm going to get through this greif, and I don't say that as the cliche that it sounds like - I mean I really don't know HOW. Maybe someone can help? I've bought 2 books today on Amazon, When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing by Alan Wolfelt and The Loss of a Pet by Wallace Sife. I hope I'll find something within the pages that'll help.

This afternoon I turned a small triangluar border in one corner of our small garden into "Trixie's Garden" and I want to add some lilac coloured pansies to fill it with colour. We had a whole boder filled with these particular pansies years ago, and we have home video footage of Trixie wandering through the flowers when she was a pup, in that careless, carefree way that puppies [with no regard for the effort you've gone to to make your garden look pretty] do. What I'd give to have her trample the flowers in the garden now :(

Thanks for listening

 Jaq x

 

Dear Jaq,

I am so so sorry for the loss of your dearly beloved little Trixie.  It is clear that your heart is broken right now.

You WILL be okay but it is going to take a bit and you will be very very sad.

Annie,  my dog with TCC, is my replacement dog for a little  guy I brought home nearly 27 years ago.  When I adopted him, he had been hit by a car and had three broken legs.  Neither the vets nor I knew for sure if he would ever walk again.  It took a bit for his muscles to get strong, but he did, and he became the love of my life.  When he died, I thought I would too, I was crying so much that my (now) husband sent me off to a psychiatrist.

It took me two years to feel I was ready for a replacement for my buddy (I had two other dogs at the time, but though I loved them, I didn't have the same bond) So into my life came Annie.  She took one look at the hole in my heart and decided that was where she belonged--and there she has stayed for these 12 years.

So, Jac, it won't be tomorrow, but one day, you will feel better, I promise.

Until then, you will always have the support and concern from your fellow dog lovers on this board.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, dear.

Marty 

 

 

 

 

Dear Jaq, My heart breaks for you. For those of us who have gone that journey, I can tell you that the pain is real and goes deep. They are such a huge part of our lives and their love is unconditional. Trixie will always be with you. The memories are sweet and special. Hold onto those and remember that she loved you very much! There is a wonderful book you might want to read call "Cold noses at the Pearly Gates." It's been a month since we lost Ryle. It's getting better for us and it will for you too Jaq. . . in your timing. You truly nevery get over them . . . you learn to go on without them . . . and they will always be with you! We have you in our prayers, Shele and Vaughn (For Ryle B.)

Dear Trixies mom,

I am so very sorry to hear that your baby has passed away! I was just told a month and a half ago that my baby has bladder cancer too. I am so devestated! and dont know where to turn.I can feel your pain and when i read your story i bursted into tears.I cant imagin a day without him in my life.You said it got harder as the days went by,HELP.If you need someone to talk to Im HERE for you                                  CINDY