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A Meaning To Breast Cancer

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Meaningbc
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Subject: A Meaning to Breast Cancer
Date: 02/19/2005
Hello-
I have been a breast surgeon for over 15 years, first training with Dr. Susan Love and now practicing at Women to Women in Maine. While I have seen some changes in treatments, I have always been most impressed with my patients' stories of "recovery". I am working on a book about how women "made sense" of their diagnosis and have canvassed my own patients and several themes are emerging. However, I would like to hear from more women and thus am sending out the 4 questions listed below. I would greatly appreciate responses. Thank you so much in advance.

1. Since you found out you had breast cancer, have you ever asked yourself, why me? If so, what were your conclusions?
2. Since my diagnosis, I have made the following changes in my life_______________
3. The most important being____________
4. When asked what the meaning of my illness is, I would answer___________________________

Much gratitude.....
Please feel free to pass these questions on to others as you see fit! I would love my in box to be stuffed!

Dixie M.,
www.drdixiemills.com
Subject: A Meaning to Breast Cancer
Date: 02/24/2005
I am 36 and a 2-time breast cancer survivor. I was first diagnosed two years ago in stage 3 and I now take weekly treatments of Taxol for metastatic breast cancer in the lungs and bones.

As I drove myself home after being diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I stopped at a red light and asked God this question: I have friends that smoke 2-3 packs of cigarettes a day, I have other friends that have had sex with entire townships, I have other friends that drink liquor like it's kool-aid. I've never judged or shunned any of them about the things they've done. And while I don't wish this or any disease on any of them, none of them are sick. So what am I supposed to learn from this?

In the midst of me crying, God said: It's not about you.

I don't know why, but upon hearing that, I stopped crying. God never elaborated beyond that statement but in the two years since then I've learned that this really was NOT about me. God has used me to be an example to others that have unfortunately been diagnosed after me. So many of the women in my support group have taken chemotherapy and not had the strength to work. I not only go for chemotherapy every week since my recurrence (in August, 2004) but I also work about 45 hours a week.

Since my diagnosis, I have continued to change my eating habits. I don't eat fast food, I've eliminated most of the junk food...I may treat myself to french fries, cheesecake or ice cream once a month.

Once I got a second opinion that confirmed the diagnosis, God told me to let go of past hurts and anger. He said forgive and let it go. That for me was a bit of a challenge. There were many days prior to diagnosis where I would be happy and doing whatever and out of nowhere a memory of something someone did to me that made me really angry would pop into my head and I would re-live the entire experience and I could feel my chest get tight and I would have to take several deep breaths to loosen up. It did take time, but it has also gotten easier to do.

Another major task was separating myself from negative people. The Bible tells us to guard our eyes and ears against evil because the pride of life can tempt us to sin. It is really easy to get swept up in listening to people talk negatively about other people. For some reason, we've been conditioned to find that interesting which is why there are so many celebrity gossip programs, magazines, websites, etc. From the second week after the initial diagnosis until now, I get a sick feeling inside when people start talking negatively about anything around me. I'm not saying that I live a sheltered life where I only talk about sunshine and blue skies; I will discuss the good, the bad and the ugly for the sake of sharing information and learning from it but I don't have time - and neither does any other cancer survivor - to waste on trivial matters, we must be about the business of getting and helping others get healed.

The most important lesson I have learned from this experience is this: Life, Time and Choice are the most precious gifts God has given us. How we use that time, that life shows our gratitude to God because it shows how we make choices. We can choose to be angry, bitter or scared that we have received this diagnosis and in some cases, blame God. Or we can choose to live life to the fullest and encourage another survivor to do the same knowing that God will enable us. The Bible tells us that with man all things are impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. It is one of the scriptures that comforts me most on this journey.

So what would I say is the meaning of my illness: Jesus told his disciples that when He left to return to the right hand of the father, the disciples would be able to do even greater works than Jesus did as He walked with them and taught them. I believe that those of us that are dealing with these diseases - cancer, lupus, sickle-cell, etc. - are here so that others who don't believe Jesus because they cannot physically see Him will come to believe because they will not only physically see us healed, but because we in turn will lay hands on them and by the authority given to us by Jesus, others will be healed.

Isaiah 54:17 says "No weapon forged against you will prevail and you will refute every tongue that accuses you." That means that when the naysayers come around looking at you like your at the end of your days, you can look at them with confidence and tell them Jesus was wounded for my transgressions and bruised for my iniquities. The chastisement of my peace was upon the Lord and by His stripes I AM HEALED!!
Subject: Meaning to Breast Cancer
Date: 02/24/2005
I loved reading your message. It was up and up is how you need to be to survive. I am on my third time around and it is the first time I asked why me. I did everything I was supposed to do. I had a bilateral mastectomy. My surgeon (supposedly the best in New York) took out my lymph nodes and told us the good news that it was not in the lymph nodes. However, four years later, we found out that it was not the case. She left in the one that contained the cancer. I went through treatment and radiation (that left me with lymphedema) and had a port put in that broke and almost killed me!!! I lost my hair. Anyway, it has now spread to my liver and I am on chemo again. All this and planning a sweet 16!

I too get turned off when I hear people talking about others. I am not an angel but you really put life into perspective when you have something serious going on. I live in a place called Rockaway where everyone helps everyone. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, daughter, and family and friends. Women recently diagnosed feel free to call me and that makes me feel as though I am helping in a small way. I hope things continue to go well for you and always surround yourself with people who care and you will be fine.
Subject: a Meaning to Breast Cancer
Date: 02/28/2005
Dear Dixie,

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July, 2004. I had a lumpectomy (no lymph node involvement) with a follow-up course of radiation.

In answer to your questions:

1. Since you found out you had breast cancer, have you ever asked yourself, why me? If so, what were your conclusions?

Oddly enough, no, I never thought why me? I attribute this to not being really shocked at having cancer since my mother died of breast cancer at age 36. I have more or less expected (not in a morbid way), that I'd probably get it too. I do remember feeling as if I was in a "vacuum" when I received the results of the biopsy, so many thoughts run through your head.

2. Since my diagnosis, I have made the following changes in my life:

I try to keep a healthy mental balance but I do try to live more for today. And I have had a will drawn up and made certain arrangements that we all tend to put off.

3. The most important being:

That I find myself less inclined to commit to a long-term committed relationship... probably because I don't want to put anyone through what I saw my father go through with my mother.

4. When asked what the meaning of my illness is, I would answer:

I see it as a "wake-up call" to stop worrying so much about the day-to-day "crises" and take some time to smell the roses. A brush with death is a powerful motivator to live life to the fullest while you can.
Survivor
Survivor
Chickenlittle
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Subject: Answer to Your Questions
Date: 03/04/2005
I have just been through breast cancer. I was stage II with it spreading to my lymph nodes. I went through chemo, mastectomy and radiation my nodes were removed and 2 out of 9 had miniscule reminants of cancer. So here are the answers to your questions.

1. I have never asked why me. Cancer is not picky. it seems to choose anyone for any reason and I would drive myself crazy if I raised that question to myself.

2. After I was finished with my chemo I swore I was going to make miraculous changes. eat better, excercise more, watch my weight, no red meat, but then I said......Oh I do that now. I have become more aware of people's feelings and sympathize more with people who have disabilities. Staring for any reason makes a person uncomfortable.

3. The most important was the compassion for others and life. When people can't choose what happens to them it makes you feel less of a person and more vulnarable to the outside world.

4. The meaning of my illness is that it is true what they say.....beauty is only skin deep. what u look like on the inside is much more important.

chicken little
Patient
Patient
Tibbysolivercreek
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Subject: Personal Observation From Breast Cancer
Date: 03/08/2005
I was diagnosed in the spring of 2004, had a lumpectomy, with clear margins, node negative, had radiation treatments during three hurricanes! I also lost my job and my dog within one month of surgery. I experienced these three major stresses, plus the radiation fatigue, with the support of a wonderful husband. My 'type A' personality could not cope as well as I thought, and my surgeon put me on Paxil 10mg/day.

My surgeon said I could be the poster child for early detection, as my tumor was .4cm. I have always been academic about my good health, mammos/Ultrasounds, exercise, diet, and have no family history of breast cancer.

Today I take tamoxifen 20mg and Paxil 10mg. My oncologist's plan is to change to Arimidex for the last 2 1/2 years of adjuvant therapy.

Six months post-radiation, I now feel wonderful, have joined a gym again, have a personal trainer and take yoga classes as well.

Now to your questions...

1. Since you found out you had breast cancer, have you ever asked yourself, why me? If so, what were your conclusions?
I'm not the 'why me?' type and I never asked the question. I have given thought to my five years of HRT and its risks. I have great faith and great medical support, and simply am taking the best care possible.

2. Since my diagnosis, I have made the following changes in my life_______________
With the circumstances described above, I have taken the time to "be" and not be compelled to "do" every waking moment. I am reading more, enjoying my grandchildren, working out and spending time in my mountain retreat without any guilt!
3. The most important being____________
Increased patience with myself and others. I have a refreshing view of the "here and now" and enjoy being a good role model for detection and positive thinking. I'm quick to tell women about early detection, small tumors and taking responsibility for self.
4. When asked what the meaning of my illness is, I would answer___________________________
My breast cancer is a part of life and I'm taking care of business by keeping myself informed of the latest advances, and being well treated medically.
Subject: Answers to Your Questions
Date: 03/14/2005
1. Since you found out you had breast cancer, have you ever asked yourself, why me? If so, what were your conclusions?

I have either stage III or IV breast cancer. They have not done any scans but it is in lymph nodes. I feel I was allowed to experience this horrid disease because my heavenly Father needed to get my attention. He got it! And I love Him for it. Cancer has been the best thing to ever happen to me.

2. Since my diagnosis, I have made the following changes in my life_______________

Since my diagnosis I have completely devoted and surrendured my life to Jesus Christ and continue daily to have blessing after blessing bestowed on me. I am not nervous or anxious. I am happy, well-adjusted and have only cried about 5 minutes during the last 30 days since my diagnosis. I am a single mother to seven beautiful children and we love life very much. I have done a radical change in my diet and only eat fruit and vegatables and drink distilled water. I take many supplements, many of which come from BioImmune and Mannetech. I also take Essiac tea and do daily coffee enema's. Soon I will be starting on Vit C IV therapy. I pray a whole lot more now for myself and everyone I can think of. I truly believe in the power of prayer. Besides, if Jesus can split the Red Sea I know he can conquer a small thing such as this.
3. The most important being____________
My positive mental attitude and that of my kids. Their doctors insist they need therapy but really we are fine.
4. When asked what the meaning of my illness is, I would answer___________________________
I think I answered that for the most part in #1 but I do feel God knew how much I would be able to help others because of my attitude and personality. He knew what I would do with this and I have a big job ahead of me.
God Bless, Marlene
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