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Need Help And Iformation On How To Handle This With Spouse

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Subject: Need help and iformation on how to handle this with Spouse
Date: 09/04/2007

Yes, this is my first time talking to anyone with this matter. My wife of twenty years was diagnosed with stomach on July 11,2007. We was told it was already in the advanced stage at that time. We of course seeked other doctor to confirm the findings. We went from Kirkland Clinic to UCLA for someone to tell us this was not true. Finally the doctor at UCLA told us not to waste our time going to other doctors. We was told maybe six months with the first doctor, they wanted to do a explotory surgery to find the extend. The news was that had spread down to her overies and out side the stomach in other areas.

She has been sick and not able to eat much for several months. She has lost twenty pounds in that time. She is now at 92 pds. The problem is that she will not tell me when she is feeling bad or ways I can help make her more comfortable. She has start now started lossing her food by bowel movements within one and half hours after eating. I try to call the doctor with the new problems and she gets mad. It's like she just wants me sit back and watch her die. Should I just sit back and let her have her way at this point? I think in ordet keep from having arguements I should just stop try to help and let her do as she wants. That is so hard to do. I know the out come is death in a very short time. I have two kids to worry about how to deal with at the end. They are getting more upset each day with our discussions about treatment. This all I will write tonight, Did not want to make it to long. However as I stated this the time to discuss with anyone........Thanks

Subject: RE: Need help and iformation on how to handle this with Spouse
Date: 09/05/2007

Hey man I'm so sorry to hear about your wife.  This is such a tragic disease.  I'm going through the same thing with my dad.  I would not give up hope.  Is she a candidate for chemo?  The best thing you can do is to stay by her side and help her as much as you can...even though she refuses it.  Never give up hope.

God bless.

M

Subject: RE: Need help and iformation on how to handle this with Spouse
Date: 09/07/2007
I am so sorry about your wife. I was diagnosed in December with surgery to remove 80% of my stomach. It has been a very long and hard winter, and I can not imagine what it would have been like had I not had my husband. So many nights he would get on his knees and say talk to me babe how you doing? I am so sorry your wife is not letting you do things to help her. It is hard for the woman because we are usually the caregivers of the family, and we think we should be there to do it all. I am sure there is so much going through her mind right now wondering how you and the kids will be after she is gone. I can imagine how horrible that must be to know the end is near. Keep doing what you are doing, be supportive and loving. Please know you are in my prayers, this is such a horrible disease. Good luck and God bless all of you.
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