My Daddy Has Cancer

Hello everyone. 5 weeks ago my dad was brought into hospital and we were led to believe that he had cysts around his pancreas and kidneys that could be dealt with through surgery. I booked a holiday to America over a year ago and so I still went believing that my dad would be okay.

I got back yesterday and my family told me that my dad has pancreatic cancer. They said the tumour is too big to do anything about it and that he as 3-6months to live.

 I really can't believe this has happened. I've always been such a daddy's girl and cannot imagine my life without him. I'm 20 years old and can't believe that my dad won't be around to see me graduate, get married, have kids etc. I feel like my life has ended and I don't know how I'm going to cope with this. I can't understand that there is nothing that can be done about it, surely there is something?!? They can't just let him die.

 I would appreciate it if someone could talk to me about this who has maybe experienced the same thing. No-one in my family has had cancer before-I'm just really confused right now.

You've done the right thing coming to this message board for support.  You'll find a lot of information and supporters here who have similar stories.  May I suggest that you post your message under the "pancreatic cancer" section.  That is where you will get specific information about pancreatic cancer.

I am not very familliar with this particular cancer but from what I've read here, there are times when surgery can be done.  I know that there are different types of treatment. 

I know that this is a very difficult time for you and your family.  Learn as much as you can, and reach out to those who can help you.  Try to remain in the present and not focus on the future or "what will be."  I know that this is hard, but it's the best way to function.

Peace and blessings to you.

 

On 9/5/2007 leanne2287 wrote:

Hello everyone. 5 weeks ago my dad was brought into hospital and we were led to believe that he had cysts around his pancreas and kidneys that could be dealt with through surgery. I booked a holiday to America over a year ago and so I still went believing that my dad would be okay.

I got back yesterday and my family told me that my dad has pancreatic cancer. They said the tumour is too big to do anything about it and that he as 3-6months to live.

 I really can't believe this has happened. I've always been such a daddy's girl and cannot imagine my life without him. I'm 20 years old and can't believe that my dad won't be around to see me graduate, get married, have kids etc. I feel like my life has ended and I don't know how I'm going to cope with this. I can't understand that there is nothing that can be done about it, surely there is something?!? They can't just let him die.

 I would appreciate it if someone could talk to me about this who has maybe experienced the same thing. No-one in my family has had cancer before-I'm just really confused right now.

I can understand what you are going through, my mom had Adreanl Cancer, extremely rare, but she was unable to get chemo because they don't have a protocol for it, she did have cyberknife, what that does it is targeted radiation.  ( Mind you her cancer was very aggressive, everyone is different) If he is a candidate it is suppose to help shrink the tumor slow down the growth, then surgery can be done,  they can also give him chemo, Just keep on fighting, go for more than one opinion.  How old is your did, he must be young if you are 20. Where do you live.  Get in touch with the Cancer Institute of America- they will tell you where there is a hospital close to  you that specialize in his type of cancer.  Call the American Cancer Society.  Be your dad advocate. Good luck. If you need to talk -we are here. 

God Speed   Marie

Hi Leanne,

My sympathy goes out to you and your family as you start on this terrible journey. I lost my dad 9 months ago to PC and I can say I would never wish this disease on my worst enemy. I am 33 years old I still cry because I miss him so much. I myself am a daddy's girl and I feel your pain.

I wish that I had good things to tell you, but your whole world is about to change. My best advice is to spend as much time with him as you can, because time will be very short. Make sure you make your peace with him and tell him everything you have ever wanted to say because when the end comes you wont get another chance. The end will come very fast so don't waist one precious moment.

I wish that there was some way to ease your pain. The best I can do is give you my email (

--Message edited by CancerCompass staff. For personal protection, email address removed. Consider private reply. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html--

) and say that I will tell you whatever I can.

My prayers are with you and I hope that he doesn't have to much suffering.

Hi Leanne

My prayers and thoughts are with you, my mother was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer twelve months ago and they also gave her six months, Firstly don't believe what the docs tell you, that decision is entirley between your dad and his maker.

Its hard my angel and things are not going to get easy, remember to love and support unconditionally and you will always be your daddy's little girl, Im so sorry you are going through this but be gentle with you in this hard time and just love your dad, he is always going to be there no matter what.

Be strong and be gentle, words don't mean much at times likes this as we are so wracked with emotion to even want to comprehend the true meaning of cancer, its just something we can't see, its an invisible entity that just comes into our space and we have to cope with it. Some days will be harder then others but just love love love love as much as you can, be at peace with this, we can't at this moment change the situations we are in except accept them and just love love love.

Again my thoughts and prayers are with you and its okay to not be okay for all of us.

Love light and miracles

Joanna

I want you to know you are not alone in this. I also lost my father out of the blue and very quickly about 6 months ago. In february, he was told he had cancer, stage 4 (the worst stage) in several areas of his body. They tried 2 seesions of chemo - by his third visit, they cancelled it. He wasn't improving just growing weaker. By April, the said there is nothing they can do to stop it and gave him about 4 more months. We lost him painfully exactly one month later. My father was only 56 years old. My daughter was 9 months old when he passed away. She will never truly experience how great he was...telling her is not the same as knowing it personnally. My son is 6 and his papa was his best friend in the world. He's filled with anger and misunderstanding coping with the loss. It is hard on him..he cries for him, screams his name a few times a week. I never thought I would face what I am facing now... I have been through alot in my life so far and my father was right there holding my hand. I am also a daddy's girl ....there is no one in the world like my daddy.I wish I could tell you it gets better. Maybe down the road it will....but for now, the more time passes, the more I miss him. It is the little things you miss most.... for me, hearing my dad call my name when I walk through his door, seeing him wink at me when he was saying something funny, watching him with wrestle with my son. The best advise I can give...be with him as much as you can now - say what you need to say to him and when it is time to say good bye, let him know its okay to go. Be there for your mom. Its the most difficult thing I've ever experienced but I know it has too be so much harder on my mom. My mom has never been without my dad for 35 years and now she feels deeply alone. Their house now has a new found silence and her life is completely and forever altered. We can break away and put ourselves in denial when it it becomes too much, but our moms live the reality every minute each day. Take care of yourself and your family - may strength be with you through this journey.

Coming from someone who just lost the love of their life to cancer, I have to agree with dealing with right now not looking too far into the future.  You have to ENJOY every second of every day that you do have with your dad.  My future was taken away from me and I now have to find a new path to follow, but I tried to enjoy all the time I had with him, even in "the dark days" I tried to do things that would make him feel my love and know that as long as I got to spend time with him I was content.  When he passed, he passed peacefully and I believe it was because he was able to enjoy his final days with me.  I don't know if this has helped you any but I am speaking from recent experience, Tom hasn't even been gone a week.  Cancer is a really hard road to travel, not only for the patient but also for their loved ones.  Just be there for your dad as much as you possibly can.

hi, I understand what you are going through and you should know that you aren't alone, it will be ok. My mom has breast cancer, stage 4. I also have felt the terrible sadness that my mother won't be around to see me go through the next stages in life. I am 19 and in college and I get so sad when i think that she will not be around to see me graduate or meet the man i marry. If you need to talk I am available and I definitely understand what you are feeling right now. Peace with with you know, in this hard time. Trust that God has a plan for your father, and don't forget that it is ok to be sad, but you can't let the sadness overwhelm and become you. Annie

I too am a dadys girl, I lost my dad to prostate cancer, If my dad had 50 cents he would give me his last, I am so sad without my dad, and to turn around and have my daughters loose ther dad nov of 07 to stomach cancer, we had a grandson that still speaks of pee paw, he may see a man and say thers pee paw, grandmomy, and it breaks my heart , he,s only 4, and he wont experience his grandfather either, and it hurts soooo bad, Our youngest daughter, will one day get married and her daddy suppose to walk her down the isle, but he wont, I told her I will for both of us, yes its soooo hard and no it dosent get better right away, because these are the people we love so much and were such a impact in our lives, I always thought my dad would be here! this is what I say about both of the men in my life, my prayers are with all of you, that this terrible sickness will one day be cured!