At work...

4 Posts | Page(s): 1 

At work...

by daddysgirl_10 on Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:00 AM

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My Dad was diagnosed 2 months ago, and only given approximately 3 months to live.  Here we are, in month 3, and my dad has now been hospitalized, since his pain level could no longer be managed at home.  I'm completely consumed by this, and finding it very difficult to cope.  I've told my boss of my situation, and he's been very understanding.  He's been allowing me to take time when I need to, as well as turning a blind eye when I leave a little early to go visit my dad in the hospital.  I also often arrive late, as sleeping now seems a thing of the past. 

My concern here is my coworkers.  Many of them do not know why my schedule seems so non-committal, and why my boss seems so lenient with me.  I can't help but feel that they are beginning to resent these things, as a few of them are starting to make snyde remarks.  I am the only girl in my department, and my attendance at work truly affects no one else, as I am actually my own department.  This means that when I am not here, my coworkers are not ANY busier, nor do any of them have to do my work.  I've discussed this with my boss, who insists that I need to do what's right for me, and that I'm not obligated to answer to anyone but him. 

It's hard for me to talk about my dad's condition without getting very emotional (keep in mind, my coworkers are all men) as well, I feel like this is somewhat private.  Do I tell them, so that they will lay off the commentary, and risk guilting them all (which I don't think is necessary), or do I suck up the frustration I feel when remarks are made?  Does anyone else out there have trouble functioning at work?  This is all still quite new to me, and I'm sure it will get easier, but when?

Kylie

RE: At work...

by MrsAl on Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:00 AM

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Kylie,

I am sorry to hear about your dad. Since your boss already knows about the situation, perhaps he just needs your permission to discreetly inform your co-workers of your situation. Maybe you should approach him and discuss this. I would think that he could share this information with tact and your fellow workers would lose their possible resentment.

Good luck and God Bless.

RE: At work...

by BubbaW on Sun Nov 11, 2007 12:00 AM

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Kylie's suggestion is great. Your boss could be very helpful with this situation. But, no matter what your co-workers say or do, please do not let it make any difference. Take the time you need to be with your Dad. I lost my mom several years ago to cancer, and tried to keep up with a job and family. . . and I didn't give her the time that I now wish I had. If I could turn back the clock, co-workers, job, nothing would have taken me from her side. I am now going through this all over again with my husband's cancer. I'm still working, but second time around, I know what is MOST important in life. Please. . if you have to just ignore your co-workers, and take care of what really matters. God bless you and keep you. JD

RE: At work...

by catamounts on Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:00 AM

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Hi kylie,

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. I know exactly the feelings you are going through at work. I find my dads cancer to constantly be on my mind and everything else I do during the day is just me purely going through the motions. Thats great to hear about your boss. As for your co-workers I feel you don't even owe them an explanation. During this time the only understanding/well being you need to worry about is you. Let the reactions of your co-workers deflect off you like butter hitting a teflon coated pan. Of course its your department and employee relationships are important but in the end it honestly doesn't matter what they think. Their is also something called a Family Medical Leave. Maybe you could check with your HR department? It's paid time off to deal specifically with these sorts of things. Also from what I understand its federally mandated so they must provide it to you.

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