Big Problem

Hi, I have written on several boards before about a variety of issues. 

One issue that I haven't addressed is the following:

My mother is currently going through stage 4 colon cancer, has been through 4-5 lines of chemo and currently we are at a halt.  We are trying to research different options. The issue is:  my father...he is ill himself with a neurological impairment and gets very irritated and irrational with paranoia, yells and screams alot for no apparent reason.  My mother, who should be getting emotional support from him, is on pins and needles...she tries to ignore his outbursts, but it is hard for anyone, especially for her.  He has been a difficult person always, but his disease is exaggerating the negative aspects of his personality.  I have spoken to my mother about him seeing a psychiatrist and possibly medicating him to improve his mood (I don't think that his agitation is very healthy for him as well)...she keeps saying she will do it....How can we address this issue with what is good and healthy for both parents?  She has struggled so much and I want this time to be more emotionally and psychologically easier for her...she is one of those people who always do for others and keeps things internally...I want her to have some quality to her life with a partner who empathizes with her and shows love and support to her in these difficult times. Thank you for any suggestions.  Elaina

On 9/20/2007 Cookiemouse wrote:

Hi, I have written on several boards before about a variety of issues. 

One issue that I haven't addressed is the following:

My mother is currently going through stage 4 colon cancer, has been through 4-5 lines of chemo and currently we are at a halt.  We are trying to research different options. The issue is:  my father...he is ill himself with a neurological impairment and gets very irritated and irrational with paranoia, yells and screams alot for no apparent reason.  My mother, who should be getting emotional support from him, is on pins and needles...she tries to ignore his outbursts, but it is hard for anyone, especially for her.  He has been a difficult person always, but his disease is exaggerating the negative aspects of his personality.  I have spoken to my mother about him seeing a psychiatrist and possibly medicating him to improve his mood (I don't think that his agitation is very healthy for him as well)...she keeps saying she will do it....How can we address this issue with what is good and healthy for both parents?  She has struggled so much and I want this time to be more emotionally and psychologically easier for her...she is one of those people who always do for others and keeps things internally...I want her to have some quality to her life with a partner who empathizes with her and shows love and support to her in these difficult times. Thank you for any suggestions.  Elaina

Maybe you can have a talk with your fathers PCP or GP so that an antidepressant or mild tranquilizer can be prescribed as part of his treatment plan.  I am a mental health professional and I know that irritability and even anger can be a symptom of underlying depression, especially in males.  His MD may have a way of talking to him so that he takes it.  I've seen this work wonders but it takes about three weeks to a month to take effect.  I got my fatheri-in-law and my Dad to take (quit an undertaking believe me-they were both from the "old school") but it definitely worked.  Just a suggestion.  I hope it helps.

Donna