He Fears I May Leave Him

John was diagnosed in Aug. with Pancreaic Cancer, stage four.

I asked him this morning how he slept. I did not feel him getting

up much.  He said he had rough time. He aske me to sit down

and asked me if our relationship can work throught this. This is

the second time. I told him I am not leaving, no way.  He looks

scared when he asks me. We have been together over a year

now and I so sad because he will be leaving me.  I don't tell him.

Just wondere if anyone else has experienced this.

I completely understand how you feel....

My boyfriend of a year and half now was diagnosed with grade 3 brain cancer (less than 5% survive over 2 years)

In the beginning a lot of people his parents included questioned why I was sticking around, not leaving him. It never crossed my mind actually. He asked a few times if I was going to leave him

I knew from the day I met him I wanted to be with him and his cancer didnt change that. So for the past year and I am hoping many more (but I dont know) I have been with him and I love him so much more.

I am terrified to lose him it scares me every day. I dont want to be alone and I also cant imagine not being with him. But that doesnt mean I will leave him.

Its hard and it sucks and I just try to enjoy what we have now. He is doing so well with the treatments I hope your husband is too. Just reassure him and know he would do the same.

I have lived with this fear everyday since June 2005 when my hsiband was diagnosed with Stage IV Colorectal Caner -- some days I deal with it better than others -- of course, we have 5 children, so I do have to focus on their needs as well.  But our vows were "in sickness and in health" and both of us truly meant them when we spoke them 18 years ago.  Although neither one of us could ever foresee of much those vows would be tested.  At that's what cancer does, it truly tests the strength of a relationship and a family.

All you can do is to just keep doing what you are presently doing -- love him everyday and never miss an opportunity to tell him and show him how much he means to you and how blessed you are that he is in your life.

Joe & I just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary and I honestly didn't think we would get to do that -- I even told him that I didn't want a gift -- that I already had the most precious gift I could ever want -- that he was here to celebrate the day with me.  And I truly do not know if we will get to celebrate our 20th anniversary -- odds are against it, but right now, while he is cancer free, we are going to enjoy this wonderful holiday season (and start holding our breaths for the next round of tests/bloodwork due in January)

God Bless & Peace to both of you,

Lori