Not Sure How To Cope

Hi, I'm brand new on this site and just want to talk with people who have, or are, going through what I am.  I lost my wife July 22nd to Melanoma.  She was only 30 years old and mother to a 4 year old beautiful little girl.  I am having a pretty hard time dealing with this.  The strange thing is that the first 2 or 3 weeks after she died were the easiest.  It seems like it just keeps getting harder every day now.  When it gets real bad, I usually self medicate with alcohol.  That helps until the next day.  Then things are even worse because alcohol is a depressant.  My little girl, Maddi, started Kindergarten this year and my wife Jodi isn't here to see her.  Jodi was a stay at home mom and substitute teacher, so the house just seems empty without her here.  Can anyone give me advice on how to deal with this better??  Thanks in advance for anything ya'll can do.

I tried to message you re this -

not sure if you received it or not

I am devasted to hear of your loss.

I also must say that as you well know, alcohol will rob these beautiful little girls of their father and you are all they have left.

Get some grief counseling, have friends, family watch the kids.  Get some help for yourself before they lose you as well.

Yes, the beginning is the easiest in some cases, the shock of it all, and all the work that needs to be done keeps you occupied.  It's when you go back to the normal 9-5 day that lonliness and grief can be overwhelming.

Do not try to drink this pain away, it will never happen.  Talk through it, work through it and be all that you can be for those precious babies that you and the woman you love so dearly made.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Beth

I agree 110% with Beth.  As terrible as your loss is, think of what Jodi would want you to do.  She would want you to focus on the little girl you both share and you cannot do this with alcohol.  There are counselors out there who know how to deal with the grief you are experiencing.  Please check with your doctor, clergy, family, anyone who can direct you in that direction.  Little Maddi lost her mommy, don't let her lose her daddy as well.  I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are but it is possible that Jodie is with you and Maddie and if you are sober and look for signs she will reveal herself and lend you comfort. May God give you the strength and guidance to help you to be the father you need to be.  I'll also keep you and Maddie in my prayers.