Robbie & Family

Hello All:   Once again I thank you for your very supportive messages.  Robbie just finished the dilaudid that was ordered for him at the cancer centre.  He seems a little more alert.  I have been over with him the last 2 days while Maria worked.  I guess the "mom" in me just took over.  I told him quite plainly that he had lost about 8 pounds this past week while he was doing nothing but sleeping.  On Monday I forced the issue and made him eat some breakfast - not a lot - but some.  I then told him it was time for a snack and got him a large chocolate milk shake.  At lunch he asked me what I was going to eat and I said to him what are you eating.  He told me he was tired and not hungry.  I told him if you don't eat then I am not eating.  He made salmon sandwiches for us both and he ate his and then finished off the milk shake.  He was complaining that the girls did not want to stay with him alone and I told him that I thought perhaps going from codeine to hydromorphone was too much meds for him and that for the past 6 days all he has done is sleep.  He has drank but has not eaten enough to keep a bird alive and he looks terrible. Since he keeps falling asleep they are probably afraid that something will happen to him and they won't know what to do.  He asked me if I really thought that the meds were too strong and I said that I most definitely do.  I told him that he needs to discuss it with our family doc this afternoon.  He followed the directions and took 20 pills of the stong stuff in 6 days and spent most of that time sleeping.  Since finishing the meds on Monday he has been going to the bathroom and eating small meals.  Maria called me from her job and we talked for about 1 hour and she asked me if I thought she needed some help from the doc.  I told her I definitely did and that she should go with Robbie this afternoon and ask.  I told her that Robbie could probably do with some meds for depression as well.  He has been laughing at me the last couple of days and telling me that he can tell I am his mother.  I told him quite frankly that while I am not stupid and I know that he is quite ill  I do not think he is as close to death as he has himself believing and that he needs to pull his socks up and get going.  I know that sounds harsh but if he does not believe in himself he is only going to get worse.  I will let you know what the doc says today.

Hope you understand that I love my son dearly and that his liver has not completely shut down (bilirubin is high but no jaundice - even in the whites of his eyes).  He is still able to go to the bathroom and since I have gotten after him he has been able to go more.  He is also staying awake a little more.  I told him to get up and go for coffee with his friends or even walk his daughters to school.  Live while he can.  Believe me I am not thinking that he is well but I am thinking that he needs to live while he can.  I feel that he needed me to his mom and to tell him how I felt.  Everyone else seems to just say tht he looks pretty good considering everything - I don't think that was helping him cope.

Hugs & Kisses and God Bless

Lynn (Mom of Robbie, age 35)