Robbie And Much Thanks To All Of You

Hello All:  The last few days have been very difficult for the whole family.  I have not been able to weep like everyone else.  I don't know why.  My youngest son told me it was because I have cried for 18 months.  I saw Robbie every day for the last 6 weeks of his life, and previously if I did not see him I spoke with him on the phone.  I knew for the past 2 weeks that he was losing the battle and many times I cried when I was alone.  I saw Robbie on Saturday evening when I returned his 2 little girls after a visit with us.  At first he did not seem to know me and then he said "Hi Mom"  I told him that I thought that I had loved him longer than anyone else on the planet.  He laughed with me and said I sure hope so you are my mother.  I stayed with him about 30 minutes and watched his every move.  Although he was not in pain he would have dry heaves every 5 minutes or so and it tore my heart out watching him.  When we were leaving, I went over to him and I took both of his hands and he said 1 more day Mom just one more day and we will have Thanksgiving together.  I whispered to him if you can make 1 more day that is great but remember I don't want to lose you but I cannot stand to see you suffer anymore.  If Jesus comes take His Hand and go.  You know that we will look after Maria and the girls.  He smiled at me and told me he loved me and I kissed him and said I love you too.  The next morning he was gone home with God.  We had 3 visitations at the funeral home and I stood by the casket all 6 hours and there was not a break in the people who came.  This morning we had the service at our church and it was packed - standing room only and our church is very large.  Over 200 people came to say good-bye.  What a life my son lived - what a legacy he has left. 

To all of you who have sent messages of condolence - many thanks!  Over the past few months since I found this site I feel as though I have gotten to know all of you.  I think that I need to take a break for a little while but I will check in on all of you when I am ready.  Please take care and again many thanks for your words of love and encouragement over the past months and especially this past week.  I have been told that everyone grieves in their own way and I feel that at some point I will break down but I felt the need to be strong for my other 2 sons, Maria and the girls and my other 4 grandchildren.  My husband has been crying all week and I think that once I am alone when he returns to work I will have my time. 

Love and all my best to you all - you are all great friends and I wish all those who are still fighting the best of luck.

Lynn (Mom of Robbie)