After they are gone..do you cry???

I have lost both my mum and dad and in each case the grief came differently. There is no 'right' way to grieve. Generally it follows a pattern or cycle but people react in different ways. It is common that it can hit hard after 4 - 6 months so be prepared for this and have friends and family to support you. I was an only child and it can be doubly hard for us. There's no-one else to support us and we are often very close to our parents. So for those who are suffering loss - take heart - you are not alone. remember the good things about your loved one. They are always with you - in your heart and mind. What would they want for you? Listen to them 'talking' to you and feel their love support you.

 

On 10/15/2007 hawke wrote:

Hi everyone,

It was five weeks ago today that my best friend, my Mom died.  Here I am, at 3:20 a.m., sitting here writing a note to strangers.  I can't sleep tonite, it's almost like I am at hospice center again and it's all happening again.  I didn't sleep for almost four straight days when my Mom died, it was very surreal.  I am not crying, nor really upset, most of the time.  I worry that I am not grieving enough or correctly.  I really cried, a mission tears, the month before my Mom passed away, as I realized that I was losing her.  Is that why I am not super upset?  Or, is five weeks enough to really feel better?  Is it possible to grieve BEFORE someone dies?  I read somewhere that you should 'jumpstart' your grief by looking at memorabilia and/or listening to music that makes you think of your loved one.  What do you all think?  That seems a little self-injurious to me.  Let me know what you are experiencing and if you think I should go get help.

Oooh sweetie...I feel exactly the same way as you.... My mother has been batteling a very bad cancer for over 5 years... about 7 years ago diagnosed with Colon cancer had surgery and chemo clean for 2 years...right after I married my husband it came back again...chemo and radiation shrunk the tumor.. and then 2 years ago came back with a vengence..and spread to her lungs....put her in ICU for a month... and then it spread again to her vaginal area and was inoperatable... well tonight she died.... and I am in shock more than anything..... but I knew it was coming Hospice was in there for her and they knew...and I cried often...and I listed to music and looked at pictures.... and tonight I hardly cry and am more able to control my emotions...and am asking myself is it because I don't care enough...but I know that is not the case...I think part of me really believes she is in a better place...and am more at peace now that I know she is not suffering anymore...I think you need to do what is comfortable for you as you grieve over your mother.. there is no certain way for someone to grieve or no set time period to grieve for...don't be so hard on yourself you lost your mother...I am really sorry about your loss.... my mother was 64 she would of been 65 on Dec 18th...7 days from now....this time of year stinks for me and always will for a while... but I need to be strong I have an almost 3 year old really looking forward to santa this year...and I can't let him down...god bless and I am really really sorry about your loss....