I Am So Angry

Angry that my father was taken from us after a short 7 months. Angry that the doctors said there was nothing more they can do. Angry that his last days were spent doped up on morphine, and all he was doing was breathing.

 

I cannot get this out of my head. I miss him so much, and cannot believe how quickly this disease took him from us. Chemo did not work, nothing worked. Every day was horrible for him. He couldnt eat, couldnt drink, was on a feeding tube for 14 hours a day. All of this to a man who did nothing but good, helped others, and was a wonderful father. I am just so sad, depressed, and mad. Im sorry to come here and do this, but most people really dont understand. I cannot believe there is no cure for this horrible disease, after all the money and research that has been put into it.

 

:(

I understand your anger.  I lost my father to stomach cancer in August.  His battle was very short, only 3 months, and he just turned 60.  I'm angry most days, because I always think why the "good" people.  I even get jealous when I see older couples walking down the street, knowing that my mother will never get that chance.  I get upset when I hear about older couples who cannot get along and here we are in this situation.  I'm also depressed that my grandmother saw her only child die and her husband die of the same disease.  The only solace I can tell you is "there are people in much more terrible situations".  You only have to watch your local evening news to know this is true.  It doesn't help that much, but it does put your life into perspective.

But the nail in the coffin, is the research.  R&D in the US only goes into cancer that is prevalent in the US eg leukemia, lung, skin, colon, breast, etc.  Stomach cancer may be a global killer, but it is not in the US.

Tell your friends and family to get a referral from their doctor for an endoscopy at their next checkup.  If the doctor tells you that it is unlikely, make up a story.  You and I qualify because a family member had it, so anyone can tell their doctor it "runs" in the family.  As you already know, the symptoms for stomach cancer doesn't show up until it is too late.

 

 

On 10/15/2007 Kristennyc wrote:

Angry that my father was taken from us after a short 7 months. Angry that the doctors said there was nothing more they can do. Angry that his last days were spent doped up on morphine, and all he was doing was breathing.

 

I cannot get this out of my head. I miss him so much, and cannot believe how quickly this disease took him from us. Chemo did not work, nothing worked. Every day was horrible for him. He couldnt eat, couldnt drink, was on a feeding tube for 14 hours a day. All of this to a man who did nothing but good, helped others, and was a wonderful father. I am just so sad, depressed, and mad. Im sorry to come here and do this, but most people really dont understand. I cannot believe there is no cure for this horrible disease, after all the money and research that has been put into it.

 

:(

I am so sorry to hear that your father was taken away from you.  My mom passed away on June 26, 2007 because of stomach cancer (linitis plastica).  My mom's health started going downhill middle of December 2006.  Her last week and half was spent in the icu on a ventilator.  I still had hope that she would still come out of it.  I was applying dmso all over my mom's body hoping that it would still cure her.  I remember lying in the hospital bed with her swollen legs, arms, and slight her swollen stomach with this tube down her nose for the green bile to come out.  She was also on alot of morphine.  I still cry everyday missing my beautiful wonderful mother.  And she was only 56 years old.  I don't feel anger but sad.  I know that God needs her.  God also needs your Dad up in heaven.  Just remember that.

 

Believe me, I understand the whole anger thing...especially when you see "old" people walking around in good health.  There's no easy way to cope with it.  You just have to let the anger pass, and eventually it will.

 

Although it has not happened yet, I am angry as well.  My mom has been battling this demon for almost two years- it took them so long to diagnose her corrrectly.  She is fighting, but the doctors tell us that her days are limited.  We are waiting to take her home on hospice.  And after all the chemo and surgeries, the cancer has gone to the brain----this cancer is not supposed to do that, but it is rare and it has happened.  Now I get to watch her sleep, lay awake in pain, or become totally delusional. 

 

However, despite all the anger, I am fortuante enough to have a mother that I loved dearly and she loved me as much in return.  I am fortuate enough to tell her how proud I am of her for the battle she fought.  She is an inspiration.  The only solace I have right now is knowing she is going somewhere free of feeding tubes, drainage tubes, chemotherapy, blood thinners, and pain medicane.  She is going somewhere to live in the peace and happiness she so....... deserves. 

I will have to keep reminding myself of this when the anger and reality of what our life could have been occurs. 

 

On 10/16/2007 Jennifern wrote:

Although it has not happened yet, I am angry as well.  My mom has been battling this demon for almost two years- it took them so long to diagnose her corrrectly.  She is fighting, but the doctors tell us that her days are limited.  We are waiting to take her home on hospice.  And after all the chemo and surgeries, the cancer has gone to the brain----this cancer is not supposed to do that, but it is rare and it has happened.  Now I get to watch her sleep, lay awake in pain, or become totally delusional. 

 

However, despite all the anger, I am fortuante enough to have a mother that I loved dearly and she loved me as much in return.  I am fortuate enough to tell her how proud I am of her for the battle she fought.  She is an inspiration.  The only solace I have right now is knowing she is going somewhere free of feeding tubes, drainage tubes, chemotherapy, blood thinners, and pain medicane.  She is going somewhere to live in the peace and happiness she so....... deserves. 

I will have to keep reminding myself of this when the anger and reality of what our life could have been occurs. 

 

you have to stay strong and try to be happy, your dad is waching you over the other side. You have to show him that you are doing better every day so that he can feel good and return to Heaven, otherwise he will be sad and keep hanging around because you are not healed.  My only brother had stage III stomach cancer, He had a first surgery in 3/05 and later he had two more surgery and probably 21 cycles of Chemo treatment and 7 cycles of radiation it kept him going for two and a half year from the first surgery, he passed away in 08/01/07. In his sick time, I am the only care giver, since his wife abandoned him just because she can not handle cancer patient.  I am very exhausted. I felt relieved now since my dear brother is no longer suffered and I am sure that he is now being rewarded after getting out that long dark tunnel and he knew that I have tried by best to get him to the end with a dignity.

 

On 10/18/2007 loc0322 wrote:

. In his sick time, I am the only care giver, since his wife abandoned him just because she can not handle cancer patient.  

That's horrible.  This wife of his sounds like a real piece of garbage..

uhg...these are my thoughts too! i am so sorry for you and all those who also responded. i know my time will come.

my 74yr old father, who was in perfect health and traveled around to see family and friends b4 being diagnosed in july. they did surgery in august and found it had spread to liver, colon & lymph system. they have given him about 10 months or so. he just started chemo 2 weeks ago. thank goodness no bad side affects...yet.

i pray for the best. i am so worried. we are so close! i have an almost 4yr old daughter w/ low functioning autism & she and my dad are very close and share a special bond. she won't understand........just as i don't....WHY???

i can only imagine what you mean..when you say you see older couples living their lives and you get upset. i am sure i will feel the same..yes, my dad is 74...but both my folks look/act/feel 60 easily. both in great health! (minus the cancer) right now...when i see children outside running and playing that is how i feel. mad...envious...my daughter can't yet walk in the grass, or play w/ other kids...so many issues going on. lots of therapy. can't take her shopping for longer than an hour. so i know...i will feel robbed again when my time comes and i see and elderly couple. so sad...

i will keep al in my prayers. such a tough thing to go through. kris

Hello, I am very sorry that your father has cancer. However, I want to encourage you not to give up hope. Modern methods of treatment are very taxing and hard for people to handle, especially when they are elderly. Something he might consider as an alternative is Macrobiotics. I don't know if you've heard of macrobiotics, but if you haven't, it is a diet/lifestyle that is based on eating vegetables and whole grains and eliminating meat, dairy, eggs, sugars, and processed foods from the diet. These foods have been proven to be the causes and contributors to a variety of diseases including cancer. Many people have cured themselves of cancer by adopting a macrobiotic lifestyle. A book that I highly recommend is The Cancer Prevention Diet by Michio Kushi. Not only does Mr. Kushi write about the specific dietary causes of roughly 25 cancers, he also writes about the specific macrobiotic cures and has scientific proof and many testimonies to back up his claims. Macrobiotics is not looked upon kindly by doctors for a variety of reasons, but they are slowly being forced to admit the many benefits of a macrobiotic lifestyle. Many will claim that is causes malnutrition and that there is little scientific proof to back it up. Macrobiotics cannot cause malnutrition unless it is not being followed correctly, and there is definitely a large amount of scientific evidence to back it up. I obviously cannot ask or expect you to have blind faith in my claims. If you are interested in this, I would be more than happy to give you a list of books on macrobiotics, both personal stories of recovery as well as books that contain scientific evidence to support all of their stories. If you would like to see the short versions of several recovery stories, I recommend going to youtube and entering "diet saves their lives vol. 1" in the search bar. Other recovery stories are listed on the side of the screen. I personally have not heard of anyone you has strictly followed a macrobiotic diet who has not been helped/ cured by it. If your father is willing to consider this, it is definitely something worth looking into. I would be happy to try and answer any questions you might have if you are interested, although a macrobiotic counselor would be better equipped to answer your questions than I am. I pray that this gives you some hope. After I lost my father to leukemia, I was completely hopeless and devastated. When I discovered Macrobiotics, it changed my life and it has given me a temendous amount of hope. I pray that it can do the same for you, your father, and your family. Good luck, Grace