Latest messages for CancerCompass discussion http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,17475,0.htm Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ On Apr 02, 2010 4:57 PM epagak wrote: My father died from lung cancer on March 17 2010. I fought with him for 40 days. I took pictures from the first day he went in the hospital till the day we buried him. It was the worst expirience in my life. I've been a smoker since 14. I'm now 38. I stopped smoking when i saw my dad's first xray. When he died in my arms i swore to him that i would take care of my mom and that i would never touch a smoke again. I don't ever want anyone who loves me go through what i went through with my dad. I can help alot if anyone has questions as to what exactly happens during the last stages. My dad went in the hospital with stage 4. He never had any serious health issues while living. It just hit him 1 shot. The doctors told me that he had 2 months to live. This was on Feb 7th. He died on March 17th. If I can help anyone. Please do not hesitate. Be strong.My Mum has lung cancer (she's had cancer for 9 years).  She had 6 months of gruelling chemo which hasn't helped as much as we'd hoped it would.  Now they have given her a blast of radio therapy, just six weeks later.  Then if that fails they go back to the chemo. Why?  why do they keep pumping her with drugs when clearly she's coming to the end?  Also what is the end like?  I'm scared of her dying but I'm more scared of not knowing what to expect.  Any thing, most of all the fact and the truth would be what I need.  My mum is burying her head and won't share how she's feeling or the details of what is happening janiejanie Sun, 20 May 2012 00:00:00 GMT On Oct 27, 2007 12:00 AM babysurf13 wrote: Hi everybody, I am Chelsea. My father was told he had lung cancer in early August. He did the cemo treatment and it did not work. He went to the doctors after that and they gave him 6 months to live.  But for the people who have lost there love ones from it i have a couple of questtions. Did you know when his time was up? And how did you move on from it. I need to know more about it. I am only a 15yrs girl, that doesnt know anything. So if you people would help me out that would be great.thanks<3Hey, i'm so sorrry to hear that. I'm 18 and back in october my father passed away from brain and spiral cancer. It was his 4th time getting cancer and he just couldn't fight it anymore. He was given and month and it was the hardest experience of my life. My father and I were as close as they get and to see him getting worse everyday and me not being able to do anything killed me. But you just have to cherish this time you have with your father, talk to him about everything and anything. Hug him and tell him you love him as much as you can. Just spend as much time with him as you can. To answer your questions you know when it gets worse you can just sense it and see the changes. But right before my father passed away he had hospis taking care of him and she said we had to say goodbye and I new he heard every word I said to him that night. And chelsea even after he passes away he will ALWAYS be with you in your heart. He loves you so much your his little girl. And just know he is in a better place pain free now. It helps me sometime if i talk out loud to him it might help you keep that in mind. Again I am terribly sorry <3 jessica.kish11 Fri, 18 May 2012 00:00:00 GMT hi, im grace and going through a similar situation as you. im so sorry to hear about your dad, nothings harder than losing someone like that. my dad sound just like yours! he was diagnosed 2 years ago and is still battling. im 15 and just as scared as anyone dealing with this. i dnt know how to tell you how to cope because our situations are very different but i wanted to wish you and your 2 year old every happiness and i really hope that you find your way through this sad time <3 hope97 Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:00:00 GMT 5 years ago my father had his anual check up and the Doctor noticed a small spot in his lungs on an xray and told us there was nothing to worry about that we would just keep an eye on it. that doctor is a phony, february of 2011 we found out that it had grown significantly it had taken over both of his lungs, my father decided to try chemotherepy he has done chemo all the way up til last month our goal was to keep it where it was it might give us 3 more years with him but last month on a normal chemo day the doctor came in and told us chemo was no longer helping that it had spread to his throat and his liver they gave my daddy 2 months he is now trying radiation with a 3% chance it will slow the growth and also considering to stop. i completely understand why he wants to stop. who wants to be sick the last few months of there live just for 3 more months if that? its very selfish for me to ask him to do that this is entirely his desision, recently weve been noticing that he has been losing his voice... the doctors said he would more than likely die of pnemonia or basically suffocate but im only 17 and daddys little girl i am trying to be strong for him and my siblings and my mother but i dont know how to keep it together for more than a day i wait til my boyfriend falls asleep to cry myself to sleep,,, while juggling work and enrolling into college and trying to cope with this termanal illness that not only my father but the whole family has to deal with and i dont know how much longer i can put up this i can handle it attitude because i really cant,,,they say that attitude is very impotant in these cases and my father has one hell of an attitude towards it the day the doctors gave him a few months he said those werent his cat scans and it was a misdiagnosis :) gotta love him any advice on how to cope and how to get a 2 year old to cope with his papaw being sick please please help me out daddyslilgurl Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:00:00 GMT My father is going through this process now. I don't know how to deal with the pain. It's just too much, too soon. Since December 24th, my father's health has been deteriorating so so fast... Now he can't even talk. He says that smth in his throat hurts and he can't talk. He can't breath.. I feel desperate!! aysel292 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT My father died from lung cancer on March 17 2010. I fought with him for 40 days. I took pictures from the first day he went in the hospital till the day we buried him. It was the worst expirience in my life. I've been a smoker since 14. I'm now 38. I stopped smoking when i saw my dad's first xray. When he died in my arms i swore to him that i would take care of my mom and that i would never touch a smoke again. I don't ever want anyone who loves me go through what i went through with my dad. I can help alot if anyone has questions as to what exactly happens during the last stages. My dad went in the hospital with stage 4. He never had any serious health issues while living. It just hit him 1 shot. The doctors told me that he had 2 months to live. This was on Feb 7th. He died on March 17th. If I can help anyone. Please do not hesitate. Be strong. epagak Fri, 02 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT Chelsea my name is Mary Beth and I was diagnosed with stage iv lung cancer with mets.  I was diagnosed 3 years ago.  Never let your father give up its about will as well as any thing else.  I have 2 sons thank god my youngest is now 18 but he was your age when i was diagnosed and he had a hard time dealing with it and still is.  If you ever what to talk to someone let me know I bet he would talk to you.  My prayers go to you and your dad/  God bless you Marybeth43 Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT Babysurf13    I read the book Final Gifts it is a great book when my husband was dying it help me to understand what was happening. I wasn't afraid and I knew how to respond to him.   kzfamily   kzfamily Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT Hi, Babysurf13 There is a book I think you and your family should read. It will explain the whole process of dying, and the ways that the dying communicate with the people around them. The name of the book is "Final Gifts", and is authored by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley.  It is a collection of writings by Hospice nurses, explaining what the patient's movements and talking could mean. I hope you read it, and it takes away some of the fear you have now. I am so sorry you have to go through this! Mary Ann teachoz Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT hey ya luv my dad is dying of cancer 2 he has it in the liver lungd and kidneys and it has spreed... we got told in oct that he has till x-mas and he is still with us.. is ther any 1 out ther that could answer my question my dad is bringing up blood eif flem does any one no hoe long i have left wit my dad... i am 17 and i am the youngest of 7... and the best advice i can give u is tell ur dad everytin u want to tell him and make sure he knows u love him xxxxx daddysstar Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT  Hey, I am sorry for your lost of your dad and i can understand on how you feel my dad died when i was 13 yrs old and i am14 now. i now its very confusing and you are lost and you are sad. i have felt the same as you and i do get sad when i think about him.  Its a hard time when you lost your dad when you are 13,14 or 15 or even younger i now how it feel but you have to think about the good thing about it , God took him for a good reason even though you get mad or dont understand why he had to be the one taken by all the other people then the world  God needed him for a reason. he well watch over you and well be your guardian angel he well never leave your side he right their watching you when you dont notice, you might not see him but he their go to a priest and talk to him talk to your family if you need to talk to me i well give you my email i well pray for you!!!!!! daddysgirl11 Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT my dad has been given 2day to live but i dunno whats happening he lives in burnley so i dont c him much i am praying that he will be ok he got lung and throat cancer chatterbox1959 Fri, 26 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi Chelsey Sweetpea, I recently lost my best friend. The advice others have given you is great. I understand what you are going through, & always know, that you are not alone in this. There is lot's of help out there. Family & siblings are important, if you have them. I want to add: VERY IMPORTANT- talk to your guidance councelor at school & any of your teachers that you feel close to. I am a teacher & know this, esp at your age. You may not understand that teachers are human & care dearly for their students-esp ones that are going through such a difficult time. PLEASE ask for special help- it IS there for you. I will pray for you & Dad & just reply to me & I will give you my cell phone # to help you in anyway I can. All of my love & prayers, Hope Myfriendhope Sat, 10 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 10/27/2007 babysurf13 wrote:Hi everybody, I am Chelsea. My father was told he had lung cancer in early August. He did the cemo treatment and it did not work. He went to the doctors after that and they gave him 6 months to live.  But for the people who have lost there love ones from it i have a couple of questtions. Did you know when his time was up? And how did you move on from it. I need to know more about it. I am only a 15yrs girl, that doesnt know anything. So if you people would help me out that would be great.thanks<3hi chelsea my son is in your shoes hes only 13v and i have head neck and throat cancer and i cant imagine how terrifing this is for the children to have to go through , he stays by my side all the time he doesnt want to go outside or go anywhere because hes afraid that something might happen if hes not here , or he will come into my bedroom and sneak into bed with me.. the other night he came in and i was awake he asked me if i was alive still...i wanted to scream not at him but at the cancer for making this life like walking on egg shells...hes a wonderfull little guy and he masks it all so well im a paitent of hospice which means that I have exhausted all other ways of getting better ,can i ask how you handle the idea of loosing a parent is it pretty much the same as he handles it . I remember the day i told him about me having cancer he ran outside and flattened all 4 of my tires ....when i asked him why he did it           he told me it was so i couldnt go anywhere ...when he found out that I was inoperable he told me if I died he would kill himself so he could go to heaven with me ... i explained to him that it doesnt work that way and that I wasnt going anywhere ,,during the last year of this he has calmed down quite a bit ...it might be nice if the 2 of you could talk to each other about it ... you both have one thing in common your both dealing with an issue that is so complex and hard to understand and deal with it he has tricinosis it means that when he gets stressed out he pulls his hair out , he hasnt been doing that lately but for awhile there he had a huge part of hair missing from the stress..his user name on yahoo isimvuroseblue hes online in his room  you can tell him that you know me and maybe tyou both together can lean on each other I have no intention of letting cancer get the best of me I am going to plug thru this just like everything else we have had to go thru. He means the world to me and it hurts me to know how much this must be hurting him...i wish you and your family the very best and if you need something just yell Dustin and me are only a key stroke away..take care God Bless You and Your Family  ChelseaCathy & Dustin  izblonde Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hello, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's cancer.  I'm 27 and also in the process of losing my dad to lung cancer.  He has been given 3 months, and that was over 3 months ago now.  So it is just a waiting game.  Like you, I'm not quite sure what to look for or how to handle everything.  You probably feel a multitude of feelings, most of all an inexpressible sadness.  Like the other response, I would say to say everything you need to say and let him say everything he needs to say.  And sometimes it may be awkward and no one knows what to say.  But you will take with you these last memories.   As far as how the end looks, it depends on the type of cancer.  But my dad's nurse sat down and told me that it will be a gradual decline, with an increase in breathing difficulty, lots of emotions coming from him, even some anxiety.  So just be as calming with your dad as possible.  How is your mom doing?  Do you have siblings to help?  Everyone needs each other's support during something like this. But do know that God has complete control and is not randomly doing this.  He has a plan, and you're part of it.  And He also wants you to know His love for you through all this.  Hang in there!  My heart goes out to you. fireitup Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 10/27/2007 babysurf13 wrote:Hi everybody, I am Chelsea. My father was told he had lung cancer in early August. He did the cemo treatment and it did not work. He went to the doctors after that and they gave him 6 months to live.  But for the people who have lost there love ones from it i have a couple of questtions. Did you know when his time was up? And how did you move on from it. I need to know more about it. I am only a 15yrs girl, that doesnt know anything. So if you people would help me out that would be great.thanks<3Dear Chelsea,I know how hard this if for you, I just recently lost my mom to a rare cancer, adreanal cancer.  She passed away 10 months ago.  It is very hard to loose a loved one, my mom knew she was going to die, we had many wonderful talks before she became very week,those are the moments to treasure, I lost my dad when I was 20., and now 43 I lost my mom, it hurts no matter what age, but you my darling are too young, and you have to be strong for your dad, but don't be afraid to show your feelings, tell him everyday you love him, and if you need to cry then cry.  I wish I had some thing that could make the pain go away, but I don't I am still going through it myself, even for my dad who is gone 21 years, time lets you learn to deal with the loss, but missing them and loving is as strong if not more when it happens..You want to know when it is time, you will know when it is time, don't look for it, when it happens pray that it is fast and no pain.  You don't want to see your dad in pain, we are selfish we want them here, but we don't want them to hurt.  Don't look for it.  My best advise as mom use to say, live one minute by minute, one hour by hour, one day by day, don't look to the future just live for today.  I will pray for you, if you want to talk we can talk on private message and I can give you my e-mail.  Do you have brothers and sisters, how old are they.  Do you have a support group, it could be your friends, family, or if you feel good talking to your priest then do so, talking about how you feel will help you.Hope to hear from you, good luck--God BlessMarie Faccia_Bella Sat, 27 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hi everybody, I am Chelsea. My father was told he had lung cancer in early August. He did the cemo treatment and it did not work. He went to the doctors after that and they gave him 6 months to live.  But for the people who have lost there love ones from it i have a couple of questtions. Did you know when his time was up? And how did you move on from it. I need to know more about it. I am only a 15yrs girl, that doesnt know anything. So if you people would help me out that would be great.thanks<3 babysurf13 Sat, 27 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT