Wondering

Hello

 I am a daughter in law to a wonderful woman, who we just found out had stage III Squamous cell cancer. We were told she may have 6 months. And hospice will be helping us. 

She is 83 years old, and also have Congestive heart failure,  pulmonary fibrosis, pulmonary edema, and anemic. 

 She has alot going against her. But I am writing, for help, any suggestions, etc.

 

Thank you,

Stephanie 

Hi Stephanie--we could be the same person. My mother was dx'd in Nov 2006 with Stage IV NSCLC after she underwent a colon resection for colon cancer. Mom also had a double by-pass, several strokes, etc. Mom was given 8-10 months without treatment.

Here it is a year later, and Mom and I are off to New Orleans for a week. She refused all treatment and we have had a great year. Our strategy was simple: Laugh, live and love.

My mother and I speak often about life and death. This past year I have cried buckets as I can not imagine my life without my mother, but the reality is that all of us will die at sometime in some way.

There are lots of different "treatments" and "scientfic proven" data to support a course of action but only God knows when our time is up on this earth. My recommendation is enjoy every day you have, make her comfortable and happy in every way, eliminate schedules, let her eat when and what she wants and tell her how much you love her and how much she has taught you.

My thoughts are with you---also a "Stephanie"

Hello

I so thank you for you kind words. It has been so hard, but harder on my husband. As, he is the baby, and the boy in the family and all things decided about her care, are on his plate, and mind all the time.

She is coming home tomorrow, with hospice care. As I have taken care of her before, and now again, she doesnt look herself, she looks so ill, and has lost so much weight. She is only 90 lbs now, and skin and bones. What makes it worse is the family issues, and now Adult protective services.

 Its a mess, but I tend to make her life that God has planned for her, what she wants. And as happy and content as she should have it.

 I tend to think of her as my mom, even if its thrown in my face as I am only through marriage. But oh well, this is for her. And it should be that way.

 

I thank you again, and hope you and your mom have a great time. I value this time with her, bc of losing my dad so fast. And just recently losing her hubby 8 months ago.

 

God Bless,

Stephanie