Switching Oncologists

This is one of those times that strong advocacy for your husband makes all the difference in the world. INSIST on another doctor. This doctor's response to you is inexcusable. Time to say to that office, "I am woman hear me roar"! Good Luck,

Switch!!!!! I had a great oncologist who believed in me. I heard she left her previous group because she felt the other doctors weren't compassionate to the patients. My doctor was so compassionate, in fact, nothing prepared me for the oncologists and researchers I encountered at conferences I attended. My cancer type/subtype was a "bad actor" "very aggressive" "highly lethal" "has no good treatment" etc. I left one conference room in tears. That lecture was NOT directed at medical students or journalists. The attendees were all patients and their families. A perfect example of insensivity bordering on cruelty. Physicians, heal thyself! Why not instead discuss the wisdom of research funding for cell-specific treatments? The way those doctors talked, they might as well have sold booth space to undertakers and estate lawyers. Fast forward: Despite my official 30 percent survival rate (or 15 percent if you factor in my cell subtype) not only am I alive six years after surgery, I have been in remission ever since first-line chemo ended in February 2002. And while I think I owe my life to my doctor's surgical skills and pure dumb luck rather than anyone's positive attitude, I will never forget the hope my oncologist gave me in my darkest hours. If I've learned one thing about cancer in the last six years, it's that this disease is unpredictable. Try to keep that in mind if you're a fellow member of the bad-stat club. I know a woman who had the EXACT same cancer type and subtype that I had. The difference between us was that she was a stage II and I was a stage III. Despite her earlier stage, she survived just two years, and here I still stand.

BY ALL MEAN......... SWITCH!!!! Oncologists are a breed of there own, as far as how they treat people. Some are overly untruthfully optomistic, others are dry and overly truthful. When they have patients, the need to be able to 'feel them out' and see what kind of answers the person and ther family really want to hear. A friend of mine told me something awhile back, that is ver true. Thats why the call it "practicing medicine", which means they dont have a black and white  answer, everything is VERY GRAY. Ever person is different, and based on living in a sue happy society, they run scared on what they can or should say, because if it ends up being wrong..some one coms back and says... YOU said this or that, and it wsnt true and my love one died in 6 months, when you said something else.

Best way to find a Doctor, is to ask other people you know.  See if there is  a msg board for your treatment center of choice. I was in the same position, living in a rural area, I went to the closest one. My Doctor was the WORST. Thought she was goddess of Oncology, and you as a mere human, had no reason to know, let alone question her reasoning or choices or worth her time to bother with explaining anything to you, you were just to do as told, and not question. She lasted about 4 weeks, and I was gone. She never thought I needed to know my stage, or diagnosis. I only got the answers to my questions from my surgeon. I have stage 3 aggressive non-hormonal breast cancer, that spread thru my lymph system. Your time, mindset, and personal well being is very important when it comes to this disease. Unfortuately, there is TOO MUCH $ to be made in treatments, so at this point in time, there is no way there going to look really hard at a cure. I wish you luck in your choices, and hope you can find a good oncologist that fits your needs as a patient and family.

Hi Eileen,

I'm so sorry about your husband's cancer and his uncompassionate doctor.  I actually do not have a similar experience.  My oncologist was very, very encouraging and had a very good bedside manner.  I know you say that this is the only oncology facility in town...what about surrounding towns?  Is there a  cancer treatment center nearby?  How often does your husband go for chemo?  You have probably already researched all of this, but if not, it might be worth checking into facilities in other towns.  If not, it may be time to speak with the oncologist in question and tell him that his negativity is causing distress with both of you.  It so surprises me to hear of an oncologist who is not compassionate.  You would think that someone who practices this particular specialty of medicine would be full of compassion--someone who wants to make a difference.  

I wish you and your husband the best of luck and health. 

Sincerely,

Mary 

I have a slightly different perspective than some of the other posts on this subject. I am currently a patient battling renal cell cancer (kidney cancer) for the third time in my life. You can read my history in my post under Renal Cell Cancer (Sutent Has Worked For Me, Tumors Are Gone, dated 11/11).

 

My general feeling is that if a doctor emphatically says to a cancer patient you have no chance of surviving your current illness…. then my advice is to run or get as far away from that doctor as possible. Once the onc he has reached that conclusion, one can only surmise that his efforts on behalf of his patient will be jaded by what he considers an inevitable conclusion so why would he waste time looking for potential treatments.

 

Your post quoted your onc as saying "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  Well the painful truth is that statement applies to almost all of us fighting cancer. I will admit that it was not a sensitive statement and he was a jerk for stating it in that manner. But most of these onc’s are men of science and their bedside manner leaves much to be desired. Only God will decide if we will still be here a year from now. When my current onc informed me that I had stage IV kidney cancer he indicated that “things were not good” … some expression one never forgets. My research on the internet indicated that a 5 year survival rate for the stage IV cancer I have was less than 5%. While he was probably aware of that fact, he never told me that, but it sure gave meaning to his words that things were indeed NOT GOOD. While I never got the “warm fuzzies” (and still don’t) from my current onc, I stay with him because my research showed that the treatment program he prescribed for me is what I would have prescribed for myself. I am confident that he knows his business. My opinion is that this should be the most important criteria in selecting an onc.

 

In your case I believe that your onc was being painfully honest while not being very sensitive. If you believe that your husband will not get proper treatment due to your onc’s statement or sentiment, then you have little choice but to move on.  If on the other hand your research confirms the treatment program he has prescribed for your husband’s cancer, then I would say moving to another onc is a matter of choice rather than necessity.

 

Eileen, I hope this helps. Fighting cancer causes all of us to have to make some agonizing decisions along the way. I wish you and your husband a very long and happy life. May God bless you both.

 

On 11/13/2007 Cropsey wrote:

Please help! 

My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)

Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness.

What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.

If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.

Thank you so much......

      Eileen
 

 

You have the right to find another doctor and of course, that doctor can come up with a number of excuses but you must be aggressive and demand your rights as a patient.   Call your primary care doctor and see if you can find some help from your insurance company.   

I know oncologists see depressing cases daily but I have to tell you the oncologist I see remains pleasant and positive and the man is overworked.   

 

Forty-one months ago, my husband Jack (age 65) was operated on for removal of a IV GBM and the operating surgeon "gave" Jack six months.  We were devastated and have since learned that the medical profession has an undercurrent of negativity/fatalism because of the epidemic of diseases.  Since that daunting time my husband has avoided the "follow-through" with the negative surgeon and has gone on to partner with his oncologist/radiologist/general practice doctors and thus has regained his faith in himself.  You MUST partner with doctors who are positive because you and your husband must empower yourselves as you fight the battle to beat the disease and this cannot be done with negative medical care.  Fight to maintain a balance by taking control and good luck.  Loyce!

According to my first oncologist, I should be nearly on my death bed by now. Instead I'm feeling better every day. She tried to emotionally manipulate me into treatments with her dire prognoses.

I was fortunate to live in a larger city where I could find another oncologist with more knowledge than the first as well as a great personality. It will be much harder in your case. Would it be possible to travel to another town for oncology appointments? Having a doctor who brings you down after every visit actually makes you sicker, I think. Do whatever you can to get your husband to a better doctor.

 

On 11/13/2007 Cropsey wrote:

Please help! 

My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)

Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness.

What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.

If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.

Thank you so much......

      Eileen
 

Dear Eileen,

 It is sickening to have to report your situation is not that unusual.  My Daughter is an ovarian cancer survivor.  During the initial shock and discovering the treatment options, and how to proceed to cure the disease, we were subjected to the medical profession's routine lack of personal caring.  The only facility we felt had a personal stake in her healing was Cancer Treatment Centers of America.  I can't say enough about their approach to cancer as a total mind, body experience.

Remember it is your responsibility to seek an oncologists who shares your belief that cancer is just a disease.  It is up to you to take control of your life and your physician.  Spend as much time to find the right Dr. as you would spend buying a car,. You need more than a good Dr., you need a man of faith and healing knowledge.  Do your homework, search the web for your best options, and don't stop until you find the right ansers for your particular situation.  Interview your next oncologists, and give your cold doctor the boot.   Look for a professional who understands a positive, strong attitude is necessary to assist you in healing.  Live Long and Strong

  Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition!

 

 

Hi Ellen, you have the right to switch oncologist. medical therapy envolves the spirit, soul and body. your present oncologist seems not aware of all the three components of healing.